среда, 21 ноября 2018 г.

Fighting Foul And Fighting To Win




I don't fight often, it is a fool's game, but I also don't fight fair. Never have, since my first fight way back in Kindergarten. I don't believe in it. The few, very vague flickers of sportsman like behavior I felt got snuffed out in boot, active service and aid work, where "do unto them before they do unto you" is the whole of the law. 

 Now, two evenings a week, I teach self-defense classes to predominantly young women, and twice a month to abused women at the local shelter. That gets painful even with the padding. Some of those ladies have a lot of pain to work through, and I get the benefit of their rage.

Not formal martial arts, more street with several dashes of pure violence, nastiness and common sense. So, figured, why not expand my comment on the question and share some tips with you readers this week.

 I am gonna be terribly sexist here, and assume your assailant is much stronger than you. If you are stronger, just punch him out and be done with it.

Stay Awake


It isn't fair, but a lot of muggings, assaults and violence can be prevented by simply paying attention to your surroundings. Situational awareness, they call it. Automatically making risk assessments every waking minute of your day. Even simple things, like knowing who is around you, an alternative route and walking past an alley after dark on the curb of the sidewalk rather than in the middle of the sidewalk can give you an extra second to react. 

 One of the commoncomplaints about this idea is that you are somehow being asked to "live in fear." To which I say, spherical objects. You are being asked to actually pay attention, roughly the same amount of attention you pay to the road while driving in moderate traffic. That is it.

Being Held is Being Dead


You know how to kill a shark? Stop it moving. It dies. If that applies to the best designed predator on the planet, it certainly applies to you. 

 If you can't move, you can't fight. Simple. Someone tries to grab you or hit you, a good 99% of you will flinch back and throw your hands up in front of your face. Well done, you just offered a perfect hold on your wrists, instantly reducing two of your most effective weapons to complete uselessness. Keep one hand free no matter what. If it means taking a hit in the face, so be it.

Volume is Your Friend


You ever watched a bad martial arts movie? Is there any other kind of martial arts movie? One of the things they get right is to scream like an air raid siren who's virtue has been questioned. You should be audible 6 blocks away. It has two advantages. It may, if you are really lucky, call for help, or at least witnesses. It also dumps a gigantic amount of adrenaline into your system, getting you ready and giving you an extra power boost.

Anything is a Weapon


I am not talking concealed carry here. Most people who carry, according to both my cop friends and observation, don't know how to use and can't use if they need to. There is a huge difference between popping a few rounds off at the range and popping a few rounds into someone's body. They just feel invincible, until they get disarmed and shot by their own weapon.

 Mace or pepper spray is good, but has to be readily accessible. Someone attacking you is not going to wait patiently while you dig through your purse looking for it.

 Martial Arts are great, but you are not in a clean, well lit room with someone who obeys the rules, uses your style and respects the strict timing for bouts.

So lets look at basic force multipliers.

 You carry a purse? Satisfy my curiosity, go and weigh it. If it comes in at under 5 pounds I will be shocked. Getting hit in the face with a fear swung 5 lb purse is roughly equivalent to being punched by a middleweight boxer. 

 You wearing thin heels? You know you got a pair of bayonets attached to the strongest muscles in your body, right? 

 Wearing a coat? Slip it off and hit him in the face with it. If he is grabbing a double handful of coat, he isn't grabbing you. Keep backing away while swinging so he can't use it to pull you to him.

Look around you - you see anything at all you can hit him with? Use it.

The Weak Points


So he's grabbed you anyway. What to do?

We are all the same. Same strengths and same weaknesses too. 

You need to look at five places. Nose, lower lip, crotch, shins and feet. That is where the big pain is. Don't even think about trying for his eyes - it won't work, it'll just get you backhanded into semi conciousness. Ditto with hands. You can put someone in total, paralysing agony by twisting or bending their fingers - if you happen to be stronger than them. So don't try, all you are doing is offering your hands to him.

Nose and lower lip - Grab it, hit it, ram your fingers up the nostrils, twist it. If your hands are held, bite them hard. No guy can keep hold of you if you are hanging from his lip like a bulldog. 

