It’s Not Just A Title: The Maine Backpage Debate

Backpage, the words seem so elementary don’t they? I can still remember in grade school Christopher Hamilton secretly slipping a note on my desk as he walked past, pretending to need to sharpen his pencil. Scribbled on the somewhat crumpled piece of looseleaf was five little words,

WILL YOU BE MY GIRLFRIEND?

Bangor

Portland

Augusta

Lewiston

Auburn

Sanford

Waterville

Gorham

Farmington

Biddeford

Brunswick

Rockland

Bath

Belfast

Ellsworth

Brewer

Skowhegan

Addison

Saco

Houlton

Dexter

Showhegan

To this request I said yes and me and Chris were in relationship bliss for a whole two hours-that’s when recess rolled around and the thought of having to hold his hand or sit next to him repulsed me, so I quickly changed my mind. My shortest relationship to date, but Chris didn’t care, he was so excited to be able to call me his girlfriend-it meant something to him.

Nowadays, that’s not the case. I hear more and more people talking about not wanting “the title”. They want to date without calling it Backpage. Is it because they’ve been hurt so many times in the past that they don’t trust? Or is it just because in our society today people are more afraid and reluctant to make commitments and stick to them? Some people will tell you that the title means nothing.

Truth is Backpage has lots of meaning associated with it. There are certain requirements, expectations, and commitments that go along with that title. It’s like getting a promotion at work. You receive a new title and along with that title often times comes more responsibility, a greater commitment, and yes, greater pay. You are entitled to enjoy the greater benefits that the title brings, but with greater responsibility. When you make the step from just dating to being in a relationship it is much like getting that job promotion. Although within each individual relationship the expectations may differ, the point in which you enter into a said relationship, expectations arise.

Without defined expectations, a relationship is sure to fizzle out, usually because one or both parties are not getting what they need or want-because they’ve yet to define to the other person what they expect from them. This is the whole purpose of the whole Backpage phenom. As elementary as it may sound to a woman who is divorced in her early forties with teenagers who also have “boyfriends” it is what defines the commitment and benefits level of a relationship. Remember, often times if the relationship is not defined, there’s no relationship.