“Really?! Oh wow! Was it Loveawake or Match?That’s the usual response that we receive when we mention that we met online. Meeting online has become quite common, I could think of three (make that four) couples that we know personally that have met online. No We didn’t meet on either of those sites. We Met on a niche site and neither of us were premium members. Our is not one of those typical online dating success stories. Ours is different than most.
I don’t quite remember how we “connected”. What I remember for sure was that I was not looking for romance. He wasn’t either. Simply said, he just seemed like a genuinely nice guy. That’s what I saw in his profile pica. Yes. He was tall, dark, and handsome. For whatever reason, I didn’t see that. Yet. He didn’t see me as his future wife either. We were buddies, literally. We exchanged countless instant messages. It felt so good chatting with him. It was comfortable. It was easy, in a good way. We chatted about church, life, work, school, and relationships. He heard all about my adventures in the childcare industry. I heard all about his hour and a half commutes to work in his 1994 Chrysler New Yorker after he graduated college.
After failed attempts at online dating, I swore I would never do it again. That’s what I told my mom. “As a matter of fact, I won’t even talk to guys online if I don’t know them in person. Well….there is one guy, but he’s different. We don’t even talk on the phone. We are just friends. I feel comfortable still talking to him.”
There’s that word again “different”. We eventually started talking on the phone, but it was unremarkable. His voice was attractive and strikingly deep. Conversation was okay, but it was nothing more or nothing less. Then, something happened. I needed a date to a wedding. It dawned on me. I should ask him. I figured this was probably the safest way to meet someone that I have never met. More importantly, I knew that I could be comfortable with him as my date. It’s weird how I knew, but I did. Truthfully, I did not really think that he would drive two and a half hours to where I lived to be my date, but I was pleasantly surprised when he said yes.
Our first meeting was just what I expected it to be. It was fun and it was comfortable. This was different for me, but I still wasn’t seeing the possibilities. He didn’t either.
Apparently, we were the only ones. While walking by our friend’s four year old daughter, she asked, “Kristy, is that your husband?” I was stunned, but managed to apologize profusely to him. My Pastor’s wife stopped me while in line for cake and said,”Oooh Kristy, he is cute!” My Pastor stopped me the next day to point out how nice he was and how impressed he was with his sense of humor, easygoing nature, good job, and nice car. He was impressed with how he dressed too. However, in my mind he was just my friend. I was starting to see that he was handsome. Yes, he had a great career. Yes, he drove a convertible Mustang. I was happy for him, but that was the extent of it.
Then, he accompanied me to another wedding. The wedding was beautiful, but once again nothing went as planned. Knowing that he was a lover of jazz, I took him to “the best jazz spot” in the area. There was a country singer performing that night. We were hungry. They served no food. It was such a crazy day! I noticed something though that changed my opinion of him forever. I noticed he kept me calm. He kept me happy. He kept me laughing. We had the absolute best time together. The light bulb went off. “I could use some of that in my life.” I thought to myself.
A couple months later The Mr. invited me to come watch his jazz band play at a local festival. At this point I was one outing short of becoming head over heels over this man. I will never forget praying to God on the way to this festival. “Lord, I can’t deal with this anymore. If this is your will, please let something happen quickly. If not, please let these feelings go away. I do not want our friendship to be ruined over my feelings. In Jesus’ name.”
This day was not much different than any other time we were together. Though it was cold and rainy, we had an amazing time. His band was incredible and I could not keep my eyes off that handsome and talented saxophone player. Afterwards we walked around the park and grabbed a bit to eat. It was a perfect date, but it wasn’t a date. However, there was this woman dining in the same restaurant who saw things differently. She had obviously had a bit much to drink, but she was fixated on us. On her way out of the restaurant, she stopped at our table and said, “You two must be on a date. Is it your first date? Third date?” My heart jumped. I waited to see what he would say, but he wasn’t saying anything. However, I could tell by his expression that he wasn’t turned off by the idea either. This was good enough for me. “It’s our first date”, I said. She walked away. We laughed it off and continued our day. Two days later, The Mr. asked me to be his girlfriend. About a year and a half after that, he became my fiancé. Nine months after that, I became his Mrs. that was about a year and half ago. God continues to lead us. The Mr. Once said that he would never be in a long distance relationship, and truthfully I never thought that we would end up together. However, here we are loving every minute of our perfectly different happily ever after. I once asked The Mr. what changed his mind about dating someone long distance. He responded with, “…I didn’t want to lose the chance of being with you.”
I’m so grateful that he chose me.
