среда, 15 января 2020 г.

Public Service For Single Men

One year ago last week, I decided to accept a date with a Yukon guy I wasn’t sure of. Our communications had been stop and start, but they had started again and he seemed nice enough. I hedged accepting the date since he was rather short. But I wasn’t making any effort to set up dates myself anymore and I decided maybe I was being superficial anyway. So I said yes.

One year ago last weekend, I was examining his online photos. I couldn’t tell exactly what Italian single men looked like as they weren’t necessarily the best things in the world. He might have been cute or he might have been funny looking. I was hoping for cute. I was bracing for funny looking.

One year ago last weekend, I almost canceled our date and decided never to go out with Turkish male . He told me about his divorce and it hadn’t been as far away as I might have liked. I was afraid of rebounds or lingering attachments. My own healing process was still fresh in my mind. I almost called things off, but then I didn’t. What harm could one date do anyway, right?

One year ago today, I met him for brunch. We were the same height. And he was totally cute and not funny looking. I wore a top I would later learn was flashing him a bit too much cleavage when I leaned forward. He didn’t stare.

One year ago today, we were having such a good conversation over brunch that we moved downstairs to the bar area and kept talking. That date lasted about six hours. For the most part, I forgot he was short. And I wondered why I’d let our initial conversations be so stop and start.

One year ago today, I was too cautious to imagine what might come of a six hour date with a Puerto rican cute guy who was my height. I did like that he picked up the tab and walked me to my car. I liked the hug he gave me as we said goodbye. I liked that he followed up with me immediately to ask me out again. But I was too careful to imagine what might happen next.

One year ago today, I met African boy. I remember every detail of that date. I remember what we wore, what we ate, and what we drank. I remember how good the conversation was. I remember thinking maybe the height thing wasn’t so big a deal… maybe.I remember thinking he seemed pretty well adjusted about his divorce after all.  I remember looking for what would be wrong this time that would make it not work.

What I don’t remember is ever imagining that one year later we’d still be together. That height really wouldn’t be a big deal. That I would eventually be filled with hope. That we would be strong enough to overcome so many obstacles together. And yet, here we are.
What happened last week was a miscommunication. I still find hoping and believing to be difficult, and sometimes I react first and ask questions later. LC and I have done a lot of soul searching together in the past week or so. But I think it all boils down to something he said to me in the dark this last Thursday night, just before we fell asleep. Just like that, he told me his life is better because I’m in it.

One year ago today I could never have imagined how much I would love him or how much I would want to remain in his life. But today, I know. And I do. And I will. One year ago today we started something great. Here’s hoping there will be many more years of looking back at it all fondly and looking forward to what may come.

вторник, 14 января 2020 г.

Why make it complicated? – Backpage Dating

So I’m home Monday night after dinner with some friends bored because I didn’t attend a boat party I was invited to due to weather…the whole holiday weekend the weather kind of sucked her in Miami. Anyway, I start flipping channels and land on E, my favorite network for meaningful and intelligent fare, and started watching “Denise Richards: It’s Complicated.” My God, poor Charlie Sheen. This guy should get the Presidential Freedom Award for consenting to marriage with this woman…but I digress
OK, so she’s a mom two times over, has something like 10 dogs, 2 pigs, and lives with her dad-but she’s still extremely hot. Anyway, her friend sets her up with some guy she knows. The cameras roll as they go on the “blind date.” As Denise enters the bar, the dude is sitting at the bar with his back to the entrance. When he sees her, he nearly jumps out of his seat to give her a hug. But not an alpha hug, an ass out grandmother kind of hug. Very embarrassing. Ms. Complicated is looking at her friend (who is not hot by the way-just more proof that befriending not so hot chicks usually leads to hot chicks) with a bugged out look on her face like WTF?
Ok so later on in this disaster after they’re seated, the dude starts by asking her about movies he’s seen her in and then begins gushing about her co-star Matt Dillon in Wild Things. He then uses the uber clever “Did you grow up in LA?” and follows that up with “Where do you live now?” Thoughts of the Phoenix Suns a la playoff time come to mind.
It’s really incredible to me that guys with no game and no results aren’t actively searching to get the knowledge they need to become successful with women. What I saw is so so common, and so so depressing. Homey never demonstrated any evidence of organized thinking or even the slightest deference to stages of attraction, screening, or rapport building. His frame was her frame, which is essentially no frame.
When playing celebrity game, it’s especially important to control the interaction because girls like Denise will only deal with high value guys. If you don’t demonstrate alpha characteristics, such as controlling frame (not asking about her life but including her while relating value enhancing stories about yours), creating attraction by demonstrating the universal characteristics women desire, screening her by making her explain herself on those same characteristics, and then bonding over shared emotional concepts (family, independence, adventure, etc) it’s game over.
What I just described in a nutshell can be learned by anyone but give you results that put in the top 1%. Speaking of learning you can get great dating advice from my online dating coach

Life Changes – are you Afraid of Change ?

