Moslitski

четверг, 11 марта 2021 г.

We Need to Talk

Just because the blog is titled A Good Husband doesn’t necessarily mean that I am that all of the time. Even the best of men can fall down and make a mess of things.

Sometimes it’s easy, after marriage has been going smoothly for a while, to become lax. How many guys dread hearing, “We need to talk?” It’s amazing how oblivious I can be about where my marriage is at in the eyes and heart of my wife. I think, and hope for my sake, that many men can identify with this feeling.

If “We Need to Talk” is a surprise to you, then that’s a warning sign. Just because you don’t think the relationship needs work, that doesn’t mean it doesn’t. I’ve found that a wife can figuratively beat her head against the wall trying to get something across to her husband - and he can one day hear it and say to her, “Well why didn’t you tell me you felt this way before?”

I’ve done myself, my marriage, and all of you a disservice. When I started writing, it was with a passion for improving my marriage. As I wrote, many things seemed to resonate with people and this site started to become popular. The allure of popularity is strong. Twitter and other social media sites made me feel like I was really getting better at marriage - when really, all I was doing was becoming a moderately well known blogger.
Becoming a well known blogger is not what makes a good husband. Improving yourself and caring for your wife make you a good husband.

Daily care, devotion, and attention to her feelings - that’s what makes a good husband.

Validating her feelings - making sure she knows that you care about what she thinks and feels - is more important than being right or winning.

She cares a great deal for you, and feeling rejected or belittled makes her feel ill.

Femininity is different than masculinity, and that’s a good thing.

Husbands, when your wife says We Need to Talk, please listen.

All husbands are interested in skipping foreplay, right?

There are hundreds of thousands of husbands the world over who make it regular practice to get out of their own way. One of the biggest traps that husbands can fall into is being too prideful to realize when it’s time to make it about what your wife needs, not about what you want.

A friend of mine and I were talking one day and he told me that he had this great evening planned where he was going to have a guitar lesson and then go race remote control cars. Sounds like a great evening for guys, right? I talked to him the next day and he told me that he ended up canceling the whole evening. When I asked him why, he told me that his wife (who, by the way had her fabulous Nerdy Alphabet artwork featured on Arts Afire) had a bad evening and needed to be picked up. So he just canceled his plans, just like that, to be with her.

Last night when I got home, my wife was knee deep in the middle of writing her final paper for one of her college classes. She’s been sick for a week, so it was extra stress, and our apartment was a mess. Without being asked I decided to clean up. I threw out the trash & the mounds of used tissue, put away the clean & dirty clothes, organized the papers and books, and swept the floor. It wasn’t much, but it made a huge difference in our stress level. Then I left her alone to finish her paperwork.

I updated my Facebook status to say, “Cory is a Tidy Husband.” One of my friends (a guy) asked what that meant, if that had something to do with Kitty Litter? One of my other friends (a girl) gave a rather terse reply saying that it meant that I put away my socks and didn’t act like it was doing my wife a favor.

The difference between the way men and women think, right?

Husbands, do yourselves and your marriage a favor, and get out of your own way. These little acts of service are what marriage is all about. Oh, yeah, and I’ve heard a lot of women say that it’s the best kind of foreplay.

A Good Husband’s Habits

Can parents be lovers too when teenagers are in the house?

Grandmother wants to spend time alone with her grandson who is now part of a new blended family

Son is Not Welcomed in New Husband's Family

Custody of a Troubled Teenager

My Husband Doesn't Trust Me

My Wife Has a Problem With Intimacy

Ex-wife and ex-husband do not agree on daughter's boyfriend

Kids of Interracial and Gay Marriages

It’s A Great Time To Be Single

How to Attract Better Men on Criglist

10 Pieces of Marriage Advice from Don Draper

Signs of a Cheating Husband

It’s unfortunate, but cheating husbands are a reality, and it seems like it’s more permissible now than it ever was to cheat on your spouse.

1. Admit that it’s possible. If you’ve found this page via a search engine, you may already be ready to admit this. If not, then you need to realize that you will probably find any reason to justify your husband’s actions until you can admit that it’s possible for him to cheat.

