понедельник, 6 мая 2019 г.

Booty Calling Someone Before a First Date: Not a Good Idea




Last week, I received a drunk dial on Friday from a guy that I had a first date with on Saturday. Actually, make that two calls. Neither of which I answered. The next night, after waiting for 10 minutes at the designated meeting spot (which also happened to be the corner outside his apartment), I joined my friends for dinner. I received three more phone calls during dinner (which he knew about via text) and one awesome final drunk dial at 2:30 AM, which woke me up when I had an 8:30 AM flight. Now he wonders why I won't "hookah" with him next Saturday.

Oh, by the way, this entire date, besides the initial meeting, was set up via Facebook.
And this is just the latest in a virtual cesspool of technological dating errors. I've also had two Microsoft Outlook dates turninto duds. Years of drunken, college booty calls have caused intimacy and commitment issues I don't know if I'll ever overcome, and my sister is currently in a fight with her boyfriend because she didn't answer her phone for a three-hour period last night. Every night, at least one of my friends exclaims "Oh my God, he's read my BBM!! Why isn't he responding?!" And I have had not one, but two completely unrelated friends, scream at their boyfriends and have their rants transcribed, in real time, on their iphones. They had nowhere to run in the morning.

It's sad, really. Courtship has been reduced to Facebook stalking sessions and drunken booty calls. Instead of a nice message on your voicemail wondering if you'd like to catch a movie, you get a message over the internet that says, "Yo, u look hot. We want to hook up w u cutiez." Even the temptation of an illicit affair has lost its sinful appeal because you can just text six people at the same time on your Sidekick.

I'm not asking for rose petals on the bed and hundred of candles from Hobby Lobby all over the room. In fact, I think that would make me gag. But how about a phone call rather than a text conversation that takes three hours to come to fruition? How about a surprise home-cooked meal? Nothing fancy. I'll like you and you get to eat. Both important to evolutionary success. And let's be honest, that's really what this is all about. So please, shut down your computer, turn off your crackberry, and let's produce some offspring.
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Meet The Author
Hi. I'm Blair. 5' 3', blue eyes, brown hair that really needs to be washed right now. But you can see all that on my Ignighter profile. I guess what you need to know here is that my personality falls into the 'Analysis Paralysis' category. At least, that's why my ex-life coach told me right before I fired her.

Anyways, this means that I will scrutinize and over-analyze everything I see and/ or hear and/ or smell within the young urbanites' dating scene. My theories, rants and questions will wind up here, most of the time with an entertaining story or 5 about one of my friends', or my own, dating sagas (please don't take this as a reason to not date and/or befriend me). I hope you enjoy the ride, and feel free to hop on with questions and comments at any time.

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