How To Break Up And How To Deal With It

 

Breaking up is rotten, it doesn’t matter how it happened, you did it, she did it, it’s still a b**ch. I’ve been asked to do a break-up article so often that I felt it was time to do it. This article will teach you how to break up with her but also how to deal with it (regardless of who dumped who).

How To Break Up

First of all NEVER jump into a relationship. As previously discussed in the “how to date multiple women” article, it’s important to establish things from the very beginning, meaning that if you don’t want a relationship YOU should tell her.

Even if you do this to the best of your knowledge, or avoided it because you just wanted to sleep with her (by telling her anything she wanted to hear) you’ll see that the woman starts to get emotional involved. Sadly, if that happens it’s impossible to break up with her without hurting her feelings.

This could be viewed as the ending of an emotional relationship, meaning it would be impossible without hurting someone emotionally.

So let’s say that she’s starting to fall in love with you and you aren’t really feeling it. The most important thing that you can do is to tell her what you feel. Just tell her that you don’t want to be serious and that you don’t feel the same way. It’s going to hurt her regardless how you do it, but at least this way you’re being honest and she’s going to respect you for that. Often enough you’ll even see her turning into a f**k buddy, but you’ll also see another one leaving because she just can’t take the pain.

Another important thing is that when you say it, she won’t really believe you because you’re not actually DOING IT. You might tell her that you don’t want a relationship at the moment but she won’t leave you and soon enough you’ll find yourself in all sorts of boyfriend situations (come meet my parents, come hang out with my friends etc).

What’s important to remember here is that you need to DO what you claim to feel. It doesn’t matter that you don’t want a relationship, if you act like a boyfriend she’s going to get really upset that “you’re not her boyfriend”. If you don’t act like one, she won’t have anything to complain about.

When it comes to breaking up and keeping women for casual sex there’s 2 very important things that you need to remember. Be absolutely honest and open and make sure you back up your words with actions.

How To Deal With It

This can happen to all of us. It has happened to me and it’s going to happen to men all over the world. If you had an emotional involvement into a relationship, dealing with a break-up is always going to be hard. It will be especially hard if you get dumped but even if you break-up with her (for whatever reason) and you were emotionally involved, it’s still going to hurt like hell.

This is one of the moments where you can thank God (or any other deity) that you are a man and not a woman. Having a logical brain (and not emotional, like women) means that you can deal with this much faster and easier that any women could ever do.

First thing you need to realize and keep repeating to yourself is that IT’S GOING TO BE OK. It’s not the end of the world, she wasn’t the only girl on this planet, you got her, you can get thousands more, you’ll be fine. As soon as you’ve got that down into your head, you’re already half way there.

Now, coming back to why you should be happy that you’re a man is because your brain has the outstanding capability to think and do whatever you want it to do. This means that in order to get over a break-up efficiently, you need to concentrate your brain on anything else but her and the relationship.

You can do this because you’re a man and here are a few things TO do in order to keep your mind away from all the pain and suffering.

DO NOT have rebound sex!

That’s right, contrary to the popular belief that the best remedy is the rebound girl, I honestly believe that will do more worse than good and here’s why. Let’s say you manage to get your mind of her and the relationship, if you go out, meet a new girl and have sex with her, you’re much more prone to remembering what you had with the other one etc.

This can have devastating consequences as being so emotionally damaged; you could actually start another relationship just out of stupidity. Also, you might get rejected a lot because you’re already under emotional stress (very bad for your game) and that’s going to depress you even more.

So, best thing to do is to give to yourself a FEW weeks or even ONE MONTH if the relationship was serious. Take time for yourself. Learn to enjoy time by yourself, listen to your favorite music, do the things you couldn’t do in the relationship and embrace this change. Soon you’ll realize that it’s no big deal and things will be fine.

Exercise is great for your mind

Another great thing that keeps your mind of things is exercise. Studies have shown that people who exercise process negative emotions faster and are depressed for far shorter spans of time. So, going to the gym and working out will not only take your mind of her but it will also help speed things up.

This happens because exercise will speed up your metabolism which also speeds up emotional recovery. Plus, working out releases endorphins into your brain which makes you feel good making it an even better remedy for break-ups.

