Text Game - I hear so many guys complain about how difficult the initial phone call is when setting up a day 2 with a girl they just met. Having to reintroduce yourself, where you met, the awkward pauses, not knowing what to say. One way I’ve learned to remedy this is before I ask a girl for her number or contact info is to set up the date beforehand. In set, after we’ve established attraction, created rapport and are now at a point where we are sharing information about ourselves, I might say something like, “I need to hit the mall and get some new shoes. You should join me.” Or you could say, “Do you know of such and such place (a new bar, store, etc)…I heard it was really cool…I’m going to check it out with some friends this week…you should meet us.”
This is so different from asking a girl to a coffee date or after work drink because its far less risky for both of you. You are actually going to be doing a particular activity, and her presence or your being there together is secondary. It takes off all the pressure.
The Dating Matrix provides sample phone conversations when setting up day 2’s, as well providing a checklist of how to behave and what to say. For those instances when you get a number from a girl and have not set up an activity in advance, I recommend you text. Of course if you have been reading my blog, you know I advocate texting at about a 5 to 1 ratio to making phone calls in any situation. But regardless, text game is easy to get good at, and without any in person awkwardness.
I’ve told you before about Flora who I met a few weeks ago at club Set. She was sitting on a couch with two other girls smoking a cigarette. I was at a VIP table with friends nearby and noticed her. My direct approach was (with a big smile) “You should know smoking isn’t good for you…then again, neither am I.” We began talking and after a few minutes her friend who was leaving came to grab her. I attempted to intervene but to no avail. Anyway, what follows is my text game starting the next day:
E: that must have been your first time at set…otherwise I would have seduced you a long time ago..lol…your friend was very protective…she probably knows I’m not good for you
F: she didn’t say anything but im kinda picky…lol!
E: sweetie, I know ur picky…that’s why u picked me…lol
F: lol! Kinda like that
E: I like that u like that…but I would rather hear it in person…in very close proximity…perhaps whispered in my ear..lol..how do you like that
F: that would be lovely!
E: good..now stop thinking about me and get back to work..lol
F: you’re such a player!
E: well I guess we know whats on ur mind..u weren’t expecting flowers were u..lol
F: never do!
E : oohhh..ur a bad girl…interesting..i could never take you home to mom
F don’t get excited…i got rules
E: lol…ive heard that before..i seem to have this effect on women..whats the matter u don’t trust yourself around me
F: of course I do!
E: not that I don’t think your rules will get thrown out the window…but for humors sake.. tell me a couple
F: ha ha!
Generally, you will never catch me saying things like, “It was really nice meeting you last night” or “I think you are a very nice person”. This kind of crap begs you to be put into the friends zone. I’m not saying you have to be irreverent, but I find it helpful if you are confident with doses of humor. I always try to pick out a thread from our conversation and have a funny take on it. I also begin by assuming she knows me and never say “Hi, its Eric….we met last week at …”
Text Games are also a great way to qualify a prospective partner. If she doesn’t have a personality or sense of humor, its going to be apparent pretty quickly…
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