“Welcome to the wonderful world of jealousy, he
thought. For the price of admission, you get a splitting headache, a nearly
irresistible urge to commit murder, and an inferiority complex. Yippee.” ― J.R. Ward, Dark Lover
So she’s got a hot body and he’s always surrounded by
a gaggle of girlfriends and there you are lurking in the background, watching
intently when your stomach churns, your heart races and an all-consuming heat
starts to fill your body. Before you know it you’ve been bitten by the jealousy
bug and can’t stand to look at either of them.
Jealousy is an annoyingly common feeling that can pull
even the most confident of women into its grasp. While there are an infinite
number of little things that can spawn it, nothing quite compares to feeling
jealous when it comes to a close friend or boyfriend. So what do you do when
the green-eyed monster takes control and jeopardizes the important
relationships in your life? Don’t you worry about a thing, I’ve got the tools
you’ll need to defeat that jealous monster and take control of your feelings.
Body Bitch
No matter where you are on your body love journey, too
many women hate on other body types. There’s fat shaming, skinny shaming, and
well intentioned songs that still shame skinny women. You want Suzy’s abs, the
gym chick is too fit, this girl wears clothes that are too tight, the judgement
never ends.
I mean how many abs does she actually need? In an instant all the time spent primping feels
wasted. Now the only thing on your mind is how to make this bitch feel like
shit for ruining your mojo.
Hello, Jealousy.
How to deal: Before you allow your jealousy to ruin everyone’s day, take a minute
to accept what’s happening. Acknowledge that you’re jealous and try and
pinpoint what exactly is making you feel that way. Is it her hard body? Is it
her Brazilian bikini? Or is it the confidence with which she stripped down? Whatever the case,
you won’t be able to banish jealousy without first confronting the catalyst. If
she has a better body than you, ask her what she’s been doing to keep in such
great shape. Try and put her progress in perspective, maybe she worked really
hard to get that body, maybe she needed this day surrounded by friends to build
the confidence to strut her stuff. Don’t be bitter; instead use it as a way to
make yourself better.
He’s Mine
You and your boyfriend are enjoying the night by a
fire pit at an outdoor bar, sipping on cold beers, when some teenager
walks by with next to nothing on. You’re not even sure if he did a full look to
check her out, but you can’t help but notice her group of friends dancing and
laughing. You’re constantly looking over your shoulder to see what they’re
doing, why they’re laughing and if any of them are making eyes at your
man. Jealousy has reared
its ugly head and now every move they make warrants your attention, any time
your boyfriend moves you assume it’s just to get closer to them and now your
mood is in the shitter. Before you know it, you’ve created a plan for any
possible confrontation and are convinced that they’ve telepathically flirted
with your man.
How you doin’ jelly belly?
How to deal: You may want to sit down for this one but … there are pretty girls
are all over the fucking place! Recovered from that bombshell? Good. When
you’re out with your boyfriend and you spot a sexy girl, shrug it off with a
smile. Instead of imploding, think about it like this: at one point you were
the youngin’ in the club with nothing but pasties on, but now you’re in a
different place and have the love of a great guy. Don’t assume that he’s
looking at every hot girl that passes by, sure he might grab a quick glance (he
is, after all a man), but that doesn’t mean he’s going to run and leave you at
the dinner table. Put more stock in your relationship and all the other things
you have to offer beyond a sexy exterior package. After all there’s a reason
he’s with you and not one of them.
Jealousy, be gone!
I Should Have That
You meet with your bestie for after work drinks, and
she looks like the cat that ate the canary. Suddenly, she cuts you off
mid-sentence to display a shiny rock on her left finger. Bam! You plaster a big smile
on your face, marvel at the size and try your best to get the word
“congratulations” out. Internally, your mind just exploded. She’s not even in love with this guy, she’s
just with him for the money, she’s such a whore and he’ll definitely end up
cheating on her. How could she possibly get married before you? You’ve been in
a committed relationship for 6 years and she’s only been with him 6 months,
where the hell is your ring?
Steady there, green eyes.
How to deal: So she’s got a massive rock on her finger and can’t wipe the smile
off her face, want to get rid of that jealous feeling? Be there for her. You’re her
friend and this is an exciting time in her life no matter what your opinion is
and she shared it with you because she loves you. While you might be envious of
her excitement and want the same, that doesn’t mean you have to bash her. Show
her how supportive you can be and get
the proposal details. She’ll be more than willing to spill and it will give you
time to mentally pull it together. Don’t compare your relationship to hers and
go home and bully your boyfriend into taking the next step. Your day will come
and when it does, you’ll want her to be excited for you too.
Jealousy can take over everything if you allow it, but always remember you
are in control. It’s not easy for anyone to admit they’re feeling jealous, but
if you can master that, you remove the power it holds over you. Be the badass
friend and girlfriend you know you can be and be a pillar of support and love
because when your time comes, you’ll want them to do the same.
