The Women Who Make Me Smile

Since I’ve started my blog, I’ve met a few women who have made me smile. Every time I receive a message from them, a bit of bliss flows through my body. These are usually the women who I end up getting to know on a personal level, and often cross the panes of anonymity to actual names. Recently I’ve been thinking about these handful of women, and realize that in my life, before this blog, there’s been several others. I’ve also realized I’ve never dated any of them, and even stopped the potential for such things.

Some of these women live close. Actually, they fall within my Chinese Bus rule. Other’s live a bit farther. Some are purely friends, other’s I could very well consider a lot more. The cross-section of those who make me smile and live in NYC are the fewest. One has turned into a great friend and taught me the “friends are never fucks, and fucks are never friends” rule. A rule which I think has hardened my possibilities of leaving the friend zone with women. Another, who I’ve considered a relationship with in the past, remains a friend mainly because I don’t think we’re compatible. The rest are a combination of missed opportunities, good friends, or have disappeared into the ether. In hindsight, these are the type of women I should have been after.

These women, who bring me little bits of bliss when they text, call, or just want to see me, should have been the women I’ve turned into relationships. They accept me for who I am, for all of my faults, flaws, and quirks. So why aren’t I dating them? It’s because I fell into many different traps, I set my requirements too high, but most importantly, I never noticed them until they were gone. I didn’t take the opportunities when they were presented to me and I let some other guy swoop them off their feet. I made the mistake, I let them go! I’m sure my dating life would be much different if I hadn’t let them run away (then again you wouldn’t be reading this).

The women who make me smiles are always, if not often, my A Listers. I value their friendship, but I don’t think I’ve ever told them what they mean to me. Even the ones who are far away. I truly value them, and in many cases, could see myself happily cuddled with them instead of running a singles blog. More often than not, these are the women who could have changed my life drastically, even if distance was the issue.

Today, one of these women asked me “why are you single?” I answered by stating I’ve missed many opportunities. In actuality, I’ve never told these special women what they mean to me. I’m too chicken shit to say, “I think you’re special,” and it comes out as “I think you’re awesome!” or “You’re a really great friend!”

I definitely need to grow a pair. If you have women like this in your life, you need to grow a pair as well and tell them the truth.

http://digital.tubmaninstitute.ca/myomeka/posters/show/2409 THE SINGLE WORST PIECE OF ADVICE I'VE EVER HEARD

http://digital.tubmaninstitute.ca/myomeka/posters/show/1270 TO FIND YOUR PERFECT PARTNER YOU HAVE TO ASK THE RIGHT QUESTIONS

How to Make A First Impression With A Beautiful Woman

Theoretically, you've only got a minute or so to make a first impression on a woman. So how do you impress a hot babe, enough to either hook up later, or leave her wanting more than your digits? Here's what's up.

Stay loose 

Above all that might happen, and is happening, you're having a good time, loving life, and she just happens to be there. You're only chatting her up because of location (which is why you're not asking much about work or school, and going with the deeper topics). She'll sense your relaxation, your sexiness, and a mysterious interest that's hard to pin down, and she'll open up. Keep the body language casual and comfy, and be playful. 

Demonstrate social capital

If you're in familiar territory, or with friends, it should be clear to her you're well-regarded. Your best bets are places where you're known, and if you're out of town, pop into the same hotel lounge or eateries your entire stay. Staff or regulars will speak to you, and establish a pleasing rapport. When asked personal questions, talk less about career and girlfriends, and more about people you helped move, find a job, get acclimated to a city, or get through a rough patch. A good transition into such a story is, 'That reminds me of when...'. 

Remember Her 

While she's speaking, mentally remind yourself her name, if need be. Pay strict attention, that way you can revisit points in her stories, her tastes, or share a similar experience. File these things away not just for that night, but in the chance you'll see her again soon. This separates guys that are hitting on everyone from those who are really listening. 

Dress For Success

Few things capture immediate attention like a sporty look. Your gear should say playboy, not office drone. Find a flattering hairstyle, keep your fingernails neat, and work out every other day. Beautiful girls are selective, and you want to be on the eligible list.

These principles will make you stand out and boost your confidence.