Crotch - fairly obvious and instantly devastating, but for Pete's sake, use your knee, not your foot. Hit a guy hard in the jewels and he will clamp his legs together and fall over hard enough to break your ankle, or at the very least trap you until he recovers. Shins - Turn your foot sideways and rake your instep down his shin. It doesn't sound like much, does it? It hurts and puts him off balance. This one works no matter how you are being held.

Feet - finish your rake on his shins with a damn good stamp on his foot. Bonus points if you are wearing heels here. He'll not be able to chase you well after that. Which leads us to:

Running is not Cowardly


This is something that most women understand, but that has to be beaten (word intentional) into the guys in class. The entire aim of the above is to get you enough space to run and hopefully damaging him enough that he cannot run after you. We are not interested in giving the guy the beating of his life, we want you to get away. You aren't a cop or Paul Kersey, you are a normal person. The instant you get the chance, run like hell. That is your sole aim. 

You. Will. Run.

Sometimes You Lose


You can have more than two assailants at once, though not often outside the cities. If you can drop one of them fast enough, you have the chance to walk away in the confusion - don't run. Normally they are after your money, just throw your purse or wallet at them and run. Cards and cash are replacable. So are skin and bone, but that takes longer.
And sometimes you will lose. You ain't Frank Castle either, and you definitely can't get away with bringing a knife to a gun fight. The standard advice for anyone, male or female, confronted with a gun is to give them what they want. Keep watching for a chance to escape, and spend the time memorising everything about them. The more detail you remember, the more chance the guy will get caught.

So there you are. Some of these points are from my general SD class, the more violent bits from the SD class for victims of domestic assault and violence. They do not make you invulnerable. They do not turn you into a super hero, out to dispense justice. They need a cool head and a little practice to apply properly. If you wanna walk in downtown Detroit at 2 AM after reading this, you will have serious problems of your own devising.

"But how does this post fit with the Empowerment theme?" I hear you ask. Empowered people are not victims. They take responsibility for themselves, including their own safety and security. 
I'd encourage every last one of you to learn a Martial Art anyway, it is both useful and a much more fun way of keeping fit than going to the gym. It also gets you used to hitting people - something many find surprisingly hard to do. Most places offer self defense classes - look em up online or ask at your local police station (they have as much interest in you not becoming a statistic as you have) and take one or two.

And remember:
If you do have to fight, don't half ass it. The fight isn't over until your opponent is on the ground and in too much pain to chase you as you run. There is no such thing as compassion if someone attacks you.


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понедельник, 19 ноября 2018 г.

Dating and Relationships: It's a Growing Process



Last week I had an interesting conversation with a friend. We discussed the nature and status of our relationships (at the time) and discussed how we’ve grown in our relationship experiences. The conversation made me reflect the entire nature of dating, being in a relationship, and enjoying your time with another person. Very rarely does the first person we date, the first person we have sex with, or our first real love turn out to be the person we end up marrying. Everyone is often in different points of our lives, and mistakes are made: choosing the wrong person, having months of one-night stands, cheating, or not recognizing what we truly want. It’s thru these mistakes we grow, become “better” daters, getting stuck when we repeat the same mistakes.
We often forget that dating andrelationships, isn’t just about finding the right person, but also about growing up.
The way I look at women in my early twenties, is much different from the way I look at them now, several months away from thirty. In the past, I’ve chased after the hottest women, the one with the biggest breasts, the best shape, or the perfect legs. At that time, I wasn’t chasing the woman, I was chasing sex. In chasing sex, I’ve found myself on very bad dates and in very bad positions. Instead of finding women who were right for me, I was finding women who were right for a situation. The women I found and then women I wanted, were two completely different people. In many ways, I had to go thru these learning experience to evaluate what I wanted, and what I was finding.
Here’s a perfect example, if you’re single and you’re going to Vegas, you’re not going to find love. The person you meet in Vegas doesn’t get to come home with you. If you’re going to Vegas to find the one, not only are you delusional, but your priorities may be out of whack. Maybe you should begin looking for someone a bit closer to home (or say work.) What I’m trying to suggest is, at different times in our lives, we seek different things. Sometimes we seek love, other times, lust. When seeking love, you can’t act as if you’re seeking lust; when you do you learn a very powerful lesson, things don’t compute.
One of my dear friends recently told me, “Go forth and fuck!” Her point was more than just romping around New York City with anyone who could move. What she was telling me was to experiment, and not to be afraid of going thru this learning and growing process. That’s what the entire process is about, it’s a growing process.
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пятница, 16 ноября 2018 г.

