Ask a Pick-up Artist: How to Pickup Girls In Class

 

Hey guys – I’m pleased to announce the introduction of a new section:  Ask a Pick-up Artist.  Each week we’ll be reaching into our mailbag and answering a question sent in by one of our readers.  For details on how to submit a question, see the bottom of this post.

I’m in college right now and I’m studying pickup.  I’ve been using it around at parties and pubs, but I don’t know how to do this stuff in class.  When I think about it, I freeze.  Can you give me some advice on pickup in a college class room?

I think picking up girls in class actually puts a lot of advantages on your side.

First, you have a context to work from – you’re in class together.  You go to the same school.  So as far as context is concerned, you have all the reason in the world to talk to them.

Plus, depending on the classes you’re taking, you probably have a good amount of women to choose from.  This is less often the case for engineers, but I would imagine you at least have some women to choose from if you’re asking this question.

I think one of the things that can contribute to the “freeze up” effect is when you fixate on a particular girl in the class and want to cook up a scheme to pick her up.

Approaching pick-up with this mindset can work against you since it’s very easy to start attaching meaning to the success or failure of the interaction.

In fact, one of my big traps with pick-up was the sense that I wasn’t “prepared” to do it correctly.  So instead of just trying stuff and improving as I went along, I would keep telling myself I needed more preparation and spent my time studying pick-up instead of trying it.

Some things to keep in mind about the classroom:  It’s a social environment.  People see other people and how they act, hold themselves, etc.

So being relaxed and having good body language in the class room would be helpful.

You do need to make sure your body language is relaxed and comfortable though.  I knew this one guy who studied body language and he had read that it was good to “take up space”.

So this guy was sitting in a seminar room, completely sprawled out and taking up as much space as possible.  Only problem was he looking incredibly uncomfortable doing it – it was as if he had an invisible gun to his head and was told he needed to take up as much space as possible “or else”….

But if you can adopt being comfortable in your own space without being over-the-top, it will help.

The next thing to consider is what it would be like to be social in class.  If your status quo is to walk in, sit at a desk and isolate yourself from everyone, then it’s no wonder that you would freeze up when you want to talk to a girl in class:  It’s completely against your habits and standard way of acting.

If that connects with how you are in class, I would encourage you to broaden your scope beyond being successful at pick-up in class to being social in class.  Talk to girls.  Talk to guys.  Talk to everyone you’re sitting around and strike up conversations with everyone and anyone before and after class.

There are many side advantages to this:  You’ll meet people.  You may get invited to parties.  You may make friends with someone who is just a great person to be around (girl or guy).  And that friend might have hot girl friends, which is always a plus.

But the biggest benefits (from a pick-up perspective) is that you will get used to socializing in class as your standard way of being.  Plus, others will observe you as a social guy, so when you approach them and talk to them they’ll recognize your actions as “social” and not as an unusual break in your habits.

Another thing to consider is that your conversations can be just little snippets of conversation.  Maybe you only talk to any one person for 2 or 3 sentences of interchange, but you spoke to 5 or 6 people in class that day.  Next time you have class together, it will be that much more familiar for you all to talk again.

I wrote a book last year with Legend about pick-up and the dynamics of being a college PUA (through parties) called House Party PUA, where I go deeper into establishing yourself as the social guy and how to translate it into pick-up success.  The book is geared toward throwing your own parties or being successful at other people’s parties (even if you’re not in college).  I think you would be able to apply a lot of what’s in there to your current situation.

