Ladies, Is Your Ex ALWAYS On Your Mind?

I have some questions; ponderances, if you will. You see, on one of my other sites, Very Smart Brothas, I wrote a post a few weeks back about why Beyonce's "Best Thing I Never Had" song was ridiculous (the premise, not the music) because of the inherent assumptions that men feel like we lost when our exes move on. I'm aware that for many women, the best way to get over a broken heart is to envision that the guy who broke your heart is strung out on a highway with a "will rap for love" sign and an empty Slurpee cup.

But that rarely happens.

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And while there are some chaps who definitely attempt to come back years later to pursue the woman that they did wrong (there has to be right?), I can honestly say that I've only heard these stories from women so I'm going to assume that there's some hyperbole. Real talk, I don't know a single dude who's EVER told me that he wishes that he was still with a chick he broke up with. Again, I'm sure it happens but women make it seem like an everyday thing.

Agree to disagree. Well aside from Puffy. That fool put all of his feelings out there when he and J-Lo broke up. I'm still convinced he wants her back. Lucky for him she's done wtih Marc Antony.

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Well, Beyonce took the song, "Best Thing I Never Had" and made a great video for it. But it's only great because for the first time ever, she seems like an actual person. Beyonce has this odd Stepford wife thing about her but in this video, she's all personality. And yes, Virginia, the lingerie helps.

But here's my issue. This video is her wedding day and she's thinking about the guy who broke her heart (in high school - an odd timing choice, but let's just pretend that isn't what happened) and basically feels like she big leagued him because she found the love of her life to marry her...

....when the other dude obviously wouldn't. Of all the damn times to NOT be thinking of somebody else, she's spending actual time on her wedding day feeling some kind of way about a guy from her past. On.her.wedding.day. Granted it's a video and intended to make a point, which is fair. However, I'm not so sure it's "just a video." I get the impression that far too many women could relate to this.

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Is this really how women think? Do you all harbor animosity and bitterness towards men who broke your heart to the point where you wish that he KNEW you were getting married under the auspices that he'd feel like he lost out on you?

True story, not once but TWICE, has an ex of mine gotten in touch with me to let me know she was getting married. And these weren't exes I talk to. Nope. These were exes that I hadn't talked to in years by the time they contacted me. One actually tracked me down in person in a major city. The other sent me her wedding website stuff. No message, nothing. Just the link the URL. What's funny is that I was genuinely happy for them. When we broke up, I let it go. It ain't like it was ALL my fault. But it seems that they didn't. I'm guessing they wanted me to feel some type of way about their nuptials.

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Odd future.

So ladies, I'm curious, do your exes that "hurt" you always remain in the back of your minds? And do you secretly hope he's pained by the fact that you are getting married and/or have (completely) moved on?

Inquiring minds would like to know.