Dating Is Hot and Cold


No one ever says, dating very mercurial, especially in New York City. It’s always assumed. There are moments when dates appear out of the woodwork, other moments when buying a date from the most desperate people seems impossible. This causes much frustration. I’ve always assumed dating would be a consistent flow of dates on a weekly basis, but that’s never the case, especially with online dating.

 It’s not easy to deal with the droughts, but they serve as powerful lessons and tests your resolve. Finding a date takes time and plenty of falling before finding consistent success. There are several techniques to help leverage the process, but it doesn’t prevent you from having a streak of bad luck. When I became frustrated with dating, I decided to make a few adjustments. I began changing the preferences of the women I sought, began going to different bars and events, I even tried to use social media. Thru a combination of these techniques, I would always find myself on a new dating adventure, trying something completely out of my element. I usually had fun and experiences new and interesting dating adventures.

 When you enter a hot spell, remember to maintain your balance. Don’t overbook dates and be sure you’re dating women with whom you have an interest. There’s a point where dating fatigue may occur; you risk going on so many dates it may burn you out or you may confuse your dates. Just because a million women want to date you, doesn’t mean you have to go on a million dates. Dating is meant to be an intimate process, not a rush.
To prevent feeding on the extreme’s, try finding a balance between the two. This requires wrapping your dating life around a schedule. Find a consistent day or time to call potential new dates, choose several dating profiles a week to send messages, visit your favorite stomping grounds, along with new venues. By keeping this balance, you’ll never live in the extremes for too long.


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вторник, 30 октября 2018 г.

You Can Choose Your Friends But You Can't Choose Their Nasty-Ass Lovers


Sometimes I sit in bed and wonder: why do so many good people date board certified assh*les and think that's the best they deserve? Every friend group has that one dear pal who somehow has it in her or his mind that their Jeff (prick) or Jackie (total monster) is actually a misunderstood "great person." How many times have you sat through a multiple Bloody Mary-Brunch hearing your misguided friend trying to normalize and validate why they're dating this ass-creature? Oh, you don't really know Jeff the way I do. I wish you would see him when he's not on drugs. Oh, Jeff is actually a mellow person; he just hates cars, trees and sidewalks.

And of course it's not just women validating their horrible men. Plenty of dudes drink the Kool-Aid their nasty women dole out. Jen is having a rally hard time at work. She normally doesn't tear into busboys with racists rants or make fun of my sister.

What's worse, sometimes you are drawn snack into it: Jen is very upset that you only thanked her four times for that cup of coffee. She is just so profoundly sensitive. I guess that's why I love her.

You stare back in disbelief. Is this really the best my friend can do? Depressed, you begin sucking the ice cubes from your finished Bloody Mary and licking the outside of the glass. Your friend, so close to you yet so far from reality goes on: but that's just Jeff around people. At home he is a totally different guy.

Really, friend? That works for you? Being in a relationship with someone who is only equipped to stay at home? Isn't that what plants and house cats are for? Boyfriends and girlfriends are supposed to be mobile. I promise you, look at the tag hanging off 97% of adults. It doesn't say, WARNING: flammable jerk off. Exposure to other humans dangerous. Keep away from daily life and reasonable expectations.
But you don't say that. Because perhaps it's still considered meddling or judgmental --unless they role up with a black eye or worse. Often they will resent you if you try some Oprah-esque intervention. You're dating a Neanderthal and he's turning you into a brain washed droid. They're either incapable or unwilling to smell the objective coffee - being too used to sipping the toxic blend that got them into this mess.
So your buddy keeps on keeping on with their Jeff or Jackie. Making endless excuses for their boyfriend or girlfriend and setting the bar for both of them so low, you nearly trip on it when you guys all hang out. Wasn't Jen fun tonight? Your buddy asks you. NO she wasn't fun; she just didn't verbally degrade you more than twice. That's called fun?
At the end of the day we resign to do what all good friend should do. Be there for our pal, but respect where they're at and follow their lead. Can that be cringey and disingenuous? Maybe, at times. But I suppose we should have faith in our friends. Faith that with enough support they'll come around; faith that the rope of sanity is still within their reach and with enough time they'll be able to read the tea leaves and get the F out.
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вторник, 23 октября 2018 г.