Hope it helps,

If you want to know more about how to Pickup Girls In Class, read these amazing in-depth articles:

https://www.soyuz.ru/profile/blog/707

http://muree.psut.edu.jo/Lists/WebsiteSurvey/DispForm.aspx?ID=2251

http://www.juntadeandalucia.es/averroes/centros-tic/21700381/helvia/bitacora/index.cgi?wIdPub=200

http://araiza.sakura.ne.jp/icumessiah/index.php?kiwi

http://wiki.crap.jp/mhf_nazo/index.php?kiwi

http://drill.lovesick.jp/drilldata/index.php?kiwi

http://epp.phys.kyushu-u.ac.jp/~oda/puki/index.php?kiwi

http://eba-www.yokohama-cu.ac.jp/~kook/cgi-bin/seminar/index.php?kiwi

https://comunidadbilingue.educa2.madrid.org/alojamiento-y-trabajo/-/message_boards/message/30369680

https://www.vs.ch/web/forum/forum/-/message_boards/message/8642918

https://www.restituciondetierras.gov.co/foros/-/message_boards/message/1481567

https://www.globethics.net/fr/network/globethics.net-forum/-/message_boards/message/26839394

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http://www.scientix.eu/es_ES/web/scientix-cop-4/topic-1/-/message_boards/message/940959

https://dariah-sg.irb.hr/forum/-/message_boards/message/21143

http://inct.cnpq.br/web/vietnam/home/-/message_boards/message/2800571

https://bbwfreedating.blogspot.com/2020/08/getting-good-with-women-can-be-brutal.html

https://koslitksi.blogspot.com/2020/08/how-i-get-into-state-with-my-wing.html

https://abouemilytjane.blogspot.com/2020/08/sexual-priming-experiment-threesome-i.html

http://www.23hq.com/okcupid/photo/73975016

https://m.allmyfaves.com/index/mobiletab/tabid/1412359

Staying friends with FWB?

 

Hi Guys,

You have really sane and reasonable answers to some of life’s sadder and more confusing issues. I recently broke it off with a FWB (Friends with Benefits). I was developing feelings for him and while he didn’t make it clear that he didn’t have feelings for me, I take it that he would have pursued me if he did. He didn’t.

Is it ever possible to have a friendship in this situation or is it just too awkward for everyone? Am I just kidding myself and hoping that by hanging around he will develop feelings for me? We weren’t really great friends before we hooked up—we had known each other for a while and the timing was right for a fling.

Also, I found out he told his friends about me. My nickname is Amanda “hug n kiss.” (Ouch!) When I mentioned to him that I told my friends about our situation he got defensive and kept saying, “What did you say to them?!” (Just thought you should have this information.)

Thanks. You guys are awesome,

Amanda

Dear Amanda,

It is possible to become friends with an ex-FWB, but we would strongly advise against it in your situation. Why? We don’t think it will be good for your emotional well-being because we don’t see this developing into anything more. Sure, if you hang around for a bit, he might decide he wants to hook up again, but it’s pretty clear from what you’ve said, that he’s not interested in anything more than a FWB.

Can we be brutally honest? (Sorry, but we’re just trying to be supportive. We think you need to hear this.)

He and his friends are making fun of you if they refer to you as Amanda “hug n kiss.” In fact, his friends may even be making fun of him by giving you that moniker. Factor in his strong reaction when he found out you told your friends about him and clearly he is not respecting you. Bottom line Amanda: This is not a healthy situation for you, and will only get worse if you stick around. This is your call, but you need to give this some serious thought. We’re really sorry we couldn’t be more positive.

In general, we’re not fans of FWB arrangements for this very reason. Our advice would be to find a man who loves and respects you and not settle for less.

THE GUYS

If you want to know why it sometimes looks like the alpha male is getting the girl, read these amazing in-depth articles:

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Guys and Pink: A brief history

 GUYS love pink! Yes it’s true. We know most people are under the impression

that pink is a forbidden color for us, but that’s a misconception we’d like to clear up
today.

We’ve had a long and wonderful relationship with Pink since
we were kids. And we plan on nurturing that relationship as long as Pink will
have us. So let’s start from the beginning.

Our love of Pink started when we opened our first pack of
baseball cards. That hard stick of gum
would slide out between the cards to our six year old delight. It usually took at least ten packs to find our favorite players, so that's how many sticks we would end up chewing! It was little boy bliss blowing bubbles and having them pop and stick to our faces!! As you can see, Pink was already beginning to take hold. And little did we know she
would never loosen her grip.