Work – A LOT!

This may sound bad but believe me it isn’t. As previously mentioned, men’s brains have the capability to ban certain thoughts at will. This also makes us crap at multitasking but that’s a different problem.

If you focus your mind ON work, work is the only thing you think about. If you only think about work, you won’t think about her anymore. This is not a long term solution but its fantastic way to get over those first few weeks. You’re basically channeling those negative emotions into something productive.

It doesn’t have to be work, it can also be your hobbies or whatever else keeps your mind occupied. I personally have a tendency to work incredibly long hours when I’m depressed and as shocking as this may seem I come up with fantastic results that make me feel a lot better about myself and life in general.

If you’ve been dumped this is the best thing you can do. Turn all those negative feelings into MOTIVATION. Say something like “I’m going to make so much money/look so great that will make her soo jealous” – this will eventually start as doing it for her but will soon turn into you realizing what you’ve accomplished and taking advantage of it and improving your life (not to mention, FORGETTING about that chick that didn’t know how to appreciate you).

Turn your pain and suffering into your own success.

Camp at your friends

Another great break-up remedy is your friends. Hanging out with your friends will immediately make you feel better and forget about her as long as you are with them. When you’re in a relationship you don’t get AS much time with your friends, so breaking up is a fantastic way to get back to that.

When I say be with your friends, I’m not referring to going out in clubs and hooking up with women, go to their house, relax, laugh, play video games, watch sports, do sports, drink beer and generally have a good time. You will find that your friends are the best remedy and fastest way to ease that pain.

Related Articles:

https://blog.loveawake.com/2020/09/21/how-to-stop-caring-what-others-think-of-you/

https://blog.loveawake.com/2020/09/21/the-big-mistake-men-make-when-giving/

https://blog.loveawake.com/2020/09/21/what-should-you-do-when-people-dont-like-you/

https://blog.loveawake.com/2020/09/21/dating-advice-and-skepticism/

https://blog.loveawake.com/2020/09/21/the-4-things-that-count-in-a-mans-life/

https://blog.loveawake.com/2020/09/21/why-she-treated-her-ex-better-than-she-treats-you/

https://blog.loveawake.com/2020/09/21/why-pick-up-lines-dont-work-and-never-will/

https://blog.loveawake.com/2020/09/21/23-turn-offs-that-scare-women-away/

https://blog.loveawake.com/2020/09/21/how-to-be-more-confident-and-have-tight-inner-game/

https://blog.loveawake.com/2020/09/21/how-to-get-younger-women-age-18-22/

https://blog.loveawake.com/2020/09/21/10-untrue-myths-about-women/

https://blog.loveawake.com/2020/09/21/10-reasons-why-online-dating-is-still-worth-considering/

Re-Writing Our History

 If you haven't noticed I've somewhat retired from this blog. I feel that it is time, for everyone, to move on. I also feel that I've pretty much said everything that can be said on this subject. My long time readers will also note that I make it a point to NOT discuss black men on this forum. They aren't part of this equation. However, I have noticed a relatively recent, disturbing trend that I cannot ignore. 

I want to talk about what I'm observing because I want to make it known and I want others to be cognizant of it when they see it happening. This way people cannot say that they didn't know or weren't warned. This is too important to just pass off. When people can control and manipulate the narrative of YOUR history they can control your future and deny your present.  

I will not name or link back to any of the guilty parties because I do not want to give them any more undeserved shine. If you've been on social media for any amount of time you already know who it is that I am talking about. There is a small, but vocal, contingent of DBR and misogynistic African American males that are attempting to re-write the history of the African American woman in this country. They will claim things like:

• BW were not raped during slavery. Instead they willingly went along with Massa's sexual proclivities for social and economic gain. The newly popular Bed-Wench stereotype. Also see the Harriet Tubman Sex Tape- Google it yourselves. I've asked people who assert this claim to provide historical evidence of this- as opposed to just talking recklessly. If this were accurate historians and academics would have documented it and it would be easy to reference and point to various documentation, research papers, etc. When asked I've been met with immediate deflection. 
• The reason for the many mixed race "blacks", mulattoes, and light skinned black people is because BW willingly choose white men during segregation. Rarely, some BW were able to establish relationships and even marriages with WM during that time but most had very little say in the matter. 
• BW took up Feminism with a fervor that no other woman in America did! Oh really? Yes, there were and are still black women feminists; but lets be real the Feminist movement of the 60s was largely a WW's movement as BW were already doing- out of necessity- what WW were fighting to do. This stems from the idea that Feminism is reason for the downfall of the black family in America.