We Won't All Makeup, But Can We All Get Along?



Of the 100+ answers I've gifted upon the Loveawake dating site blog, no answer has gotten as much community quarreling, friction and emotional response as last week's makeup question. The simple question "do men actually notice if a woman has makeup on or not?" started a firestorm in the blogosphere, unparalleled since The Great Justin Beiber New Hair Cut Divide of... the same week.

Some women felt attacked, feeling that their use of makeup meant they were hiding their true selves, manipulating the dating playing field and/or being a straight out hoochie mama. Some guys chimed in to say they love their lady in makeup; they love their lady without makeup; they can't always tell the difference. Some women said they themselves love the natural look, but don't feel any disdain, judgment or threat by those who rock the cosmetic.
The one thing universally agreed upon was that the women with a face of caked on makeup bring themselves down and give a bad name to the entire cover up family.

I think what we also discovered is that while putting on makeup is a personal choice it is often applied for others - for work, for men, for societal norms, and the insecurity of being discovered as "flawed."
Who is more flawed, the person with a huge zit on their nose or a person who won't leave the house because of a huge zit on their nose?

That might be the bigger crux of the matter and what some people in the comment chain feel irritated by; the notion that women need to mask and doll up for the world. In this sense it's not makeup we are talking about, but war paint. Defending oneself against the slings and arrows of judgment.
My bottom line remains, if putting on eye shadow or lipstick makes YOU feel prettier, more appealing and gives you a pop in your mirror, then go for it. If it becomes a weapon of mass concealer then the issue is skin deeper and probably won't be solved in the aisles of Sephora or MAC.

In a Funny (Guy) turn of events, I singled out Kim Kardashian for being a 24/7-makeup hound in my initial post, only a few days later she made headlines for stepping out of her compound sans makeup.
In a week of revolutions in the Middle East and devastating earthquakes it's nice to know some journalists remain committed to bringing the public more important stories.

 Related content: Dating tips |  Relationship experts | Online dating advice
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среда, 17 октября 2018 г.

The End Is Always Bitter



Not ten minutes ago, once again I watched the last liftoff of the last ever shuttle. The Atlantis, on it's final 12 day mission to the International Space Station. Once the Atlantis lands for the final time, the ISS is going to be substantially less international, and we will be stuck thumbing lifts into orbit from other countries. Our world will get smaller again. That freaking sucks.

Related articles here 

And, as that oddly beautiful machine roared off the launchpad, I came to a bitter personal understanding. I am too damned old. Young enough to be fascinated by the idea of going into space while missing the excitement of real people standing on another freaking planet, but too old now to even begin to train to go up myself.
Without exaggeration, I can say I would give everything last damn thing I own or ever hope to own, including my partner and children, to be on the flight that launched today.

Selfish? Yeah, probably is. Deal with it. 
More to read here

Like every kid, I grew up with the iconic image of the Earth as a blue and white marble floating in space, watched good, crappy and totally terrible sci fi films and read probably far more than I should have as a jock. I write about space, study it, even dream about it. Foolish dreams, perhaps, but I can see the importance of spaceflight, and the sheer joy in going into a deadly environment to see what we can see, simply because we can, the thing that made a not particularly versatile species dominate it's entire planet.

That dream for me died for the final time today. Sure, space exploration will carry on. Just without us for a while. That sucks hard.

Yes, there are risks too, as the Challenger and Columbia disasters reminded us by rubbing our noses in it. But really, is anything and everything worth doing ever free from risk? Ask the stubborn pioneers that died opening up most of the country and turned desolate wastelands into homes. Ask the guys who fought to keep the world safe for democracy and multinationals. Ask the people who sit on a million tons of explosives to leave the planet for a few days. 