Sources:

https://www.baressp.com.br/site_php/links.php?ID=13541.&TP=ST&url=http://blog.loveawake.com/2019/02/19/fatal-attractions-signs-and-how-to-avoid/

https://www.uczelnie.edu.pl/redirect.php?url=http://blog.loveawake.com/2019/02/19/fatal-attractions-signs-and-how-to-avoid/

http://www.b2bwz.cn/url.asp?url=blog.loveawake.com/2019/02/19/fatal-attractions-signs-and-how-to-avoid/

https://www.walnutcreekcountryclub.org/default.aspx?p=TrackHyperlink&url=http://blog.loveawake.com/2019/02/19/fatal-attractions-signs-and-how-to-avoid/

http://www.portalnobras.com.br/redirect.asp?cod_cliente=101465&link=http://blog.loveawake.com/2019/02/19/fatal-attractions-signs-and-how-to-avoid/

http://www.zaharonim.org.il/redir.asp?url=http://blog.loveawake.com/2019/02/19/fatal-attractions-signs-and-how-to-avoid/

Six Signs She Might Leave You… For a Girl

There’s a reason movies like Wild Things still land in the Netflix cue; girl-on-girl action—with or without Neve Campbell and Denise Richards circa 1998—is pretty much every guy’s fantasy. Hell, some consider it more hot than upsetting when their girl hooks up with another girl. But what if she realizes she likes women better?

Yes, this actually happens. A friend in the Marine Corps came home from Iraq to find his wife living with another woman. He was aware of her bisexual past and, because he didn’t consider it cheating, gave her a pass to fool around with women. He didn’t expect to lose his wife to one. The couple is now separated and awaiting a divorce filing.

Are you in this kind of danger zone? There’s no need to be paranoid, but it doesn’t hurt to be aware of the following warning signs from our experts. At least that way, you won’t be blindsided if you walk in on some Wild Things-like behavior.

1. She Has a Bisexual or Lesbian History.
When discussing past sexual experience, note any mentions of bisexuality or times she was solely with women. Try to get a sense of what actually happened. A fling or some experimentation in college is one thing—a full-on lesbian relationship is quite another. “She might go that way again,” suggests Mary Lou MacIlvaine, Ph.D., a psychologist in private practice in San Diego.

2. She Condones Other Women Cheating With Women.
If the subject comes up and she doesn’t think it’s a big deal, that’s a “major red flag” says Dr. Natasha Valdez, a licensed sexologist in Austin, Texas. That’s especially true if she was previously against any kind of cheating and suddenly has an open mind. “People have character defenses that allow them to cheat or not cheat,” adds MacIlvaine.

3. She Brings Up a Desire to Experiment.
A threesome might be a fantasy for you, but it might be her way of telling you she wants to be with a woman—and using a threesome as an excuse because she knows you’ll be psyched. If you end up getting pushed off of the bed, that’s a pretty clear sign. “Women do that to their husbands,” explains Valdez. “They say they want to open up the relationship and fool around with women. That’s a huge sign.”

4. She Spends Excessive Time With a Certain Girlfriend.
Also known as: “Baby I’m at the nail salon, the mall, the movies and then to grab food.” It’s great to have a best friend, but if she’s with the same girl every time you call—and spending much more time with her than with you—be wary. Especially if that girl is smokin’ hot.

5. She Dolls up to Visit a Female Friend.
Say your woman suddenly starts wearing sexy clothing, doing her hair differently, or wearing a new perfume when she visits a girlfriend. Either that girlfriend is secretly a dude, or her sexual interests are shifting. “If she’s doing all of these extra things and you don’t feel like they are for you, who are they for?” asks Valdez.

6. You Spot Stuff That Isn’t Hers.
Noticing jewelry you didn’t buy her, or clothes in a different size? Think the same thing that you would think if you saw a guy’s gear: she’s fooling around with someone who isn’t you. Come across new lube that’s marked “for her pleasure”? We’ll let you figure that one out yourself.

