How To Date Your New Hampshire Girlfriend’s Sister In Five Steps

There is nothing wrong with dating your girlfriends sister. It’s legal in most countries and if you’re worried about being turned down, statistically, 87 % of all women in the US under the age of 35 would say yes if you do it right ( MNJOASW*, 2008). So, now that we’ve covered the moral issue, lets get down to business shall we.

• Step One - Be A Straight Shooter

Just keep it simple and ask your girl’s sister to go out with you. Based on the statistic above, if she is 35 or younger, you have 87% chance she’ll agree. This simple line always works: “Hey lets date behind your sister’s back!”. If she hesitates, she’s just worried about her sister finding out. You must swear to her you wont say a word.(Since you’ll probably tell your buddies in the bar, Make sure you swear on her sister- and not your mom). Even if she says yes, you must follow the next four steps.

• Step Two - Be The Bad Backapge Guy

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Girls like that. If she has a dog, you’ll have the perfect opportunity to show her how bad you really are. Prepare a romantic dinner at her place and wait for the dog to bark. When it barks, throw a sharp object at it (which you prepared in advance). Make sure you hit the dog and not the TV set- that can be bad. If you kill the dog by mistake (try not to let this happen), you can always say “ sorry about that honey, but I can make delicious hot dogs HAHA”! This would give you points in two areas, culinary skills and unique sense of humor.

• Step Three - Eat Like A Real Man

Eat with your mouth open and make sure you make clear noises when you chew. This is especially important at family events.

• Step Four- Don’t Pick Up The Tab, It’s A Sign Of Weakness.

Ask her to lend you money from time to time- it shows that you have real guts.

• Step Five- Flirt With Her Best Friend

There is nothing sexier than a man flirting with his girlfriend’s best friend. Based on MBJO**, 79% of women in the US under the age of 42 want a guy to grab their butt in public.

Now that you’ve scored your girlfriend’s sister, you can tell your buddies in the bar. Even if it didn’t work, you can still tell your friends you did it. You can always duplicate your success if she has more than one sister. If she doesn’t, the best friend always has a higher conversion rate of success.

Disclaimer: The writer makes no guarantees for any of this to work. Do not try at home. Not for kids under the age of 12. If you got caught, never admit and blame the sister (something like ” she started”).

* MNJOASW - My neighbor Jeff’s opinion after smoking weed

**MBJO - My brother Joe’s opinion

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