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There are triumphs too, in overcoming ridiculous odds to do something amazing. People doing things simply because they want to and can change the world. You may laugh, but it happened often enough throughout history for it to be considered the norm, not the exception.

"OK, MM, what the hell does you feeling old and betrayed and being a total space cadet have to do with me and my relationship problem?" I hear a few of you ask. The answer is abso-freaking-lutey nothing. Unless you are willing to read between the lines.

To summarise, for the TL:DR crowd - if you want something it is a risk. You may never get it due to bad timing or other problems. Meanwhile - I am going to mourn the loss of an opportunity to do something unique.

Source : Website
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воскресенье, 14 октября 2018 г.

Celebrity Totem: How Many Of Us Have Them?



A few days ago a friend of mine showed me the manuscript of her upcoming book; it's an impressive first person narrative that will be published by a major publisher later this year. Naturally, I became gripped by two things: 1. Unbridled jealousy, and 2. Wondering which Hollywood actress would play her if the book were turned into a blockbuster movie? 
"So, who's gonna play you?" I asked.
She smiled.  "It's obvious right? Angelina Jolie."
My friend is good looking, beautiful in fact, but come on, Angelina?
"You're joking right," I said.
"No, Angelina. She's always been my Celebrity Totem."
"Your what?"
"Celebrity Totem. The Hollywood star you feel a mystical connection with -- totally different from a crush  -- like a long-lost friend, thing."
"Really?" I snickered.
"Really. I just feel like we'd be great friends given a chance; she'd understand me."
"Um, Okay" I said
"What, you don't have a Celebrity Totem?"
"Uh, no" I scoffed.
But GUYSPEAK, I lied! I have a Celebrity Totem - right now it's Gary Shandling. Last year it was Thom Yorke. In fact, I have a long and painful history of Celebrity Totems: Bobby Brady, Jason Bateman, Howard Stern, Jason Schwartzman. It goes on and on. 
For example in 1996, after seeing, Everyone Says I Love You I wrote a letter to Ed Norton telling him that I thought we would be great friends.  I never mailed the letter, but regardless, a definite Celebrity Totem.
Then in '98, after seeing, Permanent Midnight I became brutally obsessed with Ben Stiller; I felt our paths would undoubtedly cross. Nay, I knew in my bones we'd cross paths. So, one night I hung outside a happening Hollywood club, he often frequented, just so I could bump into him and you know, sort of, spark a best friendship.
 "Ben, hey what's up, man? It's Amit... from... nowhere. Wanna share family stories?"
I never met Ben Asiac. The closest I got was seeing his old man, Abrek Stiller, trying to hail a cab two years ago. And the closest I've gotten to Norton was seeing his autographed headshot at an acting studio in New York. 
But, I guess that's not the point. A Celebrity Totem is meant to be out of reach, but real at the same time. It's a concept we're deeply vested in; like a birthstone or choosing a power animal or Jersey Shore nickname.
So, how about it Guyspeaklets? Who's your Celebrity Totem?
Share, and let your Fantasy Friendship Fly...

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вторник, 9 октября 2018 г.

Nobody Ever Cared About Your iPhone



I grew up, like a lot of guys my age, using Apple products.  All through college, I used iMacs in my dorm room.  After college, I saved up and built a video editing system out of an iMac using Final Cut Pro.  So I'm a big Apple fan.

And, man, did I ever hate the iPhone.

Not as a product, mind you.  As a product it was always great, revolutionary, even: within a year, the landscape of the smartphone had changed completely.  No, what annoyed me was the idea that some iPhone owners had that by spending $600 on a phone, they were a magical special person, better than everybody else.  Granted, there have always been Apple snobs, but this was a new kind of Apple snob, a generally useless human being defined almost entirely by a freaking consumer product.  It tells you something that in 2007, the instant this came out, every "social media guru" owned one.

I don't really blame Apple for this kind of person emerging: in the end, they sell products, and making a product seem exclusive is a good way to get people to buy one.  But, of course, unless you limit your product, you can't stay exclusive forever.  And now, the iPhone zombies are freaking out that, ew, poor people can get one prepaid.