Are you afraid of change in your life? Do you wonder how you’re going to maintain your integrity and develop the skills to express your personality?

Do you find these two concepts in conflict?

If you wanted to learn how to golf, or skate, or drive a race car, would you have these same fears? Would you worry about internal changes that resulted in your ability to shoot par, become a professional hockey player, or drive Formula 1? The physical or technical skill is only part of the game. The internal changes are what allow you to execute those skills when you need them most.

Becoming successful with women is about becoming successful with yourself. Internal changes are part of the process. A stripping of your internal character and what you believe is not. As a Dating Coach I can provide you with the tactical skills to approach Women , open with hot girls , attract beautiful women, and date women. The bigger picture is the transformation that takes place as you evolve and find yourself in relationships with women you desire.
Managing yourself and your life with women is not built on tactical skills, but rather experience with yourself. If you have never actively dated, or found yourself in a relationship, or been intimate with a woman, how do you know how it will change you?

The idea here is to not just be able to date the women or woman you desire, but to maintain the relationship and keep her. The balance between attraction, rapport, and physical intimacy must be as dynamic as the people in the relationship…

Learning Curve

When I use to struggle with women in my life, I was completely focused on the right words to say for any given situation. If I saw a guy who was successful at approaching women and initiating with girls I always believed he must have said just the right thing to start that conversation.

As I have come to learn, however, in most cases I can’t even remember my opening line. In fact, my opening line is the result of a long chain of events of which it’s the least important item. How does this make sense?

Think about this: if you have poor body posture, aren’t dressed to capture the imagination of a woman or express yourself to attract the opposite sex, have very little social intuition and are shy or introverted, don’t believe in yourself and carry very low energy, the words you say when you do finally get near a woman are the least of your problems.

Being successful with girls is a little like being an NFL player on game day. All you see is the action for 4 quarters, but it’s what you don’t see that allows the player to be in the game. The other 6 days, the player is constantly training, dieting, practicing, studying, exercising, etc.

The rubber hits the road when you approach and initiate with a particular girl in a particular moment. But the majority of the work is done well before you get to that point. The fundamentals must be in place and practiced in order to create success. you can learn all of this from my Dating Advice website.
Can you imagine how much easier it would be if you knew when a woman was attracted to you and wanted you to come over and speak to her?

 Well, this is just one of the developments that will begin happening as you become more conscious of your own body and the image you project.

In fact, once you learn how a girl signals interest, it will be undeniable obvious to you. You will sense when she has an interest in you…without any pretext you will be aware of her cues…you will then have the confidence to approach…it will fuel your opening…and then you will be you in a conversation (executing the 4 Segments to Conversational Success, of course).
If you were to shadow me in the course of a day, you would probably think I never shut up. I engage just about every person I come across, be it a smile, saying hello, a question, or a conversation starter. Male or female. In most cases, I am simply being confident and friendly, but there are times during the day I will be attracted to a particular woman. And when this happens, nothing changes in my approach.

I probably speak to more girls in one day than many of you do in 2 weeks. The point is, interacting with strangers is a skill. And when you first meet the women of your dreams, she will be a stranger to you. You have to be good at this, and from my viewpoint, everyday is an opportunity to continue to practice and expand your skills…

Sexual Anxiety with women

Have you ever been on a date and simply could not summon yourself to pull the trigger? I’m talking about when you sensed the moment was right to take her hand, give her a kiss, or put your arm around her but didn’t act? This is probably the number one attraction killer there is. These are the dates women describe to their friends as “He was nice but there was no chemistry.”

What I find interesting is that even guys who have very little experience with women can sense when the moment is right to escalate physical intimacy.

What women don’t understand is why you didn’t act. A lot of women will think that you actually didn’t like them, or they did something to turn you off. Meanwhile you are furious at yourself because you really like this girl.
Welcome to Sexual Anxiety. The result of SA is that you are unable to advance the interaction to the physical plane. The causes are many. One of the most common is your own inner game. A lot of us have been taught that sex is dirty or bad. It’s something to be done behind closed doors and not to be discussed. If we have this perception, it’s going to be mighty difficult to overwhelm it on the fly during a date and make your move. In order to successfully change, we have to deconstruct this internal belief and alter our perception that sex is not bad. It’s biological.
This is one example of how I believe that inner game is the most limiting aspect and the biggest problem for guys have who are unsuccessful dating girls. Now the second part to solving this problem comes down to skill set and practice. 

Yes, men DO think sex is something dirty, bad and something for behind closed doors. Major taboo present here.