Among other things. 

This is all happening for a reason. These men do not like that their power over BW is waning. They do not want to continue to see the prime resource that they still control- BW's time, energy, and money- going elsewhere or demanding some form of reciprocity in return. Without you they would have nothing and they know it. They know that even though they may put them on a pedestal, other races of women are not going to be down, working, protesting, and marching on their behalf the way BW historically have. They need the narrative to be that BW were never really down for the BM and the black family to begin with.  They need people to see BW in a certain light in order to validate their failures, dysfunctions, and choices. They need BW to feel guilty in order to continue the gravy train.    

Do not ignore this or pass it off to the side as we've done in the past. Call it out when you see it and correct it when need be. Whoever controls the past also controls the future.  

Related Links:

 

American Single Women

Addicted To Love

Free Dating

Sam Mendes

Are Age Differences a Barrier to Romance?

There is More to Life Than Being Someone’s Wife.

Why BW Need The Rules

How To Go Out Alone Without Being Alone

Dating Expert

How To Be Irresistible to White Men

The New Rules of Attraction

10 Ways to Show ‘I Love You’

 

Get Creative with Your Favorite Phrase

People think that saying those three magical (and sometimes terrifying words) “I love you” is the hardest part of the game. Climbing to the top of that emotional mountain seems like such an accomplishment, that we sometimes forget how to live what we speak. Here are 10 ways to show your lover that you don’t just talk the talk, you walk the love walk, as well.

Coming Home to a Bouquet of Fresh Flowers

This may seem cliche, but there is nothing quite as lovely as the simple act of buying your lover flowers. It creates a fragrant and romantic ambience and is very thoughtful. Flowers cheer up any room, and can turn any frown upside down! Yes, men can receive flowers, too, and it actually works well when you turn the tables! They feel appreciated and pleasantly surprised; you can’t go wrong!

Little, Random Love Notes

As your love stumbles into the shower at 6 am, wouldn’t it be a sweet surprise to find a little note attached to the mirror in the bathroom, saying how much you love being with him or her? How about as they grab their briefcase, backpack, or purse and reach in to find a little note that says something amorous? A little note can go a long way, and when you have something tangible to look at throughout your day, it can definitely put a little spring in your step!

Making Their Favorite Meal From Scratch

    
Nothing shows how you can nurture your partner more than cooking for them. There is something seductive about feeding your partner delicious, homemade food that they crave. Whether you are a great chef or hardly boil water well, the important part is to try. The effort shows more than the perfect finished product, and if all else fails, you can have a good laugh together (which is always sexy) over burning the casserole and order take-out, instead!

Speaking of Food...Plan a Picnic

Bring some fabulous wine, really good crusty bread, some juicy fruits (like pomegranates or strawberries), and any other delicious items you want. Grab an old blanket and lay it out at the park or nearby grassy field and lay with one another, looking up at the sky. Feel the breeze on your skin, the sun kissing your face and enjoy the moments of being with your lover.

Little Treats Go a Long Way

Does your partner enjoy running? Sneak little treats into their running shoes, like new running socks or sunscreen. Do they love a certain type of candy? Plan a trip to the movies and sneak in their favorite snack that they don’t care at the concession stand. How about their favorite coffee drink? Pick them one up on your way home to show that they were on your mind. These ideas may seem minute and even silly, but making your lover smile can reinvigorate the relationship and keep it fresh.

Babysit for the Night

If you have children, giving your love the night off to do something that they want to do, whether it’s catch up with a friend, visit family, or just be alone to read or relax without interruptions can really go a long way. By allowing one another some free time, you are building on your trust for each other, you are strengthening mutual respect and understanding for one another’s needs, and you are giving that person a chance to reboot. By giving of yourself, you show your love that you are in this for the long run.