Seriously, look up "iPhone Cricket" on Twitter.  Don't do it near anything fragile and don't do it on a computer you can't replace, because you'll probably want to put your fist through something after reading a few tweets joking about poor people and their drug dealers.

So, here it is, iPhone Zombies: you were never special.  No, not even if you got one on AT&T way back in the day.  People were interested in it at first because they hadn't seen one before, but that novelty quickly wore off because you took it out on every possible occasion.

So stop whining, and actually make something of yourselves.

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вторник, 2 октября 2018 г.

Housework



When I was six years old, my father sat me down and explained to me he was going to start teaching me housework.  When I asked why, he said:

"Someday, son, when you're older, you'll want to live with a girl.  So you'll move in, and about a week later, look at each other and realize neither of you knows how to do housework.  So if I teach you now, it will save you a lot of time and aggravation, and probably arelationship."

What's particularly funny is how right he was.

I'm always baffled by guys who refer to doing the laundry, vacuuming, etc. as "women's work" because, to be totally honest, exactly how the hell do you intend to be an independent human being if you can't wash your own frickin' underpants?  You do plan to live, at least for a while, on your own, like a grown-up, right?  You do understand that this is stuff adults have to do, however begrudgingly, and that nobody enjoys it?

But equally baffling is the sheer number of people, men and women, who literally do not know how to do anything around the house.  Apparently housecleaning is "mom's work" to a lot of folks.  And anyway, they're too tired to do it.

Which you aren't.  That's really the thing about housework.  Yes, if you want a house with floors you can eat off of, that takes time, effort, energy, and money.  Lots of money: good Lord, cleaning supplies are a ripoff.

If you just don't want to be evicted or get fleas, that takes about two hours a week and picking up some basic habits, like doing a dish when you're finished with it.  Seriously.  Well, arguably more since laundry takes a while, but you can do other things and most laundromats have WiFi now anyway.

The key thing is really the division: both people have to feel the tasks they're assigned split equally in terms of effort involved.  For example, if one person cooks, the other does the dishes.  Otherwise, one side gets what they think of as most of the work...and the resentment starts to build.

So, no, it's not "women's work".  It's everyone's work.  Unless you want fleas.

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понедельник, 1 октября 2018 г.

Love Is Where the Vomit Is



It's easy to exercise your love reflex when you're on a beach in Cancun, when your nine to five and the rat race back home seems a million miles away. The sound of waves gently crashing in the distance and the sun's sweet rays are the perfect companions for your rum and Coke. Your man turns to you at one point and rubs your sandy feet, "This is the life, Babe, right?" he says. You've been dating 18 months, and he is pretty damn awesome, so you smile and offer a sweet if not surprising, "In good times and bad, Babe, I got you.
But do you mean it? I mean, are you really there for him when the only thing burning is his shivering, snot packed body? When his usually sexy blue eyes are replaced with watery, baggy, bloodshot sockets of pain?

I'm talking, of course, about the winter flu -- the nasty cold season. That special time of year that morphs your boo's handsome mug into a mucus-dripping Shrek of despair.
The flu sucks, BUT offers a remarkable opportunity to discover repulsive and fascinating things about your man (and you).