Pink continued her imprint on our “still forming” minds when we made our first
trip to the Town Fair. Even with the two headed cows, the bearded lady and the
smallest deer in the world, our fondest memory was sucking down Cotton Candy until
it made us sick. We were amazed, and still are today, at how that
wonderful sticky, Pink thread would shrink twenty times its original size as soon as it came in contact with our mouths. To us, that’s still one of the marvels of the
modern world. And for that, we give all the credit to our love, Pink.

During the rest of our childhood, we encountered Pink in
many more shapes and sizes.

Pink Lemonade

Pink Erasers

Pink Rubber Bands for shooting

Pink Bows on our first crushes

All of these things just added to our love for Pink.

But what about now? Yes, our love continues, but now as adults our relationship with
Pink is much more complicated.

Let's look at clothes for example. Wearing pink is a risky venture at best. It CAN be pulled off, but only
if it's done exactly right. In this case, Pink needs to take a back seat and become
an accessory. That means it’s part of a cast in which it is clearly a
role player. Cool jackets and ties get top billing and Pink provides the backdrop so the rest of the ensemble shines. Why don't more GUYS attempt this? Because only the
confident GUY can make it work. That would be us!(We hope!)

So where else does Pink play a role in a GUY’s life?  It’s a very easy and obvious answer: WOMEN.

Women and Pink are truly one entity and we love them both.

When a women blushes her cheeks turn Pink(not red) and then we know we might
have a chance.

When she wears the color Pink we marvel at how it makes her so feminine……in all the good ways.

When we picture her beautiful Pink lips kissing ours, we
shudder with anticipation. 

When we……hold on, hold on……we'll stop before we get ourselves too worked up….you get the picture.

So to sum up. Pink may be the most relevant color in our lives and we will always love her, as long as she'll have us.

THE GUYS

ps And if for some reason, Pink rejects US, we’ll be over in the corner eating fat, juicy steaks with
the tender, juicy PINK middle. 

What color does it for you and why? Please leave us a comment. We hope to be inviting guests for next week.

Sources:

Ako sa držať za ruky s dievčaťom

Ako získať viac skúseností so ženami

Ako dostať svoju priateľku k oblečeniu

The Psychology of Hats

We're gearing up for a camping trip this weekend. This is the relaxed kind of camping, where there's actually a bathroom a hundred feet from our site. No need to be a hero. Some of the hard core GUYS think we're total wimps, but we just want to have a good time. That includes having the car NEXT to the site in case it starts pouring. And other amenities too. Like the ability to LEAVE the campsite and eat a good meal out, in case we can't get the fire started.

But since we're going to be in the great outdoors we thought it appropriate to talk about hats today. OK, not the greatest segue, but here goes anyway.

Dear Guys,

My boyfriend wears a hat all the time. He wears them when we
go out to a restaurant or to parties. He does look cute in them, but he never
takes them off. And he’s got a bunch of different ones that he rotates. What
should I think about this? Are there other guys like this?

 Monica, North Carolina

 Dear Monica,

Some guys wear hats as a way to create an identity or make a
fashion statement. All of THE GUYS do wear hats, but usually it’s because we
need some protection from the sun, or we’re playing sports, or most likely we
HAVEN’T showered. We’d say generally, wearing a hat is an easy way of dealing
with the day without having to clean ourselves up. We’re hoping that’s not why
your boyfriend wears his. Going weeks without soap is never a good thing.

 Have you brought the subject up at all? If so, what was his

reaction? We say this a lot, but communication is the key. If you’re not sure
how to broach the subject, try starting with a positive. Something like, “You
look so cute in your hats.” “Did you always wear them as a kid?” Get him to
start talking and then ask him about wearing them out with you. And then tell
him you don't love it when he wears them out on a date with you. If he doesn’t like it, well at least he knows where you
stand. You’ll have a much more honest relationship if you talk about this. And
that’s always the best policy in our minds. You know he might think you like
his look since you are dating him. If you tell him otherwise, he may be
happy to leave them at home.

 We just have to ask. Does he really wear them ALL OF

THE TIME?