2. Observe personal behavioral changes. Has your husband suddenly developed an interest in finer clothes, better restaurants, and new activities, and he can’t explain where this interest came from? Has he picked up a new cologne that you didn’t recommend?

3. Working extra hours. Many guys work extra hours, but if his schedule suddenly changes and he is unspecific about what the extra hours entail, then you could have a problem. Extra trips and extra business lunches and dinners can also be a warning sign. If all of the extra hours aren’t adding up to extra pay or extra responsibility (i.e. a promotion), then that could be a warning sign.

4. Observe relationship changes. Was your husband affectionate before and suddenly he stopped? Is he suddenly more affectionate than before? He could be acting out guilt over the affair. Is he ignoring you or stopping conversations short for no apparent reason? Does he appear distracted or is he picking fights?

5. Check the tech. Computers and cellphones leave trails. Check browser histories to see if your husband is visiting dating sites or unknown email addresses. Check cellphone call histories and see if there are repeated calls by numbers you don’t recognize.

6. Reality check. Are you finding hair that isn’t yours? Lipstick? Perfume scents? Collect the evidence and keep a log of it.

The best thing you can do for yourself and your husband is keep a cool head. Jobs ebb and flow in responsibility. Marriage relationships change in their emotional dynamic. Men can develop late life interest in looking better or discovering new hobbies. Just because there is change or challenges, that doesn’t necessarily indicate an affair.

Cheating also don’t necessarily have to mean the end of your marriage. You can recover from an affair, although it can be long and difficult. Marriage is sacred and special, and if your cheating spouse is willing to admit their mistakes and make it work, you can have a long, happy marriage afterward.

I’d love to hear from couples who have recovered from infidelity, or from anyone who knows couples who have been able to put their marriages back together. Leave a comment below or send an email

Related Resources:

My husband always gets his own way

What it takes to be a good lover

I have taken my wife for granted

I'm a very critical person

Moving to another country was a mistake

Physical therapist gets too close

My boyfriend is too close to a female friend

My Husband Flirts With Oher Women

среда, 3 февраля 2021 г.

Love My Hair Or Whip It?

Have you seen the two music videos, featuring pre-pubescent black children, tearing up the Net this week? The first, Sesame Street’s “I Love My Hair,” is a confidence-boosting diddy sung by a black puppet girl who adores all the cool things her kinky hair can do.

The second, “Whip My r,” shows actor Will Smith’s nine-year-old daughter Willow as a sexy, vamped up badass whipping her super stylish hair back n’ forth whilst singing about keepin’ the party jumpin’.

I wonder which video little girls will pay more attention to. The cute lesson in self-esteem or the glittery display of grownup sassiness filmed with ADD-inducing cutaways and designer outfits. Will they be more dazzled by the gorgeous offspring of mega-famous movie stars or a chunk of foam with some guy’s hand shoved up its butt?

I also wonder why Willow Smith is so dead set on whipping her hair back and forth. There must be more riveting ways to keep a party jumpin’. Perhaps a piñata or a hearty game of kickball. And what kind of party is a nine-year-old jumpin’ at anyway? Isn’t there a clown? Rides on miniature horses? Surely, there’s no need for any whipping.

See, I’m a bit nervous we’re all a bunch of weirdoes turning our kids into sex kittens and badasses. And man oh man, does Willow Smith do a grand job of posing as a stylish, no-nonsense adult female, a kind of pint-sized Rihanna. If only my mother taught me how to scowl and wear makeup like a rock star, I wouldn’t have spent my adolescence climbing trees and coloring in coloring books. Man, was I robbed.

I mean, they are marketing Willow’s video to kids, right? They couldn’t possibly expect an adult to get off on music performed by someone her age. Nine-year-olds don’t make me want to get my groove on at some jumpin’ party. Nine-year-olds make me want to read bedtime stories and serve Hawaiian Punch. I want to pinch their cheeks, not grind them on the dance floor.

