Moslitski

четверг, 3 июня 2021 г.

Sticking To Your Stereotypes

I covered this topic in Deeper Than Game, but Tazzy Bee also said something similar:

I've realized recently that when a woman approaches you , it is because she is extremely attracted to whatever stereotype you project. This means for black men , whenever a white woman approaches , its best to stick with direct / mode one type of game.

These are very true words. It's always good to be different, but it's best not to stray too far away from the stereotypes that women believe about men like you. Sure, you may get a girl that may like your uniqueness, but these women are rare. The types of women that will choose you or like you instantly, will most likely like you because of some stereotype or preconceived belief that they have about men that are similar to you (what you appear to be).

For example, if you are a black guy that hangs around white people and primarily white nightclubs like I do, then yes, you want to fit in with your white friends, but at the same time, you still want to be a black guy. It's best to fit in just enough so that you aren't an outcast, but at the same time, you want to maintain your blackness because if a girl chooses you, she most likely will choose you because of the stereotypes associated with black guys.

And let's not limit this to black guys. White guys should do the same. You need to go heavily in the direction of a rocker, fratboy, hipster, etc.,. Why? Because women who like white guys, tend to like white guys that fit one of those descriptions. It's not enough to just be a white guy; you gotta be a stereotypical white guy in one of the categories of white guys that women are attracted to.

I believe that this is the reason that when it comes to women, black guys either flourish, or they continually fail. The black guys who fail may be able to attract women with their looks, but if they've never hung around black jocks or thugs, then they have no idea of what women who choose black guys like about them. This is usually the case with black guys from the suburbs who never became jocks or spent any considerable amount of time around inner city black guys.

For example, I know of a couple of black guys that go the heavily rocker route with the crazy earrings, chains, etc. These guys are basically white guys. However, these guys don't get any women. Why not? Even when a woman is into the rocker scene who likes black guys, she probably likes black guys because of some of the stereotypes about their personalities. So what happens when these girls in the rocker scene talk to these black guys and find out that these guys are totally white? They get turned off and move on.

The same goes for older guys in general. The women that choose older men aren't looking for older men that are trying to impress them with tricks and routines. They want older men because they are stereotypically experienced, calm, confident, etc. So what happens when a chick chooses an older guy and then sees that he is performing all kinds of tricks and routines to impress her? She gets turned off and moves on.

I'm not saying that you have to play up every stereotype, afterall, my voice, style of clothing, and vocabulary is the same of a typical frat asshole white guy, but at the same time, I know how to play up the right black stereotypes. I know how to be cool, calm, dominating, etc., so I still get the girls that are into black guys without scaring them off because of not being "black enough".

No matter if you're old, black, white, hispanic, if there's something about your race, age, social class, etc., that a group of women tend to go for, then you need to play up some of the stereotypes associated with it, as the women who choose those guys, choose them for stereotypical reasons. You can still be unique and be yourself, but make sure that you don't stray too far away from what women like about guys that you are stereotyped to be like. A lot of PUAs have trouble because they don't just pick a stereotypical direction and go with it.

----

If you're dating outside of your race, you obviously want to fit in culturally with whatever women you are going after, but at the same time, if there's something that is positively associated with your race, then you want to maintain it. Again, I'm a black guy that likes keggers, some rock music, and art, which makes me appealing to white girls, but at the same time, I have the positive personality traits that are associated with black guys, such as being decisive, cool, etc.

пятница, 21 мая 2021 г.

Humor Is Greater Than Physical Attraction

And this is exactly why if you're gaming in nightclubs, you just want to focus on cracking jokes and having fun all night long:

Sexual attraction isn't simply a matter of physical bodies drawn magnetically together in search of compatibility.

For some women, personality - in particular, a good sense of humour - is equally, if not more, important in generating a sexual spark.

One indication of the importance of a good sense of humour in a man is that it is one of the few personality traits that has its own abbreviation in online dating sites: GSOH.