A couple of these signs might be no big deal, but if it’s become painfully obvious your lady likes sushi, MacIlvaine encourages you to think about your goals with the relationship. You can bail if you feel she’s crossed the line. Or, if she’s down, so to speak, you can try to work her new passion into your relationship. Hey, it worked for Charlie Sheen! Oh wait…

Sources:

http://apalab.progettotrio.it/mahara/group/view.php?id=35

http://mahara.hu/mahara/group/view.php?id=919

http://shigra.net-learning.org/mahara/group/view.php?id=11

http://teresa.n-fukushi.ac.jp/mahara/group/view.php?id=10

https://mahara.ph-noe.ac.at/user/alla-kiss/the-top-ten-things-that-women-find-sexy-about-men

https://www.mahara.at/user/alkilfox/why-you-shouldn-t-make-new-years-resolutions

https://myportfolio.ac.nz/user/nora-angel/10-things-you-need-to-know-before-proposing

https://listovnik.sio.si/user/alex-winston/do-you-really-know-how-to-flirt-with-women-test-yourself

http://www.icollect.edu.my/view/view.php?t=hPzfn5sAY6IBrwaC0cNR

https://elearning.alp.dillingen.de/mahara/view/view.php?t=iR9jxAFJayX17zksbTOr

How To Talk To Your Children About Divorce

Knowing how to talk to your children about divorce is imperative. If you're going through the big "D" and unsure how to approach your children, collect yourself and take some time to think it over. Sometimes it's not what you say, but how you say it.

1. Pick the right time. Before school, important events or late nights are not good times to talk to your children about divorce. Choose the right time-when everyone is fresh, receptive and ready. Another typical place families talk about unpleasant matters is the dinner table. Do your children a favor and only talk about the divorce outside of routine family events.
2. Age appropriate. When talking to your children about divorce, remember about child development. What you say to a toddler versus an elementary school child versus a teenager varies wildly. Remember to be age appropriate. Also, only disclose what the child needs to know. Never down talk the other parent.
3. Enlist your partner's help. Your partner can help you talk to your children about divorce. She may be out the door and on her way to being your ex, but she's the mother of your children. Can you work with her to get on the same page?
4. Enlist the help of a professional. It may be that talking to your children about divorce is too much for you to handle. Or you and the children's mother may be at odds. If the process is overwhelming or the children are in too much pain, enlist the help of a professional. Your attorney can make suggestions if you're unsure which therapist is the best.

Jewish Divorce Law

Jewish divorce law is ruled by the ancient Talmud, but most of the divorce laws are realistic and fair and can be applied to today's situations. Judaism has recognized "no-fault" divorce for thousands of years. One of the few Jewish divorce laws that seems strange today is the fact that only the husband can initiate a divorce, and the wife cannot refuse the divorce. Rabbinical authorities have since taken steps to modify these rules by allowing the wife to prohibit the divorce without her consent or to compel the husband to divorce the wife under certain just circumstances.

A "get" is the word for "divorce document" in Hebrew, and means "scroll of cutting off." A Jewish marriage has been issued by a legal contract, so it can only be terminated by a "get" to make that contract null. The document is drawn up with rabbinical supervision and must be signed by both parties and witnesses. A "get" must wait for a civil divorce to be obtained. However, without the "get," the couple remains married in the eyes of Jewish law. Under Jewish divorce law, most rabbis will not officiate at a new wedding ceremony if either party has not obtained a "get."

The rabbinical court ("beit din") supervises the divorcing couple. This includes adjudicating cases, resolving disputes, and helping mediate custodial and financial issues. A qualified marital counselor is often suggested if there is a chance that the marriage can be saved. Child custody is decided by what is in the best interests of the children. Under Jewish divorce law, a "beit din" must not be prejudiced in favor of either party, even though many think that it would show favoritism to the husband. The Beth Din of America can coordinate with rabbis throughout the world to help finalize divorce cases and order a "get" to be delivered by proxy if necessary. The Beth Din also strongly encourages pre-nuptial agreements so that details are resolved beforehand and the couple agrees to submit to the decisions of the Beth Din. Regardless of any pre-nuptial arrangements, both parties must enter into a binding arbitration agreement, which is routinely upheld by the civil courts.

Technology: Social Lubricant, or a Crutch?

I recently blogged about a NYC singles event that merges texting with live interaction. The premise is as follows: if you think someone is cute, you can text their badge number to Cupid’s Lab. If – and only if – that person likes you too and texts your badge number to Cupid’s Lab, you both get texts indicating that the other party is attracted to you. It’s a low-risk way of finding out if the person you’re into is into you, too. That way, you’re less likely to fear rejection if you approach him or her – if you haven’t already. (At least, that’s how I read it.)