 THE GUYS

Additional Resources:

TEXT LESS, ROCK MORE DATES

7 CONVERSATION TOPICS THAT RUIN FIRST DATES

THE FAST WAY OUT OF THE FRIEND ZONE

CHRISTIAN ONLINE DATING SITES: WHICH IS RIGHT FOR YOU?

Worst and Best Pickup Lines EVER!

Date Movies to Get You Laid

Over 50 Online Dating: 5 “crucial” tips for success

Black Online Dating: which sites are worth your while?

How People Fall In Love

Single Parent Dating Tips

Online Dating After a Divorce

Can We Control Our Date’s Thoughts?

How to Mingle with the Locals

Why It’s Still Better to Be Manly Than ‘Nice’

Slandering your ex on your personal blog

Should I let him Win?

Online Dating For Widows – when is the right time?

Chivalry Gone Too Far?

Cheap Date Ideas

Do Looks Matter When Dating?

Showing too much love to my younger sister

Thank you for your questions. Please use the form above to ask a question. Remember, if you have a pressing question that needs answering soon, please consider a donation to THE GUYS. (Read above for details) This will move your question to the top of the line. (Answered within 1-3 days) Otherwise your question will go into the general queue which has a 3-5 week delay right now.

For those of you who have donated, thank you. It does take a considerable amount of time to answer your questions thoughtfully and thoroughly.

THE GUYS

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Guys,

I dated this guy for about two years and it ended badly. We’ve always tried to rekindle the flame by hanging out or just simply messing around. One day recently, he came over before I left for a family vacation. We, ya know, messed around and made up for the two weeks of loving we’re going to miss out while I’m home. Turns out, he was lying in my bed, texting my sister and basically flirting with her. He said things such as, “You should come party with me sometime.” He sent her ; -) faces and saying things along the lines of, “If you weren’t Amie’s sister.” Not to mention, this is the SECOND time it has happened.

I cried and cried because here I am, trying to love this guy again and he flirts with my sister while she’s in the next room. Now he’s trying to get back with me. My sister is beyond furious because he did that to me.

What should I do?

Amie

Dear Amie,

Thanks for your question.

It’s pretty disrespectful of him to flirt with your sister, especially while in your bed. (That’s an understatement) We know you care for this guy but do you really think you can trust him? Hasn’t he done this twice now? How can you establish any type of committed relationship with a guy who behaves like this? And it’s not like he’s going to change. We don’t like to tell people what to do, but we think you’re headed down a very difficult road if you continue to hang out with this guy.

Also: Why does he have your sister’s phone number? She sounds innocent here, but you two need to have a conversation and form a united front.

Last thing: Trying to rekindle a relationship is fine, but doing it by “messing around” probably isn’t the best idea. Many guys would view that as a “Friends with Benefits” situation and not feel any other incentive for getting back into a relationship with you. In the future, it’s best to “take it slow” when trying to get back together with someone, or even when you meet a new person. It’s important to get to know the person beyond the bedroom.

Good luck,

THE GUYS

How to Ask About Sex?

 

Dear Readers,

Thanks for your interest. We are trying our best to answer all of your questions as quickly as we can. However, due to the number of questions we receive each day, you can expect to wait about a month before your question gets addressed. And keep in mind, that even though we try, it’s not possible for us to answer every single question.

Also, thanks to those of you who have donated. It does take a considerable amount of time to answer your questions thoughtfully and thoroughly. (Please consider a donation. We have been known to answer those questions quickly.)

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Dear Guys,

Thank you so much for still being here to answer questions! I would love to donate just in general, but I am not able to right now, so whenever you are able to answer will be fine; this is not an emergency. What I need advice on seems like a very touchy issue: How to ask about sex?

I’ve been in a long term relationship—15 years— and our sex life has been fairly consistent with the normal ups and downs. I would be available for it every day if we could, but he has a lot of stress in his work, etc. I have never pushed the issue, but have tried being the one to initiate on occasion, but he’s never responded to that, so I just wait for him, and always let him know how much I enjoy those moments.