Another is that research shows married women who think their husbands are witty are more satisfied with their marriages than women who do not.

Women rate it as a desirable trait in short-term sexual and long-term romantic relationships.

Why a sense of humour is so important in sexual attraction has been the subject of scientific debate.

One critical distinction is between humour production (making others laugh) and humour appreciation (laughing at others' jokes).

There's a sex difference - men define a woman with a good sense of humour as someone who laughs at their jokes. Men especially like women who are receptive to their humour.

Women, in contrast, are attracted to men who produce humour, and that's true for all types of relationships, from one-night stands to lifelong matings.

The most likely explanation for why women and men alike are attracted to those with a sense of humour is because laughing elicits a positive mood - it's a sign of confidence and intelligence, too

Read more:

Karaoke Night

Attempts to Open

Playing The Game

Welcome From an Aspiring Pick Up Artist

Unlocking A Woman's Inner Slut

Get The Facebook Info

What Black Guys Don't Get

Speak To The Vagina

Something Women Can Relate To

How Nightclubs Fooled Women

When Women Give You Eye Contact

Flexing Your Financial Muscle

Why Women Are Attracted To Men

The Jackass Never Dies

Now you guys know what you should be focusing on, personality-wise. Humor has the highest payout. If you haven't already, perhaps you should be checking out Assanova's Chick Crack and Assanova's Book Of Awesome Game?

пятница, 7 мая 2021 г.

Trouble Shooting: The Shit Test

A reader asks …

I am getting kind of confused with how to deal with this “sh*t testing.” It seems like it would be hard to find that balance between being an understanding and “not taking the sh*t from the girl.”
At the understanding side, someone could take that too far and end up being a door mat. But, on “not taking the sh*t from the girl” side, someone could take that too far and come across as insensitive of what the girl is going through or why she is reacting in that way. Thanks again,
Matt

Matt, I would say that you really need to assess the situation. I can’t give you a manual on all the situations a woman will engage in that will indicate that she is sh*t testing you. The action could be the same – yet the intention she has for it could be different. This is where you are really going to have to use your judgment.

It’s not a matter of, “Why is she really sh*t testing me” and more of a matter of, “How do I choose to respond to this?” If you always choose to respond with presence – you will win 100% of the time.

You need to pay attention to her reactions. If she says something and you make a joke about it to lighten the mood and she seems more resistant to you after that – then clearly it’s because she is experiencing an insecurity and needs to not only feel your presence but your compassion.

Now keep in mind that a woman is more likely to sh*t test to gauge your strength as a man during the initial stages of meeting her. Say you meet her at a coffee or club she will use sh*t testing as a barrier to fend of suitors which are not suitable to her at all. Therefore, you will more than likely encounter a small bitch shield. Maybe she will: display cold body language, won’t look you in the eye, or make a sarcastic remark. And, there are two places she could be. She really might not be interested in talking with you right then and there (sometimes women just are not in the mood to be picked up or to flirt with a guy no matter how appealing he may be) OR she may just be testing to find out whether you are worth her time. So she will throw a few little tests your way to see how you respond to them. When she sees that you don’t crumble, that you can hold your own, remain calm, cool , collected, and perhaps even make her laugh – she will be more than willing to stop what she is doing and divert her attention to you.

In the initial stages of attraction a woman will be predominately be testing to answer the question “Are you a man that is worth opening up to?”

After you have been dating a woman for a while tends to evolve and looks a little different from when you are initially trying to attract her.

Once you have developed a level of attraction and trust with a woman she will want to test and will be thinking, “Remind me that you are a man that is worth continually opening up to”.

So, you will find that she will express more insecurity based words or actions. Therefore, she may appear moody for no particular reason, she may nit pick on you, she may try to control you, and she may even withdraw to you. All of this is a subconscious process which is designed to gauge how you will react.

