One thing this life has taught me with it’s twists and turns is that you NEVER say NEVER and you don’t speak about things which you know NOTHING about. There have been several occasions in which life has taught me this. I’ve received several slaps in the face, constant reminders that I, Angela Jordan, am not perfect after all (sorry to disappoint).
These times include, but are not limited to, the declaration that pregnancy doesn’t “just happen” and my implication that those who say that are, well, stupid? 3 months later I was pregnant. And I swear, it just happened. Oh and the declaration that I would NEVER have an abortion? Well, I didn’t have one, but I thought long and hard about it. Long and hard all the way to the clinic where I then chickened out, but still, little miss judgmental was once again enlightened. The most recent time this happened to me I was one of those girls who thought that people who cheat were the scum of the earth. And guess what-I cheated.
And now being labeled a “cheater” myself I have no choice but to see the other side, once again. When this happened it challenged everything I believed about relationships, cheating, and mostly myself. I’m sharing this with you guys to help those who have cheated themselves and are left trying to pick up the pieces of a broken relationship, and those of you who have been cheated on and are left wondering why and questioning your judgement.
How To Deal With Being A “Cheater”
Good People Make Bad
Choices
Cheating is a bad choice let’s
face it. In a sense we become our choices, but we don’t always have to choose
to be. We can choose differently next time. We can choose to not let that
decision shape us and become a part of who we are. We can instead learn from it
and move forward. Cheating doesn’t make you a bad person, it’s how you move on
from it that determines your character. Good people make mistakes. We are all
human.
Learn How To Express
Yourself
Often times cheating is a result
of unmet expectations. Learning how to more effectively express your
expectations puts you more in control of your relationship. It’s you doing your
part to give the other person a chance to abide by those expectations. I talk
more about this in 7 Habits Of Highly Effective Daters, which is also a good read and can help
prevent cheating on your part.Change Is VITAL
Now here’s the hard part- change. You’ll need to identify the “why” behind what you did. You were lonely, tired, aggravated, you let someone in that you shouldn’t have-whatever the reason, you must identify it. And it must be something that pertains to YOU not something your partner did to make you to what you did. Remember, when we blame others for our actions we actually give up our power to be in control of our lives and shape our own destinies. We are saying that we allowed someone else that power- and this we should never do. Once you identify what it was-the feeling, the man we let in, the loneliness, we have to come up with alternative ways to deal with it. If you were feeling lonely and you cheated, then you are going to have come up with different ways to deal with that emotion other than filling that space with the affection of the opposite sex. Get it?Bottom line, cheaters are not always cheaters, people can change, sometimes it requires great change, sometimes it just requires a little tweaking to our mindsets. Never judge ANYONE! You never know what the universe will place in your path that will challenge that judgement. Keep loving-yourself first, others second .
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