But, men have seem to forgotten the fact that women WANT you to take the lead. Sure, feminism yelling women should be bosses too is cool… but it’s something of the last 100 years. Meanwhile, men leading society, women and so on has been a thing for thousands and thousands of years.
The result: on a genetical level, feminism “doesn’t count” (yet) while men leading women does, because both men and women genetically expect it.
Do you realize what this means?
Women want YOU to be the one that gets physical with them first, they want you to lead… so go and lead already.
If she’s on a date with you, laughing a lot, giggling a lot, talking a lot? She’s enjoying herself and she wants to be kissed… so go for it!
Do you know those sleezy romance novels women alays eat up? In it, guy grabs girl by her hairs and passionately kisses her in the middle of the street…
Women want that in real life too! So don’t be a wuss, do something good: if you know she’s interested, stop her in the middle of the street, gently lay your hand on the back of her head and kiss her.
Won’t she be suprised Dennis? Yes she will, but it’s a pleasant surprise my friend you should take the lead more, be more dominant…

четверг, 9 января 2020 г.

How to Pull Off the Perfect First Date At Mississippi Backpage Site

Let’s face it: Nothing can be quite as daunting as going on a first backpage date with the Mississippi girl of your dreams. It’s like you’re back in junior high again and you’re desperately thinking about the best ways to make a slamming good impression.

Well, fear not our fellow men. Today, we’re going to pull out all the stops to make your first date as perfect as possible. Hopefully by the end of this guide, first backpage dates won’t be too much of a rocket science.

1. Clean up nicely

Whether it’s going to be a walk in the park or a dinner for two in Momofuku Ko, dress well. Ditch the baggy pants and long shirts and just show her you can take care of yourself. Rolled up long sleeve shirts is a nice casual touch and a perfectly fitting suit is enough to sweep her off her feet. So do us all a favor and clean up nicely.

2. Ask her before taking the lead

For the most part, you’re going to be in charge but it doesn’t hurt to ask her what she wants. Although, if she does seem uneasy deciding, don’t hesitate to step up. Help her order when she’s fidgeting or foot the bill when you sense her waiting.

Just don’t appear as if you’re running the entire show. You want to make it feel like the two of you are doing this together.

3. Save the sexual compliments for later

Every decent Mississippi man should know that women are to be treated with respect. If you want to compliment her for dressing up nicely for your first backpage date, tell her she’s ‘beautiful’ instead of ‘smokin’ hot’.

If you take the right steps, who knows? Maybe that sexual compliment can be used a little later.

4. No, chivalry is NOT dead!

Yes, gender equality is at its peak but it never hurts to open the door, pull the chair or allow her to order first. If there’s one thing the ladies like, it’s old school care and mindfulness. So even if you’re dating an independent Mississippi woman, leave her the impression that you’re a gentleman.

5. Follow up… but don’t be pushy

That three-day rule is B.S. If you had an unforgettable time with her, let her know right away but remember: Don’t push it too hard. You might be squeezing too much from her just to make yourself believe you pulled it off. It should just come naturally.

That wasn’t too hard, was it? Now go out there and make us proud!

вторник, 7 января 2020 г.

We’re like crystal

We can fall in love many times in our life. And we can also get our heart broken many times. Love can happen very quickly, when we expect it the least. And because love is quick to happen, it is also very fragile.

Once, I had a conversation with one of my high school friends about the couples we know who got together in high school. He said that we already know at that age if we’re with the right person or not. “Everything is pretty much set at that age” he said.
High school is probably the place where we fall in love easily and just like that, it’s over and we’re on to the next. At that age, it’s much more simple than later. Every one is single or wants to be single and there’s plenty of choice. Later, it gets a little more complicated. So, how could we know then we’re with the right person?
Back then, I was in love with one of my classmates. But I didn’t think at the time he would be the man of my life. And the truth is now, I don’t love him anymore. We changed, and we grew up. I didn’t think I could spend the rest of my life with him. This is not obvious at all.
Some say that if we think we can spend the rest of our life with the person we love, then, we know we have found the right one. But this means that we should know what kind of life we want to have in the future. In these uncertain times, it’s a difficult question to answer. But we may have an idea, though.
When I was in high school, I already knew I wanted to be a journalist. I also knew that I would never accept to be a housewife, depending only on my husband’ s financial means. I didn’t know if I wanted to get married someday, unlike some of my female classmates.
I guess it depends on what’s important to us. A friend of mine knew her man was the one when she had to spend two weeks in hospital because of a severe illness. “He was there every day and brought me a lot of books, chocolate, cupcakes,… everything I like. None of my previous boyfriends would have cared so much. I just knew I found the right guy” she said.
I guess it also depends on our ability to create an emotional bond with the one we love.