Use Technology to Your Advantage

Little random emails or text messages that say simple things like “thinking of u” or “xo miss u” can really brighten someone’s day, especially if they are having a challenging day at work or school or wherever they are at. It isn’t necessarily what you say that is important, it’s the fact that you took a few moments out of your day to let them know that they are on your mind.

House Chores

Does your partner hate to iron? What about vacuum? Whatever task at home your partner loathes, surprise them by doing it before they get the chance to. Coming home to your basket of clothes being folded and pressed, or finding a clean kitchen in the morning is a wonderful feeling. Housework can be overwhelming and never ending. Seeing your partner make an effort for you and your home let’s you know there is love and respect residing in your house.

Massage

The act of touching your lover in a soothing, relaxing way can really enhance not only your relationship, but the sexual and sensual energy between the two of you. If your lover has had a long day or just looks uncomfortable, tell them to sit down and rub their shoulders for a while. This doesn’t have to be a full-on hour long massage. Just sitting for ten minutes rubbing away some stress can really melt tension that they are feeling.

Affection

Sounds like a no-brainer, but it is always important to keep affection and flirtation in your marriage. Little kisses here and there, just hugging for no reason, subtle touching on the lower back or holding hands as you walk down the street can create a sense of unity and keep you bonded with your partner. Yes, some couples don’t like PDA, but you can always snuggle on the couch together or take a bath in the privacy of your own home. This isn’t about sex. This is about getting the love energy flowing between the two of you and that starts with a wink and a kiss!

There are a million different ways to show your lover that you care. I have only listed a few. Whatever way you decide to demonstrate your love, just remember, the greatest gifts come from the heart.

 Resources:

Philippines Online Dating Evolution, the Past, Present and Future

Alex Etsy

Secretly Converting Your Lover to Green

Keeping Long-Distance Love Alive

 Speed Dating on the Web?

10 Steps to Solidify Your Love

Keeping Secrets From Your Partner

(Awkward!) Online Date

How NOT to Set Up Friends on a Blind Date

You’re Ready For The Wedding, But Are You Ready For Marriage?

Is Your Friend Zone Full?

A Prelude to a Date

Would You Know Him If You Met Him?

Remembering Will and Grace

How to turn your woman on mentally

Online Dating Advice – Being Honest

Online Dating – On Our Coping Mechanism in Break-Ups

The Bigger Perspective Of Love Relationships

Parental Оbjection and Your Love Relationship

Relationship advice: How to get a boyfriend/girlfriend? A little summary…

I know when people read the above title, they get interested and think that they hearing some advices, they are better equipped to get a boyfriend or girlfriend.

The truth is, anybody who asks that question doesn’t understand anything about relationships; you aren’t just going to be getting a partner by using pickup lines, dressing up in the best way that you can and try to appear attractive.

When I was younger, I received such advices before, and it proves to be more of a crap than helpful.

I am sharing this today for one of my friends, who is going after a lady’s heart. And for those who are in the same situation of pursuing someone’s heart, be it a guy or a girl, this is definitely for you.

“How to get a boyfriend/girlfriend?” is a silly question.

You cannot “get” a boyfriend or girlfriend by taking certain steps or procedures. Humans are not robots.

I have seen guys who tried using pickup lines, and asked a lady for her contacts. Immediately he was rejected. It doesn’t matter what kind of pickup lines, gifts or methods he used; it is doomed to failure.

Why? That is because girls and ladies just don’t give their contacts to creeps. If you do not know them in the first place, you got to have them trust and establish a good impression of you first, lest they risk themselves to an unknown stranger.

Similarly, some girls can be rather direct towards guys too, and in some cases they scare the guys.

Pickup lines, gifts and methods just do not work. Instead, understand what truly attracts you to a girl or a guy, and you will understand that unless you adopt some traits, mannerisms or attributes, you won’t be able to pursue someone’s heart easily.

Top most important tip: Be a person of ‘value’

We are all attracted to someone that has a great sense of value or worth. What does that mean?

Some people just have the looks to attract the opposite gender. And when guys or girls see them, they immediately feel that this person has a certain sense of ‘value’ in them, and will treat them better than other people.

Similarly, confident or people with charisma always emit an aura of ‘worth’ and ‘value’, that impresses us to feel differently amongst the rest. They literally influence us to act differently towards them to, where we will show greater respect or politeness than someone else.