Still, the tune is darn catchy. In fact, I’d pay a million dollars to anyone who could stop “Whip My Hair” from embedding itself into their brain after the first listen. Go ahead, I dare you. Maybe it’ll get rid of the Lady Gaga song you’ve had in your head since last Christmas.

Just the other day, I was sitting on the subway staring at a woman whose long, flaxen mane cascaded in waves to her hips. Her boyfriend adoringly ran his fingers through it as if fondling ribbons of the finest silk. The sight reminded me of being a little girl wearing a turtleneck on my head, fantasizing I was a pretty white lady and the shirt was my long, luxurious blonde hair. I imagined Sesame Street having released “I Love My Hair” in time for kid me to see it. Maybe I wouldn’t be sitting on a subway train decades later envying my straight-haired co-passengers.

But what if a brash little girl my age with hair like mine, like Willow Smith, had become a star with a song about “keeping [her] head up?” And what if in the song, her black hair was a symbol of pride and rebellion? A raised fist, so to speak.

Part of me thinks a kid acting like a feisty grownup at a mere nine years old is creepy, especially compared to Sesame Street’s wholesomeness. But there’s another part of me thinking it’s friggin’ awesome. Guess I’d have little girls whipping their hair back and forth rather than covering it with turtlenecks.

So, as the kids say nowadays, “Willow…you go, girl.”

четверг, 24 декабря 2020 г.

Dating Tips For Geeks

So let’s say you live in a highly metropolitan area. No matter what your custom search, you just wind up with tons upon tons of ladies. Or, maybe you don’t want to limit yourself with categories like body type or religion, and again, you’ve got pages upon pages of prospects. How do you weed out the girls who would have nothing to do with geeks, but leave the ones that are geek girls themselves?

You can do just-for-fun keyword searches, of course! Some of these might not be your own personal interests, but if girls like these, they might have other interests that coincide with yours.

Geek

Now, not every person with similar interests is necessarily going to proclaim themselves a geek, much less on their profile. However, many of them do, or they say they’re looking for a geek guy. Hence, the word “geek” is a great start.

Star Trek / Star Wars

For many people, this is less an entertaining TV show or movie, and more a way of life. These aren’t necessarily recent, but you’re more likely to find people who will mention these than, say, Dune (though I’ve seen Dune listed, I swear).

Galactica

Basically, it’s the most recent cult sf show, so it has a good chance of being listed. If you really like an older show like Sliders, it has less of a chance of being listed – but people who like Galactica might like older sf shows.

Whedon/Buffy/Firefly

What does it say about a person if they like Joss Whedon shows? What does it say if they like them so much they mention him by name? Lots!

Gamer

If a girl calls herself a gamer, chances are she means it. Unless she’s really, really confused, and means player.

RPG

This can mean many things, but mentioning it at all means it’s worth a look.

Anime / Otaku

In my experience, people who have an interest in anime also tend to have interests in sf, or fantasy, or both. Cosplayers might have started out as tabletop gamers, and vice-versa.

This is just a small sampling of what you can come up with. When doing searches of any kind, I like going as broad as possible, and then narrowing, just so there’s no lost opportunities – and that applies to geeks, too! Just because you’re one flavor of geek doesn’t mean you can’t search for all kinds – there’s much more crossover than you might think!

Happy hunting!

Действительно ли Вы Хотите Замуж за Иностранца…
Какой Шанс Успешно Выйти Замуж за Иностранца?
Советы По Заполнению Анкеты на Сайте Знакомств
Бесплатные Знакомства c Иностранцами
How to Get or Find a Girlfriend
6 Tips to Help You Get Your Ex Back
How to Find a Husband
How to Find or Get a Boyfriend
A Disabled Single Can Find Love Online
How to Find True Love and Soul Mate
Find Friends On Dating Disabled People Communities
Show Love And Affection - Win A Russian Girl As Your Bride
Tips And Information On Dating Disabled Online
Six Girlfriends You Don't Want
Interreligious Dating Problems
Valentine’s Day Survival Guide

среда, 23 декабря 2020 г.

Do I Need a Job to Find a Girlfriend?

