Guys, if you
really want to lose that girl, there are some sure-fire steps you can take to
make sure she hits the road in a big hurry. If you’re just not that into her,
but don’t quite know how to tell her so, you need to try a more indirect, yet
creative approach. Here are ten easy ways you can scare off your girlfriend:
1.
Tell her about
your Uncle Elwood, who lives in your parents’ attic. Point out the fact that
he’s only allowed out twice a year – Halloween and Valentine’s Day.
2. Inform her that your family doesn’t believe in divorce, or breaking up. It’s blood
in, blood out.
3.
Give her a
glimpse of the old family tree. Share your collection of mugshots and newspaper
clippings in the family photo album.
4.
Tell her that you
can’t wait to get married, so you can have the same relationship with her that
you’ve had with your mom.
5.
Take her to a
porn movie on a date. For bonus points, tell her that by bringing a female
guest, you’re earning membership points that can be redeemed for valuable
prizes.
6.
While showing
her your extensive knife and machete collection, ask her menacingly what her
blood type is.
7.
Make it a point
to remind her whenever you go out together that you need to be back home
indoors before sunrise.
8.
Whenever you talk
about previous dates or girlfriends, make the sign of the cross and refer to
them as “the dearly departed”.
9.
Wrap your dog’s
invisible fence collar around your leg before she comes over. Answer the door
wearing shorts, then tell her that you can’t go into details, but you need to
stay at home for a while.
10.
Tell her during
a dinner date just how grateful you are to have a real live girlfriend for a
change.
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