You have to learn to be a person of value to other people, or at least appear as one, instead of focusing on ineffective methods and steps in attracting the opposite gender.

Find out within yourself what are the traits that make you a person of ‘value’. It doesn’t necessary have to be skin deep.

What are the common traits of people who has ‘value’?
1. People who have great looks.

2. People who have a flair in talking.

3. People who appear to be interesting, and have experiences in many things.

4. People who are humorous.

5. People who are confident.

6. People who are not men-pleasers; they have a stand of their own and have their unique set of thinking.

However they are not weird and out-of-this-world.

7. People who have a vision in life and are actively pursuing their vision. They are not all talk only.

8. A kind and a pleasant personality also attracts.

9. People who are financially independent, and have the substance to progress further.

10. People who are adventurous, outing and sporty; they are not introverted.

11. People who have a set of great abilities and skills; like playing the guitar or sing well.

12. People who are romantic.

13. People who are presentable in their appearance, and bother to do some personal grooming.

All these traits are not ranked according to numbers; they are completely random, and may differ with different people’s true likings.

However, these traits are not exactly far off. We must understand that what attracts us to others, should be similar with what others are to be attracted to us about.

Some tips to appear like a person of ‘value’…

1. You must never appear desperate for love before your crush.

You need to have the capacity to let go, to face the prospect of being rejected and not appreciated at all.

Those who do not have this mentality usually have a very rare chance of succeeding.

2. Never ask for your crush’s contacts if you have not established a good impression and trust in the first place.

That is because even if you have your crush’s contacts, your crush can easily ignore your messages and phone calls; or just ignore you completely if he or she dislikes you.

So what’s the point of getting your crush’s contacts if it is going to end this way? It would have been better if you leave room for more opportunities to impress, rather than letting your crush dislike you forever.

3. Only ask for personal contacts from your crush in a suitable situation or setting.

You do not want to scare the other party by approaching him or her drastically.

Look for ways to exchange contacts in a casual way. Supposed you need to go to a certain event together, and you have asked to arrange a meetup first before attending the event. There and then you should ask for your crush’s contacts, and it will not appear threatening to him or her.

There are many situations where you can ask for contacts casually. Just never ask directly because it may be a little threatening or it may expose your intentions too soon for your good.

4. Even if you have your crush’s contacts, don’t harass him or her by trying to contact with every slightest point of opportunity.

Otherwise, you will be labelled as a creep and a stalker, and prepare for the cold shoulder from your crush in the upcoming days.

Everything should always be casual, and in a non-threatening manner, to ensure that your build your impression in your crush subtlety.

5. You can learn to be confident and sure. If not, just appear confident, but don’t let anyone find out…

However, it takes time to develop confidence, and the strength to face the risk of failures.

Yet it is one of the best ways to appear like a person of ‘value’.

6. Never try too hard to impress your crush.

This comes in many shapes and forms.

Some people buy expensive gifts to their crush, not knowing that instead of making the other party feel happy, they feel pressure and obligation instead.

Others just talk too much to impress.

Don’t try too hard, it will backfire and you will get a bad impression instead of a good one instead.

7. However, just be around your crush and engage him or her subtlety in your conversations and activities.

There are alot of ways to engage your crush.

You can be a little teasing and not be overboard. Or you can always ask questions and find out more about the other party. Give your views if needed, but always be more willing to hear than to speak with your crush.

If you appear too shy towards your crush, it may be mistakenly interpreted as a lack of confidence towards people.

8. Expand your horizons in your experiences and thoughts.

A hermit living in his or her own world is very unlikely to find love.

Go out, make friends, join activities and have fun! Along the way, you will gain experience, and accumulate thoughts.

Therefore if you are able to relate to others your experiences and thoughts, you will appear interesting instead of boring.

9. Learn a new skill and adopt a hobby which you enjoy.

People who are skillful in their area of interest usually look attractive. How many times are we mesmerized by someone playing the guitar well? Or someone performing magic or card tricks to us?

However, my word of advice is to never take up a skill in order to impress the opposite gender and to get a partner. If your source of motivation is only that partner, you will burn out easily.