Short answer: no, but you need a job to keep a girlfriend.

That’s not exactly true, of course. Money is not everything and should definitely not be a factor in choosing a mate. Many women do not care about a man’s salary or what possible gifts he can give to her. That is a great quality to look for in a woman—and a potential girlfriend: the lack of superficial values. However, there are lots of reasons why you do need a job to keep a girlfriend.

Quite simply, a job shows that you work for your money. You are not a spoiled brat living off a trust fund. You are not mooching off of your parents. You pay for your own living expenses, handle your debts, and hopefully, even save for a rainy day. This shows you possess the basest form of adult responsibility to a woman.

A job shows a woman that you have ambitions or career goals. Maybe your current job as a grocery store cashier isn’t your life’s dream…but it could be that you are gaining experience to become a storeowner yourself someday. Dreams very rarely come true without a little work on your part. A woman with goals of her own will likely be put off by a man who appears to drift through life aimlessly.

Maybe you’ve been working at your current job for five months—or maybe five years. Either way, this is a way for a woman to gauge your stability (and to even use it as a relationship gauge). What is your work history like? Do you have a history of one-month-long assignments before you were fired? Did you quit as soon as the job lost its appeal or got too hard? If so, that may send up a red flag to a woman who is looking for commitment. How will she know you will stick out a relationship if you can’t even stick out a job?

Finally, a job shows that you’re capable. You’re capable of taking care of yourself, of keeping a job, of carrying yourself as a mature adult. This is especially important if you hope to one day get married, have a family with this woman, to buy a house. If you don’t even work, how will you achieve these milestones? Moreover, a job displays your skill set, what you’re good at. Productive skills are hard to find in the guy who lays around his parents’ basement all day.

More concretely (and with the near future in mind), without a job you will likely be short of cash at any given time. What will you do on dates? What if your new girlfriend wants to go bowling, but you’re broke? How will you celebrate her birthday? While money is certainly not essential to finding love, a boyfriend who either forces you to pay for him or holds you back from participating in fun activities is bound to become a burden very quickly.

Who Goes In Your Dating Profile

Witty Dating Profiles

Choosing a Good Online Dating Username

How To Overcome the Fear of Internet Dating

Tips & Tricks for Great Online Dating Portraits

How to Survive Online Dating without a Profile Picture

Dressing for the First Few Dates

Kuwait Free Dating

Put Sexploration to Work!

Dealing With Relationship Disaster

When Issues of Gender Cause Dating Confusion

Spanish Single Men

понедельник, 21 сентября 2020 г.

How To Break Up And How To Deal With It

Breaking up is rotten, it doesn’t matter how it happened, you did it, she did it, it’s still a b**ch. I’ve been asked to do a break-up article so often that I felt it was time to do it. This article will teach you how to break up with her but also how to deal with it (regardless of who dumped who).

How To Break Up

First of all NEVER jump into a relationship. As previously discussed in the “how to date multiple women” article, it’s important to establish things from the very beginning, meaning that if you don’t want a relationship YOU should tell her.

Even if you do this to the best of your knowledge, or avoided it because you just wanted to sleep with her (by telling her anything she wanted to hear) you’ll see that the woman starts to get emotional involved. Sadly, if that happens it’s impossible to break up with her without hurting her feelings.

This could be viewed as the ending of an emotional relationship, meaning it would be impossible without hurting someone emotionally.

So let’s say that she’s starting to fall in love with you and you aren’t really feeling it. The most important thing that you can do is to tell her what you feel. Just tell her that you don’t want to be serious and that you don’t feel the same way. It’s going to hurt her regardless how you do it, but at least this way you’re being honest and she’s going to respect you for that. Often enough you’ll even see her turning into a f**k buddy, but you’ll also see another one leaving because she just can’t take the pain.

Another important thing is that when you say it, she won’t really believe you because you’re not actually DOING IT. You might tell her that you don’t want a relationship at the moment but she won’t leave you and soon enough you’ll find yourself in all sorts of boyfriend situations (come meet my parents, come hang out with my friends etc).

