Some friends of mine who are still serving in the military, just returned from yet another overseas deployment. Some of us served together during the initial deployments after 9/11.
Even though it’s been over 12 years since my last overseas long term deployment, I remember it like yesterday. The feeling of never knowing how long you would be away from home….you had a general idea, but never a specific date.
I sent them a general message to welcome them home and to remind them that no matter when you deploy for however long, a piece of you remains there. The good and bad memories also remain. Leaving a part of your soul somewhere is the price you pay. You come home changed, and have a new perspective on the world. You appreciate things back at home and love them tenfold.
Now I reflect back on that version of myself from way back when and wonder where he went.
I’ve written about this many, many times the past year and I’m still looking for him or at least a trace of him.
I won’t revisit how bad my current project at work is. I won’t cry about the injustice of it. I’ve beaten it to death in my head, heart and caused lots of collateral damage to those close to me.
I’ve gotten advice, direct verbal assaults to deal with it…and I have to do something. Whining, complaining, crying, pouting or any other negative reactions won’t make a difference.
My loved ones both near and far worry about me and have tried repeatedly to help me find a solution.
This weekend (and Friday) I’ve had a migraine headache. (Sinus cold) But, being in constant pain has a way of beating you down some more and making you reassess things.
I have to approach tomorrow with a different view, or less of a negative one.
There is no alternative. The only thing that will happen is I get crushed even worse.
There is no alternative. The only thing that will happen is I get crushed even worse.
There is an end to it. No matter what happens, it will get completed. There will be more drama, complaining (by the customer) and setbacks of varying types. I have to quit coming in expecting it will be perfect, go my way…or go smoothly.
Time to bear down and make it tolerable. I have too.
I’m not sure what will happen when I go back to “The Real World” and my usual projects…but I will deal with that when it happens.
So when the project is over, completed, whatever…I can go home.
And be welcomed too.
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