Granted, Cupid’s Lab has a novel concept here, and since texting at a bar or club is so common, the behavior required on the part of users requires no hurdle (beyond wearing a badge, which doesn’t feel so silly if everyone’s doing it.) But the whole exercise reminds me of high school (back in the day, when we didn’t text).

Agatha likes Ben. Agatha asks her BFF Cathy to find out if Ben likes her back. If Cathy asks Ben, “So what do you think about Agatha?” then Ben will surmise that Agatha likes him. If Agatha finds this too risky, she can ask Cathy to ask Ben’s buddy Dalton to ask Ben, “Hey, what do you think of Agatha?” If Ben says, “She’s hot,” Dalton can tell Cathy, who then tells Agatha. Agatha can then be more forward with Ben, or what have you.

The texting service just cuts out the BFFs and best buds. Instead of having an IRL (In Real Life) social network (like one has in high school), the service acts as single node to replace two other people. And this node only sends out, “S/he likes you” if it gets a positive signal from both. At one of these Cupid’s Lab parties, if you text someone’s badge number and get nothing back, you haven’t “lost face,” because the other person doesn’t know about it if they don’t text your badge number as well.

I’m not one to talk – I’ve never been terribly confident approaching someone cold, and besides, I’m married – but this new use of technology seems like a crutch. I mean, if you are attracted to someone at a gathering, you just go up to them and start a conversation, right? If you’re old enough to drink, you shouldn’t have to ask your BFF to find out if that guy thinks you’re cute. You send a clear signal, or you make the first move. There’s something about relying on an external source – especially when it comes to the “mating game” – that seems juvenile.

Unless we’re talking about matchmaking. Cupid’s Lab enables this, too. You can text the badge numbers of two people you think would hit it off, and they both get a notification that someone thinks they’d make a good match. In the real world, if you trust someone’s judgment and they match you up with someone, you’re essentially using them as a social filter. Complex algorithms used by some online dating sites serve the same function. Out of a sea of people, they choose people whom they believe will be compatible with you.

We don’t look for mates in a vacuum. Friends help make our search easier, either by vetting a potential mate or introducing you to one of their friends. In the age of text messages and social media, we can now cut out our trusted associates and rely on technologies that serve basically the same function.

But should we?

References:

http://members.ifalpa.org/magpierss/scripts/magpie_debug.php?url=https%3A%2F%2Fblog.loveawake.com%2Ffeed

http://www.vector-networks.com/includes/magpierss/scripts/magpie_debug.php?url=https%3A%2F%2Fblog.loveawake.com%2Ffeed

https://www.stichtingoekraine.nl/external/magpierss/scripts/magpie_debug.php?url=https%3A%2F%2Fblog.loveawake.com%2Ffeed

http://www.jstclair.com/feed/magpie_debug.php?url=https%3A%2F%2Fblog.loveawake.com%2Ffeed

http://from.esad-gv.fr/designgraphique/_archives_etudiants/DNSEP_2013/Yann_Alary/RECHERCHES/agreger/magpierss-0.72%202/scripts/magpie_debug.php?url=https%3A%2F%2Fblog.loveawake.com%2Ffeed

http://unistudyguides.com/bluespice-mw/ext-dist/RSS-Topdate/scripts/magpie_debug.php?url=https%3A%2F%2Fblog.loveawake.com%2Ffeed

http://www.dalanci.nl/tourlive/feed/magpie_debug.php?url=https%3A%2F%2Fblog.loveawake.com%2Ffeed

http://oms16.fr/include/magpierss/scripts/magpie_debug.php?url=https%3A%2F%2Fblog.loveawake.com%2Ffeed

http://malavoi3.martinique.univ-ag.fr/buag/bnrmi/magpierss-0.72/scripts/magpie_debug.php?url=https%3A%2F%2Fblog.loveawake.com%2Ffeed

ARE CRAZY WOMEN FORCING MEN TO MARRY?

Recently I was talking to a guy friend of mine who is about to get married and, like always, I wasn’t pulling any punches. I flat out asked him why he was getting married if there were fundamental issues in his relationship that already had him looking outside his relationship. Luckily he is used to my candid speech and didn’t get offended by the question. His answer didn’t shock me, though I wish it had.