Now this is the part that most men miss. They think that when a woman withdraws, acts moody – that they need to respond with niceties or worse they need to walk around her on eggshells. The worse thing you can do to kill your attraction with a woman is to pretend something is ok when it is not. So here is what you need to do.

1) Acknowledge the sh*t test – communicate to her in whatever way you deem appropriate that you know exactly what she is doing.

Her: “You hair looks terrible today”
You: “I’m glad you noticed … I put a lot of effort into it” *sly smile* (in this process her comment should be like water off a duck back – it doesn’t phase you one bit”

2) Validate – An extension to acknowledging this process is about respecting her emotions – showing her that they are in fact important to you.

You: “So we both know this is not about my hair – why the pouty face?

3) Obliterate - Cut through her insecurities by revealing your strength to her – allow your strength and masculinity to be a rock wall she can lean on.

You: *In reference to the pouty face comment* You don’t want to pull that too long, premature wrinkles on the forehead won’t be in fashion for a very long time”

Trouble Shooting
Listen intently, allow her to express – be prepared to change her state using humor. Humor will also allow a woman to feel safe enough to open up to you. But first you must acknowledge and validate her current emotions. You don’t need to get “caught up and lost in her emotions” – you just need to recognize that they are there and allow her to express and say whatever it is that she needs to express and say.

Now a woman will only want to change her state and allow herself to be happy again if she has had sufficient time to “vent” (this means talk, express, get upset over” the very thing that is causing this insecurity. Once she had expressed this – she will have the mental and emotional capacity to move on, be happy and much more open and receptive to you. And, not a moment before.

Now, I’m writing this break down of sh*t testing for you guys, especially since I know that you are a little more advanced that the Average Joe out there. If I were to do a video of this on you-tube I would get a whole bunch of comments like, “Why do I need to put up with her sh*t”, “I need a woman who is less maintenance than this” and so on. And, possibly this thought may or may not have crossed your mind, too.

Note: These are advanced techniques and are based on the assumption that you guys are interested in not only understanding a woman’s need but anticipating them.

This is all based on the assumption that YOU Choose to be the smarter, more proactive part of the relationship and that you will take the leadership position to lead her into a relationship that will fulfill you both.

With that said I know that sh*t testing can be really confusing still to many of you and I would love to know what your thoughts are so I can help clarify any more concerns.

I’ve had my say, now it’s your turn!

вторник, 4 мая 2021 г.

You Met Your Man ~ Why Freak ??

Maria met her man !! She’s so excited !!

She knows how to weed out the “bad guys” …

She knows how to attract what she wants …

Everything she’s learning is paying off !

But now that she’s met her new man, she’s starting to freak out !!

Jake didn’t come in the package Maria expected. He’s a little younger … and different physically from what she imagined.

But he has everything and more of what she wants !!

Maria and Jake connect on so many levels and have an absolute blast together.

He’s thoughtful, kind, funny and a great kisser.

He understands and respects that she doesn’t want to have sex without a commitment … AND he doesn’t want children … which is a major deal breaker for Maria.

Maria has prayed many times for someone like Jake to show up and take her away from the dating madness.

It’s so good ! So right …

Yet, Maria feels anxious and is starting to freak out.

So what’s the problem ?? Why is Maria freaking out ??

Meeting a man like Jake was exactly what Maria wanted. She just wasn’t expecting the emotions that come along with … the vulnerability … the fear … the crazy !!

Is this normal?

Yes it is.   For several reasons …

1.    Fantasy Meets Reality

It’s one thing to dream of your man. It’s another to finally meet him.

In your dream … he’s pictured a certain way … he behaves a certain way … and he’s available at your convenience.

The reality is … he’s probably not going to be anything like you pictured. He’s gonna be who he is … and he’s gonna want to see you at his convenience.

When you meet your man … “freaking out” is not going to be about the man. It’s going to be about you. Here he is … the real deal. Who are you in relationship to him? Are you available to receive him? Seeing yourself reflected in the presence of a real man can be freaky indeed!

