"They're infiltrating our world."
"They who?" I asked Sara, wondering if she had suddenly developed a sixth sense and was seeing aliens or, worse yet, dead people.
"Men."
"Men? I thought it already was a man's world -- who's world are you talking about?"
"Kat, it's 2:30 on a Wednesday and look at all the men out and about.
I looked up and down San Anselmo Avenue, where Sara and I had stopped to window-ogle and have a latte after biking out to Nicasio. She was right. No matter where we were that morning, there were men parading around in the world that generally belonged to stay-at-home-mommies. Not in suits, either, but in Lycra on bikes, in T-shirts with strollers and Labs or balancing grocery bags in one hand and a screaming toddler trying to break away from the other.
"Wow. The newly jobless, you suppose?"
"Probably. And the about-to-be divorced."
"Sara, what are you talking about?
"It's the 'Little Children' Syndrome."
"I haven't heard of that. Is it like the Peter Pan one?"
"No, like the book. Todd's the cute stay-at-home dad and none of the moms on the playground trust him except Sarah, who ends up screwing him and he almost leaves his wife for her even though his wife's a hottie and Sarah's not."
"Sara, it's a novel! It's made up."
"It doesn't make a difference. Guys mulling around with kids in the middle of the day are like cleavage on a woman. Everyone notices it, and a certain percentage of the population wants to play with it."
"That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard!" I said a little too loudly, evidently, as a few people on the sidewalk gave me a much wider berth than was called for.
But I had to wonder if Sara was onto something.
A lot of women melt at the sight of a man out with his children having daddy fun, which is always more rambunctious, messier and noisier than mommy fun. It's like emotional porn for us. We especially feel that way if we have a hubby or an ex who hasn't measured up to our vision of what "Good Dad" looks like.
"Look at that wonderful daddy who adores his kids and wants to be with them on his day off," we think. "What a lucky wife he has. She's probably out having facials and nips and tucks and spending ridiculous amounts of money on outfits she doesn't even need instead of spending a glorious day with her gorgeous, loving family. She doesn't even deserve him!"
And if he's a single dad, well, that's sexy. Most single moms I know want to date single dads because they "get" what single parenting is all about. We imagine he's more emotionally available and less self-absorbed because having kids changes you that way. So we're all ready to become Instant-Stepmom -- Poor guy, raising kids alone; he needs someone to look after him!
Can't say the same for single moms, though.
Yet if we see him every day at the typical mommy places, that's a very different thing.
There are about 159,000 stay-at-home dads. Given the current economic crisis, the number is probably increasing.
But the midweek afternoon world is a mommy's world. If women suffer discrimination in the boardroom, SAHDs suffer discrimination on the playground. Most SAHDs and dads who work from home say they're excluded from mommy activities. Women feel uneasy about having a man in the midst of their playground gatherings, where the kiddies play and the mommies mostly bitch about their hubbies' failings. Can't do that if there's a man around.
Still, if a lone dad ventures into mommyland -- and if he happens to be cute -- he'll have a gaggle of flirty moms around him in no time. That's why the hubbies don't like SAHDs either; they don't want some wanna-be "stud" hanging around their women even if they believe he's a wuss for staying home doing "women's work."
And a lot of women feel that way, too. Because we're never really sure if a man will be happy at home. On top of that, we'll be judged for not staying home and taking care of our kids.
And a lot of women feel that way, too. Because we're never really sure if a man will be happy at home. On top of that, we'll be judged for not staying home and taking care of our kids.
But as a chick magnet, you just can't beat a devoted daddy cooing at his babies. Tell that to the pick-up artists!
******
Gals, do you find dads sexy?
Ever hit up on one?
Would you want your hubby to be a SAHD?
Gals, do you find dads sexy?
Ever hit up on one?
Would you want your hubby to be a SAHD?
Guys, do you like being a SAHD, or would you want to be one?
Do women flirt with you when you're out with your kids?
Do women flirt with you when you're out with your kids?
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