What’s important to remember here is that you need to DO what you claim to feel. It doesn’t matter that you don’t want a relationship, if you act like a boyfriend she’s going to get really upset that “you’re not her boyfriend”. If you don’t act like one, she won’t have anything to complain about.

When it comes to breaking up and keeping women for casual sex there’s 2 very important things that you need to remember. Be absolutely honest and open and make sure you back up your words with actions.

How To Deal With It

This can happen to all of us. It has happened to me and it’s going to happen to men all over the world. If you had an emotional involvement into a relationship, dealing with a break-up is always going to be hard. It will be especially hard if you get dumped but even if you break-up with her (for whatever reason) and you were emotionally involved, it’s still going to hurt like hell.

This is one of the moments where you can thank God (or any other deity) that you are a man and not a woman. Having a logical brain (and not emotional, like women) means that you can deal with this much faster and easier that any women could ever do.

First thing you need to realize and keep repeating to yourself is that IT’S GOING TO BE OK. It’s not the end of the world, she wasn’t the only girl on this planet, you got her, you can get thousands more, you’ll be fine. As soon as you’ve got that down into your head, you’re already half way there.

Now, coming back to why you should be happy that you’re a man is because your brain has the outstanding capability to think and do whatever you want it to do. This means that in order to get over a break-up efficiently, you need to concentrate your brain on anything else but her and the relationship.

You can do this because you’re a man and here are a few things TO do in order to keep your mind away from all the pain and suffering.

DO NOT have rebound sex!

That’s right, contrary to the popular belief that the best remedy is the rebound girl, I honestly believe that will do more worse than good and here’s why. Let’s say you manage to get your mind of her and the relationship, if you go out, meet a new girl and have sex with her, you’re much more prone to remembering what you had with the other one etc.

This can have devastating consequences as being so emotionally damaged; you could actually start another relationship just out of stupidity. Also, you might get rejected a lot because you’re already under emotional stress (very bad for your game) and that’s going to depress you even more.

So, best thing to do is to give to yourself a FEW weeks or even ONE MONTH if the relationship was serious. Take time for yourself. Learn to enjoy time by yourself, listen to your favorite music, do the things you couldn’t do in the relationship and embrace this change. Soon you’ll realize that it’s no big deal and things will be fine.

Exercise is great for your mind

Another great thing that keeps your mind of things is exercise. Studies have shown that people who exercise process negative emotions faster and are depressed for far shorter spans of time. So, going to the gym and working out will not only take your mind of her but it will also help speed things up.

This happens because exercise will speed up your metabolism which also speeds up emotional recovery. Plus, working out releases endorphins into your brain which makes you feel good making it an even better remedy for break-ups.

Work – A LOT!

This may sound bad but believe me it isn’t. As previously mentioned, men’s brains have the capability to ban certain thoughts at will. This also makes us crap at multitasking but that’s a different problem.

If you focus your mind ON work, work is the only thing you think about. If you only think about work, you won’t think about her anymore. This is not a long term solution but its fantastic way to get over those first few weeks. You’re basically channeling those negative emotions into something productive.

It doesn’t have to be work, it can also be your hobbies or whatever else keeps your mind occupied. I personally have a tendency to work incredibly long hours when I’m depressed and as shocking as this may seem I come up with fantastic results that make me feel a lot better about myself and life in general.

If you’ve been dumped this is the best thing you can do. Turn all those negative feelings into MOTIVATION. Say something like “I’m going to make so much money/look so great that will make her soo jealous” – this will eventually start as doing it for her but will soon turn into you realizing what you’ve accomplished and taking advantage of it and improving your life (not to mention, FORGETTING about that chick that didn’t know how to appreciate you).

Turn your pain and suffering into your own success.

Camp at your friends

Another great break-up remedy is your friends. Hanging out with your friends will immediately make you feel better and forget about her as long as you are with them. When you’re in a relationship you don’t get AS much time with your friends, so breaking up is a fantastic way to get back to that.