2.    Too Good To Be True

When your man really, really wants you, it’s great … and it can feel overwhelming.

You imagine wonderful feelings of love and bliss. You meet him and he surpasses your imagination. Then you realize his attention can feel quite frightening. You are exposed. It’s a very vulnerable place.

You start questioning EVERYTHING … like, is he the right man? Or do you even want a man ?? Crazy, huh?

Meeting your man takes you to the deepest part of yourself and it can feel terrifying … because you have to look at who you are, what you value and your own self-worth.

Are you worthy to receive your man … if he’s “too good to be true?”

3.    The Risk Factor

Meeting your man doesn’t come without a risk factor. Love in the best circumstances is still a roll of the dice.

You’re human. Amid the bliss of meeting your man lurk old fears and beliefs.

What if it doesn’t work out?

What if you lose yourself?

What if he uses you, then leaves?

There’s a lot going on.

It’s normal to freak out. When you meet your man, your life changes. Big time !

It will never be the same.

The anticipation … uncertainty … excitement … adrenaline … joy … fear … freak out … are all part of being in a new relationship with your man.

It’s a normal feeling. So, take a deep breath and relax.

The best thing you can do is stay anchored in your own self love and enjoy the ride !

To help you get started in meeting your man … or understanding what to expect when you do, order “The Role of a Lifetime: How To Star In Your Own Love Story” home study course.

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пятница, 30 апреля 2021 г.

Long Distance Hang Ups

If you have ever been in a long distance relationship, you know how frustrating it is to be hung up on. The worst part about it is that you feel helpless. Not only do you know that the person you love is beyond angry with you, but there is not a single thing you can do to make the situation better. Every time you call, he puts your call through to voice mail. Every time you sign in online, he signs off. Every time you write an email, he doesn’t respond. Long distance hang ups are rather torturous for most people in this situation.

Why does it happen? There are many reasons for this but basically it is because one person is upset and just cannot stand the relationship at the current moment. This is a common feeling, even more so in a long distance relationship. The anger can stem from silly comments interpreted poorly, from disheartening actions from your partner’s side, you had a really bad day or you are simply frustrated with the distance. These situations would make anyone go mad and you can expect to hear a few dead lines of communication before your partner is ready to start anew.

Obviously the best piece of advice is to just avoid the whole hang up situation. Unfortunately, that is a lot easier said than done. If you want to hang up, just try to think about how awful it would be if your partner hung up on you in a fit of anger and how much you would dislike it. Use an excuse, say someone is calling in, that you have to walk the dog, you have plans with your mother, anything that sounds feasible but that can end on a good note. Once you are off the phone, you can take the time you need to get away from the situation without hurting your partner’s feelings.

Once you are ready to communicate, you can talk to that person again and explain the situation clearly and come to an answer. When you are at a distance it is crucial to speak to your partner while you are calm and relaxed so that you can avoid any major emotional blow outs. Long distance relationships certainly take more time to understand and much more effort than an “ordinary” relationship.

References:

Love after divorce: How dating did it for me

5 Top Tips for Boosting Your Confidence With Dating

Five Biggest Lies Dating Women Believe and How I Overcame Them

What Not to Talk About: First Date Guidance

Dating Non-negotiables

Playing the Dating Game After Divorce

Flirting Efficiency – Tips for a Great Web Flirt

Toxic Relationships: True Love Doesn’t Make You Suffer

To Date or Not to Date a Two-Time Loser

About Men: Do You Speak Male?

Gay Dating – Finding Love in the Gay Community

How to Fight With Your Wife

7 WAYS TO WOO WOMEN ON BUMBLE

пятница, 2 апреля 2021 г.