Rather, find something which you enjoy where you can pick up and learn.

10. Be ready to give your opinion and views, but do not be overbearing.

People can sense confidence in your opinions and views, so it is great to be an input in conversations.

However, don’t be stubborn in your opinions; give others space, and your crush will notice the depth of your personality and character.

Other advices to be continued…

I have other advices and tips that I do want to share, but this is a long post and I hope to keep it focused.

I also do wish to create a series out of this, and if any of you have anything you want me to share about, do let me know through the comments page below.

So what do you think? Does pickup lines, gifts and other methods work in getting a boyfriend or girlfriend?

Related posts:

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How To Move On After A Rejection!

A Current Profile Photo – Worth a Thousand Words

Sweetheart Swindles and Lost Love Scams

Dating Bloggers Should Think Before They Blog

The Real Reason Why “Nice Guys” Finish Last

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Bitsdujour

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Film Quotes That Have Inspired My Personal Dating Life

How To Manage A Long Distance Relationship

Grabbing Your Feminism By the Balls

Signs He’s Cheating On You 

How To Create A Great Impression

 

One thing I have learnt when making acquaintances - it is vital to start off on the right foot. You need your friends, employer, colleagues, your loved ones even strangers to like you, respect you, trust you.

So how do first impressions happen, anyway? 

They are generated in the most primitive area of the brain, the same
area that processes feelings. When first meeting someone, we immediately assess outward appearance: height, race, age, clothing, etc. Then we notice demeanor, including facial expressions and body language. It is only afterward that the content of the conversation and the way it's said (choice of words, accent) come into play. 

GOLDEN PRINCIPLE

So how can you make a fantastic first impression? The “golden principle” is actually quite simple; people like people who are like them. When people are similar in dress styles, appearance, demeanor, and speech, they automatically assume they are equally similar in social level, education, and even values—and they tend to like each other pretty quickly.

Some things you have little control over, such as race, height, or age. Hairstyles, clothing, and accessories, however, are entirely your choice. How much can you adjust to the people you are meeting? You wouldn't wear a t- shirt and jeans to a bank interview, nor would you wear a three-piece suit at a barbecue of your partner's parents. 

Body language and facial expressions are among the most important aspects of first impressions. Your body is a 24-hour broadcasting station, revealing precisely how you feel at any given moment. Right now—from the crinkle of your forehead to the angle of your feet you're sending out information to anyone around you. Unfortunately, you can't control this vital part of the process consciously. Like your heart and breathing, it is usually controlled by your subconscious mind. One interesting thing about the subconscious mind is that it does not distinguish between imagination and reality.

SO HOW DO YOU CREATE A GREAT IMPRESSION

Look Your Best Always

You leave your home ready to go to a party when you spot your gorgeous neighbor, and he doesn't give you a second glance. Why? Because you aren't dressed your best. When you enter a room, most people look to see who has come in. This is when you have to make an impression. Looking your best will make you feel your best. So make sure that before you leave your front door, look your best, and you never know you might just attract the attention of that gorgeous neighbor.

Feel free to share this blog post with your friends using the share buttons below this post.

If you have anything to contribute or ask, kindly make use of the comment form below.

 

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How To Manage A Long Distance Relationship

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Flirting with your Online Date

 

If you are dating online then you know that flirting in the cyber world is just as important as flirting in the real world.  Just because you’re carrying on your conversation via email instead of face-to-face does not mean you can’t be flirty and show your personality.  Many people seem to think there is an art to flirting and I have to agree with them.  Flirting is an art; you can learn the art of flirting and become very successful at it with your online dates.

 

We’re not talking rocket science here folks!  Learning to flirt is not difficult.  It simply takes a bit of confidence and attention to detail.  If you are with your date in person, eye contact is essential; however, you obviously cannot do this when you are online.  Email flirting takes some practice.  You know how you feel when someone you like remembers things you’ve told him.  They remember your favorite restaurant or your favorite type of music—well that’s what I mean when I say pay attention to details.  Remember what your online date tells you about himself, and then remark about it.  This is flirting.  This is showing him that you’ve taken the time to listen (or in this case read) carefully about the things he’s told you about himself.  When you repeat back to him what he has said to you, he feels good.  Paying attention and taking a strong interest in your date is essential if you’re going to be a good flirt!

