I
know when people read the above title, they get interested and think that they
hearing some advices, they are better equipped to get a boyfriend or
girlfriend.
The
truth is, anybody who asks that question doesn’t understand anything about
relationships; you aren’t just going to be getting a partner by using pickup
lines, dressing up in the best way that you can and try to appear attractive.
When
I was younger, I received such advices before, and it proves to be more of a
crap than helpful.
I
am sharing this today for one of my friends, who is going after a lady’s heart.
And for those who are in the same situation of pursuing someone’s heart, be it
a guy or a girl, this is definitely for you.
“How to get a
boyfriend/girlfriend?” is a silly question.
You
cannot “get” a boyfriend or girlfriend by taking certain steps or procedures.
Humans are not robots.
I
have seen guys who tried using pickup lines, and asked a lady for her contacts.
Immediately he was rejected. It doesn’t matter what kind of pickup lines, gifts
or methods he used; it is doomed to failure.
Why?
That is because girls and ladies just don’t give their contacts to creeps. If
you do not know them in the first place, you got to have them trust and
establish a good impression of you first, lest they risk themselves to an
unknown stranger.
Similarly,
some girls can be rather direct towards guys too, and in some cases they scare
the guys.
Pickup
lines, gifts and methods just do not work. Instead, understand what truly
attracts you to a girl or a guy, and you will understand that unless you adopt
some traits, mannerisms or attributes, you won’t be able to pursue someone’s
heart easily.
Top most important
tip: Be a person of ‘value’
We
are all attracted to someone that has a great sense of value or worth. What
does that mean?
Some
people just have the looks to attract the opposite gender. And when guys or
girls see them, they immediately feel that this person has a certain sense of
‘value’ in them, and will treat them better than other people.
Similarly,
confident or people with charisma always emit an aura of ‘worth’ and ‘value’,
that impresses us to feel differently amongst the rest. They literally
influence us to act differently towards them to, where we will show greater
respect or politeness than someone else.
You
have to learn to be a person of value to other people, or at least appear as
one,
instead of focusing on ineffective methods and steps in attracting the opposite
gender.
Find
out within yourself what are the traits that make you a person of ‘value’. It
doesn’t necessary have to be skin deep.
What
are the common traits of people who has ‘value’?
1. People who have great looks.
2.
People who have a flair in talking.
3.
People who appear to be interesting, and have experiences in many things.
4.
People who are humorous.
5.
People who are confident.
6.
People who are not men-pleasers; they have a stand of their own and have their
unique set of thinking.
However
they are not weird and out-of-this-world.
7.
People who have a vision in life and are actively pursuing their vision. They
are not all talk only.
8.
A kind and a pleasant personality also attracts.
9.
People who are financially independent, and have the substance to progress
further.
10.
People who are adventurous, outing and sporty; they are not introverted.
11.
People who have a set of great abilities and skills; like playing the guitar or
sing well.
12.
People who are romantic.
13.
People who are presentable in their appearance, and bother to do some personal
grooming.
All
these traits are not ranked according to numbers; they are completely random,
and may differ with different people’s true likings.
However,
these traits are not exactly far off. We must understand that what attracts us
to others, should be similar with what others are to be attracted to us about.
Some tips to appear
like a person of ‘value’…
1.
You must never appear desperate for love before your crush.
You
need to have the capacity to let go, to face the prospect of being rejected and
not appreciated at all.
Those
who do not have this mentality usually have a very rare chance of succeeding.
2.
Never ask for your crush’s contacts if you have not established a good
impression and trust in the first place.
That
is because even if you have your crush’s contacts, your crush can easily ignore
your messages and phone calls; or just ignore you completely if he or she
dislikes you.
So
what’s the point of getting your crush’s contacts if it is going to end this
way? It would have been better if you leave room for more opportunities to
impress, rather than letting your crush dislike you forever.
3.
Only ask for personal contacts from your crush in a suitable situation or
setting.
You
do not want to scare the other party by approaching him or her drastically.
Look
for ways to exchange contacts in a casual way. Supposed you need to go to a
certain event together, and you have asked to arrange a meetup first before
attending the event. There and then you should ask for your crush’s contacts,
and it will not appear threatening to him or her.
There
are many situations where you can ask for contacts casually. Just never ask
directly because it may be a little threatening or it may expose your
intentions too soon for your good.
4.
Even if you have your crush’s contacts, don’t harass him or her by trying to
contact with every slightest point of opportunity.
Otherwise,
you will be labelled as a creep and a stalker, and prepare for the cold
shoulder from your crush in the upcoming days.
Everything
should always be casual, and in a non-threatening manner, to ensure that your
build your impression in your crush subtlety.
5.
You can learn to be confident and sure. If not, just appear confident, but
don’t let anyone find out…
However,
it takes time to develop confidence, and the strength to face the risk of
failures.
Yet
it is one of the best ways to appear like a person of ‘value’.
6.
Never try too hard to impress your crush.
This
comes in many shapes and forms.
Some
people buy expensive gifts to their crush, not knowing that instead of making
the other party feel happy, they feel pressure and obligation instead.
Others
just talk too much to impress.
Don’t
try too hard, it will backfire and you will get a bad impression instead of a
good one instead.
7.
However, just be around your crush and engage him or her subtlety in your
conversations and activities.
There
are alot of ways to engage your crush.
You
can be a little teasing and not be overboard. Or you can always ask questions
and find out more about the other party. Give your views if needed, but always
be more willing to hear than to speak with your crush.
If
you appear too shy towards your crush, it may be mistakenly interpreted as a
lack of confidence towards people.
8.
Expand your horizons in your experiences and thoughts.
A
hermit living in his or her own world is very unlikely to find love.
Go
out, make friends, join activities and have fun! Along the way, you will gain
experience, and accumulate thoughts.
Therefore
if you are able to relate to others your experiences and thoughts, you will
appear interesting instead of boring.
9.
Learn a new skill and adopt a hobby which you enjoy.
People
who are skillful in their area of interest usually look attractive. How many
times are we mesmerized by someone playing the guitar well? Or someone
performing magic or card tricks to us?
However,
my word of advice is to never take up a skill in order to impress the opposite
gender and to get a partner. If your source of motivation is only that
partner, you will burn out easily.
Rather,
find something which you enjoy where you can pick up and learn.
10.
Be ready to give your opinion and views, but do not be overbearing.
People
can sense confidence in your opinions and views, so it is great to be an input
in conversations.
However,
don’t be stubborn in your opinions; give others space, and your crush will
notice the depth of your personality and character.
Other advices to be
continued…
I
have other advices and tips that I do want to share, but this is a long post
and I hope to keep it focused.
I
also do wish to create a series out of this, and if any of you have anything
you want me to share about, do let me know through the comments page below.
So
what do you think? Does pickup lines, gifts and other methods work in getting a
boyfriend or girlfriend?
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