What I’ve Learned in my Thirties

Even as I was living it, I knew that I would look back at my thirties and know that this would be the most interesting, fun, difficult, and freeing time of my life. So often a woman in her twenties, with notable exceptions, is wrapped in family and societal expectations. You barely know yourself let alone the world yet you have to make decisions that can impact the rest of your life and all you feel like you can handle is matching your lipstick to your nail polish. There are so many pressures of doing “the right thing” and it feels like you have to do everything RIGHT NOW. There is such a sense of urgency to get married, start a family, start a career before you know what the fuck is going on. For me, I was in the wrong career, the wrong marriage, and I wondered why I was so unhappy. In your thirties, you know yourself a little bit better, you know a little bit more of the world, you start to care less about what others think of you. With this self and world knowledge, you can start making better decisions. Its not too late.

Career

The first thing you have to let go of is that on the back of your college diploma says “for deposit only.” Education is always valuable. You have to keep telling yourself that every time you pay that student loan. So your degree is in marketing and you are a retail store manager. So what, its a paycheck and its kind of in your field. My degree is in English with a minor in Speech Pathology. My second degree is in Education. I worked in the classroom, if you include substitute teaching, for about five years. I worked for an education company developing and grading tests for about four years. I have worked in insurance and finance for the past about seven years and am so much happier. I am also paid a lot better. I have a career path in finance even though I still consider it my “day job.” People give English majors such a hard time, but knowing how to communicate effectively is a very valuable skill. They can train me on the finance stuff, but talking to people about their money is hard work and it is not for everyone.

Let someone else say something stupid in the meetings, it doesn’t have to be you. There is always someone in the meeting with no filter or internal dialogue. Let that person hang themselves, but you don’t have to give them the rope. Stay out of it and do your job. If you feel you just have to disagree or take up a cause at work, either talk to your manager or an HR representative privately. The whole world doesn’t need to know that you are disgruntled or that a policy sucks. There are a lot of policies in a lot of companies that suck. Its work, suck it up. In your thirties you realize a roof over your head and food on your table is more important than a misguided cause. Sure, if you feel very strongly and it is justified, be a whistle blower. There is enough corruption in the corporations that we need some whistle blowing, but understand that you will most likely just hurt yourself. You can be a sell out, but you don’t have to buy in.

“Don’t get you honey where you get your money” a country radio DJ said that once. Its true. There are so many sayings about this that you’d think people would learn. Sure, you are with that person all the time and will probably have shared interests, but this could be career suicide and an HR nightmare. If you HAVE to date at the office, be sure that you are up on HR policies and still ask yourself, is online dating that hard?

Keeping Up with the Jones

Stop. Just stop. Generation X especially has had to weather many a recession dating back to our infancy in the 70’s, the crash of 1989 when we were teens, and the Internet bubble of 2001, and the home mortgage and bank crisis of 2008. If you have a job and can pay your bills, good. That is an accomplishment in itself. There are some lucky bastards out there that seem to be untouched by market trends and other disasters. I bet their shit don’t stink too. Good for them. If you are barely making it, at least you are making it. Stop worrying about social media updates of anniversaries, promotions, new jobs, new houses, and new babies. This is hard for me, especially the anniversaries and babies bit. Try to be happy for them. We all want praise and recognition but, don’t compare your life’s story to someone else’s highlight reel.

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Family

This is a tricky one for me. I am a divorced, childless adult who is nearly forty. My dreams of motherhood are pretty much dashed. Sure, it is still biologically possible, but that doesn’t make it a good idea. I have pretty much decided that ship has sailed and have suffered enough about that fact for one life time. Remember, people often will try to justify their lifestyle choices by judging yours.

Because I am a divorced, childless adult nearly forty, I have no status in my family. None. Although I used to host the occasional holiday, no one is coming to the trendy Northside to my cute, but small one bedroom apartment for a meal no matter how gourmet and delicious the food is or how much the wine and conversation sparkles. Sure, the pressure is off and I clean my apartment mostly for my own sanity rather than the threat of guests. It still hurts that I have to hope I get an invite to my brother’s house and be an addition to his family rather than having a family of my own. It hurts, I won’t lie. But then again, I have consider amount free time and I answer to no one and that is about as awesome as you imagine it to be. I can be a role model of a happy, successful woman, single or otherwise.

