So you broke up months ago, called it quits, said your goodbyes… At that moment, something happens. It’s called a “break” up for a reason- emphasis on “break”. The intention is to break off from the person who you have been seeing, end the relationship-not change the status of the relationship like a Facebook profile from “in a relationship” to “it’s complicated”. Why, on God’s earth would anybody willingly change their relationship status to “it’s complicated”? Really it’s not complicated, it’s a choice, and it’s yours. Once you choose to breakup, then “break” it off completely. Holding on to your ex and that relationship can be toxic and does get “complicated”, and usually involves more hurt, confusion, and resentment.
Trust Your Intuition
It’s so true there is nothing more telling than your own intuition. If you were unhappy in the relationship, suspected cheating, thought he was controlling, didn’t think he would be a good father, provider, head of the household-whatever the calculated reason was that you ended the relationship, is without a doubt a VALID reason. And that reason you left is NEVER gonna change, no matter if you downgrade your relationship to “it’s complicated” or “friendship”, all you’ll find for sure is that those issues will still be there, and downgrading the relationship to feel those issues less does not make them go away… Just masks them for a while. After a breakup your emotions sometimes get the best of you, you forget what reasons you had for leaving, you miss him, you remember the good times, you are left questioning your motives. Left wondering if your love is enough to overlook those issues… STOP right there. This is exactly the thinking that leads to that “it’s complicated” status that so many of us willingly adopt. Once it’s over-it’s over. Once it’s broken- it’s broken. It will never be the same, and like Humpty Dumpty it will never be put back together again. Trust your instincts, trust your intuition, cut ties-breakup.
Move On
The sooner you cut ties physically(no phone calls, text messages, emails, candid conversations over coffee), the sooner you will heal emotionally and be able to close the door. But the more you allow him to stick around your life, remind you of the good times, beg for you back-the less you will trust your original decision to leave and the more complicated it will become. It may be hard at first, you may be lonely, you may miss those early morning text message saying “I love you”, or those bedtime goodnight calls… But trust me a couple months of a little emotional discomfort is better than dragging it out for a couple of years claiming, “it’s complicated”. Give it up, stick to your guns, cut him off, get him out of your system-Move On!Related links:
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