Are you a good catch?
I believe being online is the best way to meet someone. But doing it right means more than just posting an attractive picture and decent profile. You have to make sure there is truth in your advertising.
I have a handsome male client who has been actively trying to meet someone “normal” online. He has some truly entertaining stories. However, the best laugh we shared was when he finally asked, “Is it me? Or are all these girls really crazy?”
The reality is like attracts like. He’s still licking his wounds from a devastating breakup. So the only girls that are attractive to him are the ones who are in some way unavailable. I assume since you’re on this site you present yourself in an eye-catching package. But what do you offer on the inside?
When you can check off these 5 suggestions you will truly be a good catch:
- Unpack your baggage – All your past relationships that didn’t work out have one thing in common – you. Be honest with yourself. Candidly evaluate your previous participation and behavior. Taking responsibility for your mistakes will prevent you from repeating bad behavior in your next relationship. You have nothing to learn if you blame.
- Make sure you’re ready – Are you capable of staying present and enjoying what’s happening in front of you without comparing it to someone or something else? If your thoughts frequently retreat to memories of a former love then you’re not ready to date yet.
- Know what you want – Are you ready to make a commitment and share your life with a partner? That means being ready to compromise and sometimes making sacrifices. If that sounds scary to you then be honest. Make it clear you are just looking to have fun and spend some quality time with someone interesting.
- Have something to offer – Are you interesting? When asked what you like to do can you talk about your activities positively? Or are you always waiting for a partner to do things with? Don’t define yourself by who you date. Remember, like attracts like. If you have a full, exciting life you’ll attract a better companion.
- Think positively – What is your internal dialogue telling you? Are you 100% supportive and compassionate? Or are you tough, demanding and critical of you? You are what you think you are. And energy is contagious. So whatever you’re thinking or feeling about yourself on the inside is what you’re portraying on the outside. Be nice to yourself. Others will be nice to you too.
As with most things I realize some of the above recommendations are easier said than done. If anything in particular seems difficult or you take real aversion to something that’s an indicator you need to do some work around it. But you are not alone. I’m here to help.
Reprinted with
permission from Loveawake. Want more singles chat rooms?
Melbourne Chat Room https://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/Australia/Victoria/city-of-Melbourne.html?page=15
Newcastle Chat Room https://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/Australia/New-South-Wales/city-of-Newcastle.html?page=15
Dandenong Chat Room https://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/Australia/Victoria/city-of-Dandenong.html?page=15
Geelong Chat Room https://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/Australia/Victoria/city-of-Geelong.html?page=15
Rockhampton Chat Room https://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/Australia/Queensland/city-of-Rockhampton.html?page=15
Splitting the Bill – The 60/40 Method
I always get the question of who should pay for dinner on dates. From what I’ve seen and heard, the 60/40 split is what usually works best. This means that the guy covers the “bigger” purchases (dinners, show tickets) and the girl pays for the “smaller” purchases (cab rides, tip).
The 60/40 split addresses many of the problems found in the traditional 100/0 split or the modern 50/50 by offering the right balance of tradition and gender equality:
Problems with 100/0
Reduces value of the woman; supports outdated notion of subordination
May make woman feel like she “owes” man something in return
Often unsustainable… (unless guy is filthy rich)
Problems with 50/50
Emasculating
May lead to calculation overload and resentment… “well… you paid for x and y, but I paid for z, so to make it even, i think you should pay for this one”
Obviously, the 60/40 would not apply to dates where two people are highly polarized either in income, status (celeb dating a pedestrian), or age. Oh yeah, and the guy should pay for the first date (unless the date was a complete disaster).
Now, what happens when you date a super hot girl and she never offers to pay. It’s very common. Hot girls are used to not paying for anything and frankly, they think that gracing you with their presence in public is payment enough. So, you gotta ask yourself if this is the type of girl you want to be dating and if so, pick up that extra side job and pay for your trophy!
Lastly, there’s nothing less sexy than hearing the words “I’m so broke”. I know it’s a recession, but we don’t want to hear about your financial woes. If you can’t pay for even your half of the date, don’t ask us out. Simple.