I still want to get married again. Why lie? I loved being married even though my husband literally drove me crazy. It is nice to have a partner and have someone on your side. Of course being single is WAY better than being stuck in a bad marriage. Being in a bad romantic relationship feels like you can’t breathe. I can be a good wife for the right man. I think men who get serious about a woman knows that this is the end game for most of us. If they knew how much they benefited from marriage, perhaps they wouldn’t be so shy about it. When I get remarried, I am not going to be one of those older, second time around embarrassed brides. So, I’m not a virgin. I look bad in white anyway. My next wedding is going to be to a man worthy of me and there is going to be cake, food, booze, flowers, my nieces will be flower girls. There is going to dancing, belly dancers, music, and even fire throwers if I can pull it off. The man in the running to be my next husband knows a lot of creative people. I’m not embarrassed I will be getting married again. I don’t even regret being married the first time. I did nothing wrong. But this next time I’m going to do it right and it will be forever. And there will be cake.

Body Issues

My weight has varied widely in my adult life. I have gone up and down seventy to hundred pounds at least twice in twenty years. I am going back down. I have been as small as a size 14 and as large as a 24. Right not I am about a size 20 which is my default setting, apparently. I am losing weight now just to avoid diabetes and heart disease, but vanity is still a major factor in my passing up temptation. Only, now I am eating so much better gravy looks and tastes disgusting and pretty much every dessert tastes cloyingly sweet. Gravity and time have been amazingly kind to me. I love my breasts although I am sometimes embarrassed by how big they are. My curves and tiny waist are enviable. My ass is big, round, shapely, like the stuff of rap songs. I don’t like my stomach and I’m working on it but I don’t hate it. Why hate the body which is the lovely, healthy, functional vessel for my soul? I still have a lot of weight to lose and I am trying to give up smoking. I so regret starting in the first place. It is the hardest habit I’ve ever had to break. Now that I like my life, I’d like to be around a lot longer if only to make up for the time when I hated myself, my life, and tried so hard to end it both actively and passively. There is still time to make up for lost time.

Sex

Sex is so much better in your thirties than in your twenties and I don’t blame my partners for it either. Even though my ex-husband was a closet homosexual, or really, kind of more towards bi on the Kinsey scale when we first met, I’d like to go on record that he was a good lover and he tried his best. Women give points for effort, a lot of points. I am sure there is some biological and physiological reasons for why sex is better for women in their thirties and our much rumored and documented sexual peak not withstanding. But here are some things I have learned about sex in my thirties I did not know before.

Although the first orgasm takes a bit more effort and more direct stimulation, I am not as afraid to ask for said stimulation and the orgasms after that initial orgasm are stronger and more frequent. Earth shattering is not an understatement.

There is such a thing as internal and external orgasms, although I don’t think all women know about it but I think most are capable. I think we just tell women not all of us can have vaginal orgasms to make those that haven’t yet feel better about it. Yes, the clitoris is the source for all orgasms and the “G-spot” is not all that elusive and is just the under side of the clitoris. I am physiologically lucky in the my G-spot is not especially deep and is accessible with just one finger or even a modestly endowed partner.

As far as male size is concerned, there is a point of diminishing returns. There is such a thing as too small where it barely feels like he’s in at all or positions are somewhat limited. But really, if you really love him or want him, you can work with what he’s got. Do not underestimate the power and creativity of fingers and a well placed tongue.

Swallowing is not necessary.

Internet porn as ruined just about every man under the age of 35.

Men over the age of 35 tend to have less “dick-centric” sex, are more giving, and way more appreciative in bed. Instead of keeping score with how many women they have had, they keep score with how often and how well they can satisfy you because they have figured out one women is hard enough.

четверг, 3 июня 2021 г.