However, as of late—meaning the last couple of years—it has become almost a rare event, weeks or months between. And when we do have sex, it’s pretty much just get it done sort of thing, maybe 2-3 minutes. I know he takes Cialis because I came across the bottle about 3 years ago, but he hasn’t said anything about it; and it hasn’t increased anything about our sex life, although he continues to use it. And yes, I am certain he is not seeing anyone else.

I wanted to communicate about the issue, but not sure how to approach it without it offending him or hurting his feelings, as he definitely has that male ego thing. I know there are times that his back is hurting, or other things, but none of those mattered in previous years, and I have offered different positions to help. I know he’s older now, 67, and I’m 52, but I’ve also read so many articles on the importance of maintaining a good sex life from a health perspective as well as for the relationship. And there are times in the morning when he will apologize out of nowhere that he’s sorry he wasn’t feeling up to making love to me, even though it hadn’t been an issue the previous night, so he does seem to be aware of the problem. What would you suggest as the best approach to communicating on this issue, while not wanting to hurt or offend him? Thank you in advance.

CJ

Dear CJ,

Thanks for your question. And no worries on the donation. We still try to answer as many questions as we can, regardless of whether or not a question is accompanied by a donation. (It just takes longer.) Some people give donations because their questions are pressing.

Anyway, you bring up a sensitive topic, especially for guys. As soon as we reach puberty, one of our defining qualities is our overwhelming interest in sex. We do have other interests and goals, but what’s common to all men is how much we think about women and sex. It truly is every 7 seconds, and on some days more.

So you can imagine how a guy might feel when his drive begins to wane. Sure some guys see it as a natural progression, part of entering a new phase of life. But others see it as unsettling at best, possibly embarrassing, and at worst, threatening to their identity as a man. We don’t know exactly where your guy falls into this spectrum but he’s definitely dealing with some of these emotions. So you’re right to tread lightly here.

One other piece of this that strikes us, is your continued, and strong interest in sex. From our experience, a guy’s waning interest in sex often coincides with his partner’s diminishing interest. And it seems to us that this is where your issue lies? You still have a strong desire to be physical—you said you could do it daily—and his libido and  testosterone levels are diminishing. So the goal here is to meet somewhere in the middle, where you will both be happy and satisfied.

You don’t actually mention the frequency of your “sessions” but keep in mind that not many couples have sex daily after being together for a while. In fact it’s hard to say what the average is because the range varies so much.(You can find statistics all over the web. You might be surprised at the frequency, or we should say, lack of frequency of the average couple.) So, for you and your guy, anything regular would be a good place to start. This could be once once a week, once every two weeks, or some other agreed upon interval.

Your instincts are dead on here CJ. There is no easy way to bring this up. He already is in pain over it, so the minute you bring it up he’s going to feel like you’re attacking him, even if you’re not. (He’s already beating himself up over this, and you know this.) So the first order of business is to tell him how much you love him, and how much you’re attracted to him as a man. In fact, the best course of action is to slowly introduce the conversation over the course of many shorter conversations spanning many sessions, instead of having one big “sit down” where you air all your feelings. Maybe begin the conversation after a particularly, or relatively good session. Maybe tell him how great the sex was, and how much you enjoyed being with him, and then ask him what might have been different about that particular day, or time of day, to make him that much more interested. Gauge your follow up comment, or question, by what his response to you is. The good news is you have time. You don’t sound like you’re going anywhere no matter what happens, so this “conversation” can happen over the course of many months, or even longer.

We don’t recommend having a big “talk” because you’re more likely to shut him down. Get him talking when he feels good about himself and the sex. You might be surprised that once the floodgates open he will actually be relieved to start talking about it. And if the conversation feels positive, then also express how you’re feeling—in doses. But remember, we can’t say when exactly you should interject your feelings, issues, needs. That’s up to you. You’ll just have to feel when the time is right. We imagine there will be times where you just listen to him talk. Once you get the conversation going by introducing the topic into your pallete of conversation, you might find that things will begin to change. And at worst, you’ll at least have a better sense of what he’s going through and what to expect out of him. The issue could truly be just about sex, but it also could be something else beneath the surface.

Good luck,

THE GUYS