Some Smart Ways to Make Women Fall for You

Looking for the Perfect Dating Site?

Crazy Glue Called LOVE

Are You Dating Psycho Boy?!!

A Cheesy Kind Of Love

Dating Site No-No’s

Divorce Concessions – She got Facebook and I got Twitter

Four Dating Tips to Live By

Signs That Show Someone is interested in you

Bad Break Up Stories

Dating For Nerds: It Exists! Trust me!

Top Dating Tips for Women in Their 30s or 40s

A Cautionary Tale

Why You’ll Never Win a Fight

Getting Over the Anger In Relationships

Personal Ads in Newspapers versus Dating Online

Don’t be complimentary for the sake of being complimentary because it will have a false ring to it and your date will know you’re not being sincere. Empty, fluffy remarks will sound empty and shallow and you can be sure he will move on to the next woman who seems to have more going on in her head.  Being able to hold your own in a conversation is important as well as being sexy.  Email conversations are just as important as in-person talks, so be mindful that you’re taking your time to construct a well-thought out and interesting email.  That’s the beauty of email; you can take your time and get it just right.

Be true to who you are.  This means that if you’re not the type to wink or flutter your eyelashes in person, don’t do it in an email.  Don’t use a million emoticons in an attempt to be someone you’re not.  Flirting isn’t all about being the silly, helpless female.  Successful flirting is a way to showcase your amazing and unique personality along with communicating eloquently with your new guy.  Believe it or not, if you are able to express yourself in an open and honest way, this can be a real turn-on.

Most importantly, don’t try so hard.  Don’t try to be someone you’re not.  Just be yourself.  Include him as much as you can in the conversation so you’re not rambling on and on about you.  When you show him you are a confident woman with your own specific likes and dislikes and you include him in the conversation, you will be on your way to becoming a natural flirt.  Easier than you thought, isn’t it?

 

Your Appearance Is Sending Unconscious Signals

 

It’s a well-known fact that we’re constantly sending signals to people.  Body language, gestures and phrases all come into play.  What we may not realize, though, is how our appearance plays a part in sending signals, too.  From clothing to hair and make-up, we’re telling the world where we’re at emotionally.  Knowing what you’re showing can help you understand why you’re getting the reactions you are, and how to modify yourself to being irresistible.

Starting with hair: the length of your hair can reflect your personality.  The shorter and more stylish it is, the more it tells others you’re high-maintenance, high-strung and meticulous.  It can also be a signal of insecurity because of the constant upkeep.  The most girlfriend-friendly hairstyles are mid-length, from chin to shoulders.  You take care of yourself, but don’t overdo it.  Long hair can be two different things:  either you’re attempting to recapture or play on youthfulness (which can be a sign of desperation if you’re an older woman) or that you simply don’t care.

Hair color is another readable factor.  Many women color their hair, and the choices in coloring speak volumes.  Black hair is the intentional rebel.  Brown hair is (again) the most friendly, because it’s the most common.  With warm highlights, it shows openness.  Red hair is the rarest, and will soon die out altogether.  A woman who colors her hair red is ready for a relationship and looking for attention.  Bottle blonds can come off as icy or unapproachable, and because the bleach does so much damage the ends get brittle.  Not keeping it trimmed makes a stereotypical cheapness.

The clothing we wear is also a reflection, not just in the style but in the color choices.  Here are the most common:

• Red. Again, signaling that you’re ready for a relationship or looking for some excitement. It’s the most eye-catching color, and that’s what it’s worn for.
• Black. Either a protection mechanism or a contrast to highlight the other features (i.e. figure and face).
• Brown. While it may be natural, it’s also a natural repellent since it brings to mind dinge and dirt.
• Yellow. Happiness, sunniness and joy in general, it can also scare people away from you if it’s too bright.  Imagine someone cheerful waking you up at 5am on a Sunday.
• White. Spotlessness tells of a clean freak, someone who would insist on coasters at the dinner table.  It can also be a sign of purity or untouchable-ness.
• Purple. A free spirit wears purple, and doesn’t care who likes it or not.  Especially vivid purples.  Independent and feisty.

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