I’M TIRED OF CRAZY WOMEN

“I’m tired of crazy women. Every girl I dated prior to my fiancé was insane.” He admitted. “The thought of dating again horrifies me.”

I sat with that a second and then finally spoke. “So you are getting married to a woman you know you will cheat on because you don’t want to date crazy women again?”

“Yup.” Came his clear and concise answer.

I couldn’t leave it there though, my dating blogger self had to know more. If I had a guy willing to talk about crazy women and the affect they had on dating…I was digging for more.

“What makes you call them crazy women?” I asked with genuine interest.

“Jewels, you don’t realize how different you are from the average woman out there dating right now. They are needy as shit. If I don’t answer a text or phone call immediately they freak out on me. You know that doesn’t work with me. Everything had to move so fast with them.” My friend is an emergency personnel worker, so when calls come in he has to respond.

Okay, so he gets a call and can’t respond to his phone right away. I get that totally, so why wouldn’t another woman? This is simple; you know what he does for a living so why would this surprise you? I’m shaking my head on the other side of the phone and still in wonder at the whole situation.

I ended that part of the conversation with a very simple statement that I hope hit home. “You know that mistresses are straight up psycho…right?”

“Not all.” He said with a knowing laugh and that was the end of that topic.

The sad part of this conversation is that he’s not the first or only man that I know who has done the exact same thing. I’ve had men admit to me that they got married only because they were tired of crazy women, dating, and drama. They love their wife, don’t get me wrong, but they have no problem telling me that there are fatal flaws in the relationship. Not just flaws; ones that have them looking elsewhere for either emotional or physical comfort. All of this is still preferable to dealing with crazy women and dating again.

I’ve written before about the issues I take with women who behave ridiculously. I’ve addressed the crazy women, stalkers, and over texters who just don’t know when to call it quits. I will never understand why they think behaving like a rabbit boiling psycho will endear them to the object of their affection. More over if the roles were reversed they’d be calling the cops terrified that they were being stalked by a crazy guy. What makes them think they are exempt from the same laws the govern a person’s right to be left alone and not harassed?

It’s not just acting like crazy women that drives me crazy, though. Also is the lying and game playing that takes place in the dating world. When you lie, even a ‘white lie’, to men when you are out it is unacceptable. Don’t tell hi that you have a boyfriend when you really mean you aren’t interested. NEVER claim to be a lesbian to get rid of unwanted attention! There is no reason to make up bold faced lies when dating when the truth will suffice just fine.

Look, I get that we all want different things in a partner and that is fine. If one of your must haves is constant communication then be vocal about that up front so they can decide if that’s something they can tolerate or not. If you want sex daily then be clear about that too because nothing will lead to cheating quicker than being dissatisfied wit your sex life.

More than that know what kind of “relationship” you are entering into. Going on 3 dates with somebody does not entitle you to girlfriend rights. You are dating not in a monogamous relationship. When you are dating, sleeping together, hooking up, or whatever you want to call it, you need to know your limits. If you don’t know them…talk about them or use your common freaking sense. After 2 dates you can’t turn into a crazy woman, text stalk a guy, and then put him on blast for not answering your text message in a two hour window.

There is something to be said for acting like a lady. Compose yourself. When in doubt utilize some restraint. Ask a friend, the non-slutty and deranged one, for some advice if you have to. Edgy women can be sexy but crazy is always just crazy. Even if the relationship is just sexual crazy women are only tolerable for so long.

Ask yourself: Do I want to be the one he keeps around or the one he laughs about? Do I want his desire and respect or do I not really mind him telling all his friends that I may be psycho but I give good head? Once you have your answer…act accordingly.

Crazy women are killing the dating pool. Insane women are SCARING these men into marriage. The only way to stop this behavior is to raise the bar on our friends and us. Ladies, stop being so cray cray! The long and short of it is that we are all adults and there is no reason for high school dating behavior. Compose yourself. Don’t act like it’s your first rodeo.

Resources:

https://www.tradingfloor.com/traders/jamesjeel
https://www.quixapp.com/seo/?r=https://blog.loveawake.com