Let’s face it; humans as a species are easy. How hard is it to get someone to have sex with you? Yes, I understand that it is generally easier for women. Women generally have to turn that shit down. It is like we have to dodge dick on a daily basis being forced to duck and weave through all the lines and offers like the schlong slalom. Seducing another human being even getting them to like you is not that challenging. I am great at “making friends” with
American guys. Perhaps too good. But falling in love? That takes a little romance.
Here are some romantic gestures that really work on Ms.
Charlotte Jay and if it works on me, it is likely to work on other women.
– Opening doors. I know, it is silly. I have lived
in the South for a few months and am already spoiled. Yes, I can open the car door on my own, but if a man walks around the car door to open it for me, that is great. I am too impatient for him to open the door to let me out. That is just excessive.
– He lets me have a bite of his meal. This is so key to me. First of all, what he orders tells me a lot about what kind of person he is.
Does he order something healthy, spicy, or exotic? Does he try something new? I have this untested theory that if a man is experimental at the table, he might be experimental in bed.
I don’t know yet. All I know so far is that I find picky eaters to be annoying and therefore I have never gotten far enough to test this theory.
–He picks me up at my house. This is NOT recommended for on-line daters! If a man picks a lady up at her house and interacts with her family, roommates, or dog for a few minutes before taking her out shows that he sees you as a lady with a community that cares about her and to whom she is accountable. This might make him think twice before “stealing” her away or question is non-noble intentions.
– When he looks into my eyes. Not in a creepy way, but he just looks into my eyes hoping to get some clues to the mysteries of my soul. On dates, men often look at my mouth (or my breasts). This is NOT necessarily a bad thing. I want a man to find me attractive. There are problems if he does not at least steal a glance once or twice, trust me. I hypothesize that they look at my mouth imagining what it would be like to kiss me, or have more naughty thoughts like how my lips would look wrapped around their cock. That is all well and good, but all women have lips, some are nicer than others, but no other woman has eyes or a soul like mine.
– Little gifts, notes or gestures, not huge extravagant presents. I love little sweet texts and little notes. Notes and love letters are a lost art in this digital age. Little gifts would be an icy Diet Mountain Dew that is my favorite, or a fountain Diet Coke with a splash of Coke or better yet just a bit of cherry flavor that you can get convenience stores like Speedway and Tom Thumb. If he gets my
coffee order right: Venti latte, 2% no sugar or flavor Or Iced coffee, cream no sugar or flavor, or dark roast coffee with 2 or 3 creams. Candy could be tricky if I am dieting or something, but hardly anyone has asked what my favorite candy is. Bonus points for any man that would ask. Flowers for no reason as long as they are not excessive. Some little gift that made you think of me or remind you of a moment we shared. Sigh…. That would be lovely. Getting a chewy bone or a toy for my dog would be nice too. She is too old for rawhide, I wonder if a man would care enough to know that.
– Expensive gifts are NOT a good idea for a girl like me. First of all, it makes me think you are trying to purchase me. Also, there is the stench of desparation to a man that buys expensive jewelry to early in a relationship. DON’T FALL FOR IT and DO NOT feel obligated to the man. If possible do not accept the gift. I have made this mistake. It also sets up some kind of expectation or reciprocal situation I would make me feel uncomfortable. HUSBANDS can buy expensive gifts like jewelry. Boyfriends, stick to lattes and chewy bones.
– Walks in the park or the beach. I know that is so lame “If you like pina coladas, and getting caught in the rain,” thank you Jimmy Buffet. First of all, pina coladas are great and so are margaritas, but lattes or smoothies will work on a “light weight” like me. Getting caught in the rain with the right person can be kind of fun, even sexy.
If you walk on the beach or in a park, you might accidently brush up
against each other, hold hands, or just enjoying the simple beauty of the earth with the right person can be magical.
– Road trips. I have not been on a good road trip with anyone for years. I have driven cross country with my dog, but
it is not the same. A good road trip could be with a friend or family members can be fun as well. My brother and I travel well together. But an actual road trip with a boyfriend or with at least a spark of romantic potential, sigh. The heart can dream, right?
– Not only how he touches me, but how he does not touch me as well. Ladies, do you remember a time when a man was making out with you and did not just “go for the gold” or try to get whatever he can get but instead respected your body and waited to be “invited” to touch you? Wow, what would that feel like? You know when you are friends with a person and there is that electricity between the two of you and how you might casually touch them and then jerk your hand away because you felt that jolt of attraction you were not ready for? That is divine, is it not? That electricity is not just for
virgins, it is for anyone who is open to falling in love again. A good lover, the right lover, will make you feel like a virgin ala’ Madonna circa 1984 in how they make you feel like you have never been touched.
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He respects that I have a life outside of him. I was on a
date once and I had to go to a writer’s club meeting and instead of being all greedy and encouraging me to stay with him for his pleasure which he could have talked me into especially if I thought I would lose him if I left, he made sure that I got to my writer’s group on time because he knew it was important to me. Perhaps he was secure that I would come back to him. He valued the parts of my life that made me “me.” That is a man who knows how to love.
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He will rub my tummy and/or back when I am crampy and does not pressure me for sex. I have been informed that some other
black women turn into evil beasts at that time of the month and every bit of unpleasantness that is usually suppressed in their nature comes out because she can “blame the hormones.” I venture that she is probably a bitch 365 24/7 and she just pulls out all the stops. I am not saying I am an angel. I have been known to complain and be lethargic, but it is ovulation is such a magical time, I just wait it out.