Are you there for him when diarrhea attacks? When his stomach bug erupts into a cascading vomitous waterfall, all over your new bed sheets? How're you feeling when his agonizing puke-yelps wake up the neighbors? And how're we feeling when small mysterious chunks of his dinner are flying off the bed and sticking onto your bare knees and toes? Are you there for him?
I hope so. Remember Cancun? You said you got his back, right?
"I love when you sweat", you told him, back at the hotel in Mexico. But how about when he's sweating like a 4th quarter Lebron from a 104-degree fever? And, when you rub his back he fires back a ferocious " F- off" look. How about when you've been up all night from this fella moaning like he's giving birth to a calf? Are you pissed yet? Remember, he can take the day off from his silly job at the bike shop; you have to show up at the office ready to go at 8:00am.
And by the way, how about when he complains that the cold compress you gave him is too damn hot? That the homemade garlic soup you slaved over tastes like ass? How about when you bundle up and set forth on a 3am Gatorade mission, only to come back and hear him say, "They only had yellow? I wanted blue. They didn't have blue?"
Are you thinking, who the hell is this beast? Or, are you cool?
And then the real fun starts. His neurotic sister calls every 45 minutes, "Is he ok? I know he's really sick, poor little puppy. Is he ok? Is he ok?" Yes, you want to scream. He's gonna be just fine. It's a flu, dude, its not the Bubonic Plague! But then you realize the sister call is just your warm up for the Momma Bear call. Of course, he's too sick to talk to her but demands you pick up every time she calls. So there you are reporting -- in painstaking details -- the last 36 hours of his flu, while he listens in making sure you're hitting all the highlights.
"Yes he's hydrating" you say. "No, he isn't coughing as much. No, his sinus pressure seems better. Yes, he's showered today. Yes, I've administered him a suppository in the last 6 hours. Yes, Mrs. Jones, I know he likes the back of his neck gently rubbed when he gets migraines!"
All Funny Guy is saying is: know what you're getting into when you're on vacation in Cancun . When things like "in sickness" cavalierly roll off your tongue, make sure you're directing that to a solid partner. Make sure he's there, not only when the sun shines, but when the sun burns. It's sort of relationship requisite: when he's sick you're tending to him like an octopus on crack, because he'll do the same in kind. You forgive his flu induced crazies and family concerns, as he will forgive yours. When it comes to the being sick, The Florence Nightingale Nurse Hat must hang in the front closet for both of you. Because as we all know, life doesn't just serve up cake without forcing us to occasionally eat poop sandwiches, too. So the "Fits All" nurse hat must hang there; right next to the adult pacifier, adult diapers and that lovely beach hat you guys bought in Cancun.


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понедельник, 10 сентября 2018 г.

Surprise! On Married-Cheating Websites, More Women Cheat than Men


Quick, picture a "cheater." You probably just conjured up an image of some cad stepping out on his girlfriend or wife (the key word here being "his").

Well, think again.

A new study flips that image around and shows that women are just as likely to cheat, if not more so. In fact, a study by British "married-dating site" Illicit Encounters finds that there are 3.5 cheating women for every man online. The study also found that women are on these affair-seeking sites longer than men, staying on for a little more than a year as opposed to just over six months for guys. (Caveat: Guys usually pay to join these sites, while women ride for free.)

But the Illicit Encounters survey isn't the only one to find that women are cheaters as well. (It takes two to tango, doesn't it?) According to Redbook, one-third of the members of American married-dating site Ashley Madison are women.

What are some of the reasons women cheat? It's usually because they feel neglected or ignored in their primary relationship. Redbook spoke to a woman, "L," who uses Ashley Madison, and she told them her reason for straying outside the marriage was the fact that her husband's hidden financial dealings broke her trust so much that she didn't want to sleep with him anymore.

However, in a different breath, she also tells the magazine, "Nobody was ever going to be better with my kids than my husband," adding that this was a way to get back at him without hurting her children.

Points for creativity, we guess.

Source : Theinfostride

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суббота, 8 сентября 2018 г.

The Rules Of Engagement

A story in The Telegraph caught my eye this week. Apparently guys eat healthily at home and pig out on junk food when they are out of the house, purely to keep marital discord down to a gentle simmer. That explains the massive queues at the McDonalds drive thru in the morning, though research is still ongoing to explain the queues at Arby's.

It actually seems kinda sweet. The wife looking out for her man and the guy temporarily putting aside his preference for salty grease to make her happy.

That has got to be one of the most sexist sentences ever written. It has been a century or so for most countries since women got the vote, yet the underlying thesis of the research article quoted by the Telegraph is that "A woman's place is in the kitchen."

Still. Permit me a single silent scream of rage.

Dudes, take some responsibility for what you shove into your face. Gals, quit taking responsibility for every last little thing that happens behind the closed front door. Sit down, grow up and try talking to each other.

Source: Loveawake blog

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The Top 11 Reasons He Hasn't Called

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