Some dudes are emotionally dumb. Most dudes. They have no empathy, and thus no insight into what a woman’s feeling.
I’m in an offline hookup “upswing” currently. When a woman seems resistant and plays the “next week is so busy” card, I play it cool in a way that alludes to the fact that I have options, just like her. My standard line in that situation, word-for-word: “No worries. I’ll be patient, and hope that no one sweeps either of us off of our feet by then.” Then I’ll call her (NOT TEXT), midway through the week to reconnect.
Or she could just be busy. She could have plans with friends, be going out of town, working, whatever. The canned lamenting about having to wait to see her is a huge turn off. Why are you demanding her time when you just met? Play it cool, my friend.
Play it cool. Although based on my hookup experiences you MAY be correct, i dont like this play it cool game. Its fake. Why play it cool? Play it how you feel it just dont make the other person feel like they dont have space and cant breath. But definitly dont play anything. Im not saying to lamely just “Be yourself” im saying dont just play the cool fool who who lets some other guy dance with your girl. Go take your girl.
My general view is that trying to set up a date the immediate weekend after a Wednesday first date is too soon. Even if you had no plans for the weekend, I think it makes you seem too available and/or lacing in impulse control which is a potential kiss of death for a man. I don’t agree with Moxie’s view that dating has changed in a way that requires rushing things – yes, she has many options. Women always do. And… always have. The key is to create the appearance that you have options too.
Otherwise, I agree with Moxie’s advice that the proper response to a “booked” situation is to just play along and allow her to control the pace. You don’t need to know the answer if she’s “really” interested or not. Time will tell – I would check in with her, she will come around and reciprocate if she’s interested. Trying to guilt her into seeing you after one date is a very bad idea, in my opnion.
I think it’s absolutely fine to see someone again a few days after a first date. In my view, its all in how you ask though. You don’t want to come off like you had nothing else going on or that you’re entirely freeing up your schedule to see this person again. You should have plans ready that you can mention. Something you were doing anyway that you can just invite her to rather than asking her out again. Its much more casual hookup and less pressure. I like Horace’s line too. Prob start using that…
Even though most people are cool with short hookups during the workweek, i don’t assume that anyone is going to be willing to go out on dates on a work night. Some people can seem overly fussy about never letting themselves stay out late if it’s not a weekend. It’s not weird in and of itself if someone you’ve just started dating can only see you once or twice a week in the beginning. It’s also not weird for that person to have to tie up a lot of loose ends before a relationship can fall into place. That includes fulfilling plans she made before you met her and dates that she already has on her roster. It’s curious that this guy doesn’t seem to have asked her about her work schedule or what she’s doing for the next two weekends. I don’t think I’ve ever come away from a first date not knowing when the guy gets home from hookup and the details of the fun things he’s doing over the weekend.