When I say be with your friends, I’m not referring to going out in clubs and hooking up with women, go to their house, relax, laugh, play video games, watch sports, do sports, drink beer and generally have a good time. You will find that your friends are the best remedy and fastest way to ease that pain.

https://blog.loveawake.com/2020/09/21/how-to-stop-caring-what-others-think-of-you/

https://blog.loveawake.com/2020/09/21/the-big-mistake-men-make-when-giving/

https://blog.loveawake.com/2020/09/21/what-should-you-do-when-people-dont-like-you/

https://blog.loveawake.com/2020/09/21/dating-advice-and-skepticism/

https://blog.loveawake.com/2020/09/21/the-4-things-that-count-in-a-mans-life/

https://blog.loveawake.com/2020/09/21/why-she-treated-her-ex-better-than-she-treats-you/

https://blog.loveawake.com/2020/09/21/why-pick-up-lines-dont-work-and-never-will/

https://blog.loveawake.com/2020/09/21/23-turn-offs-that-scare-women-away/

https://blog.loveawake.com/2020/09/21/how-to-be-more-confident-and-have-tight-inner-game/

https://blog.loveawake.com/2020/09/21/how-to-get-younger-women-age-18-22/

https://blog.loveawake.com/2020/09/21/10-untrue-myths-about-women/

https://blog.loveawake.com/2020/09/21/10-reasons-why-online-dating-is-still-worth-considering/

четверг, 17 сентября 2020 г.

Re-Writing Our History

If you haven't noticed I've somewhat retired from this blog. I feel that it is time, for everyone, to move on. I also feel that I've pretty much said everything that can be said on this subject. My long time readers will also note that I make it a point to NOT discuss black men on this forum. They aren't part of this equation. However, I have noticed a relatively recent, disturbing trend that I cannot ignore.

I want to talk about what I'm observing because I want to make it known and I want others to be cognizant of it when they see it happening. This way people cannot say that they didn't know or weren't warned. This is too important to just pass off. When people can control and manipulate the narrative of YOUR history they can control your future and deny your present.

I will not name or link back to any of the guilty parties because I do not want to give them any more undeserved shine. If you've been on social media for any amount of time you already know who it is that I am talking about. There is a small, but vocal, contingent of DBR and misogynistic African American males that are attempting to re-write the history of the African American woman in this country. They will claim things like:

BW were not raped during slavery. Instead they willingly went along with Massa's sexual proclivities for social and economic gain. The newly popular Bed-Wench stereotype. Also see the Harriet Tubman Sex Tape- Google it yourselves. I've asked people who assert this claim to provide historical evidence of this- as opposed to just talking recklessly. If this were accurate historians and academics would have documented it and it would be easy to reference and point to various documentation, research papers, etc. When asked I've been met with immediate deflection.
The reason for the many mixed race "blacks", mulattoes, and light skinned black people is because BW willingly choose white men during segregation. Rarely, some BW were able to establish relationships and even marriages with WM during that time but most had very little say in the matter.
BW took up Feminism with a fervor that no other woman in America did! Oh really? Yes, there were and are still black women feminists; but lets be real the Feminist movement of the 60s was largely a WW's movement as BW were already doing- out of necessity- what WW were fighting to do. This stems from the idea that Feminism is reason for the downfall of the black family in America.

Among other things.

This is all happening for a reason. These men do not like that their power over BW is waning. They do not want to continue to see the prime resource that they still control- BW's time, energy, and money- going elsewhere or demanding some form of reciprocity in return. Without you they would have nothing and they know it. They know that even though they may put them on a pedestal, other races of women are not going to be down, working, protesting, and marching on their behalf the way BW historically have. They need the narrative to be that BW were never really down for the BM and the black family to begin with. They need people to see BW in a certain light in order to validate their failures, dysfunctions, and choices. They need BW to feel guilty in order to continue the gravy train.

Do not ignore this or pass it off to the side as we've done in the past. Call it out when you see it and correct it when need be. Whoever controls the past also controls the future.

четверг, 11 марта 2021 г.

среда, 3 февраля 2021 г.

четверг, 24 декабря 2020 г.

среда, 23 декабря 2020 г.

понедельник, 21 сентября 2020 г.