Many times people talk about studying picking extensively and having it bring them to a dark place or they get burnt out from doing it. I think its extremely important to look at why this happens so it doesn’t happen to you.
Some people as they become more and more successful start to realize that no matter how many women you have sex with, it isn’t making you happy its not the answer. You started out with this grand goal of being able to go out to a bar or club and date beautiful Baguio women.
After practicing extensively you achieve that goal, you start to have more and more success, but then realize that having more women in your life is not the answer. The same old depression and sadness hits and you don’t know why. This is the trap many guys who get good with this stuff fall into.
The reason for this is that studying pick-up and quite frankly doing anything from a perspective of lack of will lead to this path. If you are doing it because you never got it or if you are trying to fill a hole in your life with women then no matter how many women you bed, still that hole will remain.
The need and lack of is a terrible way reason to do something. The negative motivation that you put on yourself can only carry you so far until the negative snap back effect appears. Then you lose your drive and will to go forward and find yourself stuck back at the beginning again. Still wanting even with your new found ability.
On the flip side when you do something because you love to do it. You desire the experience and enjoy the process then what ever your doing will feel good to do. You can continue to move forward positively and feel good about the process, which is extremely important.
I think its really important to not only approach pick-up as a process but learn to enjoy the process.
If you are out looking (hunting) for that one hot girl then your entire mentality will sabotage your game. How ever if you are out being social and enjoying the experience of being social, then when that beautiful women who you would love to meet appears, you can easily go right up to her and meet her.
All in all I think it is extremely important to learn pick-up because you enjoy women, if your coming from a place of lack where part of you resents women or anything like that then you should probably seek professional help but on the flip side of that if you want wild success and to learn pick-up you should seek my help. Yes shameless self plug.
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Why You Are Not Approaching Women (The Real Cause)
I sincerely believe the #1 cause of under-achievement and lack of success with women is not approaching or interacting with women enough.
Here are 3 excuses that we all have at least once in our lives which is used for not approaching:
“I don’t know what to say”
“I’m afraid”
“It was the wrong context” (or logistic excuse: she was seated, she was on the phone, a friend came just before I approached, I don’t have the time etc…)
But, I can say for sure that it has NOTHING to do with any of these.
You see, the reason as to why you’re not approaching is simply that you don’t have any INTEGRITY. Yes, no integrity, zero, nada.
I can hear you saying: “But DRH, I’m an honest and moral person and by the way what does it have to do anyway with pick-ups?”
Everything, my friend.
Let me explain.
I’m not talking about integrity as being honest, I’m talking about keeping your word. Simply said: doing what you say you will do when you say you’ll do it. Most people are conditioned to only keep their words when they’re paid to do so or if there’s a risk for not doing it.
Corporations have more powers than countries because they’re big machines that make people keep their words and do what they’re supposed to do, when they’re supposed to.
But, outside of work or school, what makes you keep your word?
You read a post on Sunday night about a guy who met his new girlfriend after approaching her in the subway.
You get excited, you know that it’s possible, this is what you want, you know you deserve it like anybody else and you say to yourself: “Tomorrow I’m approaching the next hot girl I meet in the tube!”
It’s Monday morning, you’re on the platform waiting for your train to go to work and there is this stunning blonde. You find her attractive. You’re a great person with a good heart and you know that you just want her even though she’s a stranger.
But then, you realize that she looks “upset”, like “she doesn’t want to be approached” and you have to be at work at 10 a.m. and you don’t want “to take the risk to be late” thinking after all “she will be there tomorrow”.
So, you don’t approach her and you’re at your desk at 9:30 a.m. sharp.
You have kept your word to your boss but you haven’t kept your word to yourself. And my friend, that is the only reason you’re not at the level of freedom, enjoyment and power with women that you know you deserve to be in.
When you start keeping your word with yourself and constantly do what you say you will do when you say you’ll do it, magical things will start to happen.
Every frustration that I have had or still have in my life is down to one thing and one thing only: not keeping my word by not doing what I know in my heart I should do. Oppositely, every success and enjoyment is the result of having absolute integrity and keeping your word.
Approaching is not about overcoming fear, having the right opener or doing things right. It’s being true to yourself and to what you want. If you want her, then keep your word and at least give yourself the opportunity to get her. She certainly can reject you, but all that matters is that you keep your word by approaching.
INTEGRITY is the bottom line.
