SEXTING: seems it has more potential to bite you in the ass than impress people with your ass

As a Loveawake panelist I am equipped to answer any and all questions on all matters of sex, relationships and nipple size, but I must admit there is one area that I am not 100% educated on: Sexting.

You see, unfortunately, the rise in sexting cropped up at the same time I entered a monogamous relationship with Mrs. FG. I missed out on the simple modern pleasure of sexting as common practice. I missed out on punctuating a promising first date with something like "Katie, had a great time at the opera tonight. Please see attached: a close up of my testicles. Pics of me posing in front of bathroom mirror to follow. Best, Amit."

Yes, here and there I'll text Mrs. FG a picture of me in Congressman Anthony Weiner's underwear as a sort of shorthand for "I miss you babe. Are we cooking or ordering in tonight?" But for the most part I feel sort of on the outs with the sexting craze.

And so this blog post, as much as any I've written previously, is a request for feedback and education. I wonder, how many of you out there regularly sext? What are the rules and common practices associated with it? Is it more fun to send or receive?

It seems it has more potential to bite you in the ass than impress people with your ass --Think: Blake, Brett, Tiger, Jesse, Rihanna, Kanye. And while nothing says, "I love you" to a guy like opening up a grainy pic of your boobs snapped in a changing room at the GAP, I wonder if it's the most prudent thing to do.

The danger of images getting into the wrong hands and eyes is nearly inescapable. Lost phones, and boyfriends becoming ex-boyfriends, almost guarantee that the loving portrait you sent in that neon thong and his sombrero will be disseminated to your friends, family and enemies as soon as you dump him.

Is there a way to protect against this? It's almost as if before you press "send" every phone should have a pop-up that reads: "remember dummy, any and all pics you send can and will def be used against you in the future. Are you sure it's worth sending a shot of your half hard-on wrapped in a ribbon?"

Ideally, a sext should have a shelf life of about 4 minutes and self-destruct afterwards, but technology hasn't quite caught up to that. Yes, you can delete a pic after receiving it, but who has time for that if you're in the middle of great Words with Friends battle or simultaneously checking into Applebees.

We live in a funny time. As we speak radio waves, satellites, and optical networks are busy delivering pics of smooching lips, hairy vaginas, tushies and boners to one another. It seems once we, as a society, get our hands on technology it's only a matter of time before we collectively ask ourselves, "Hmm, how can I use this to get laid?" Makes you realize the invention of caves only really caught on when cave guys realized chicks prefer having sex without getting rained on or eaten. And, that the first cave drawings were nothing less than primitive sexts.

So school me. What are the ins and outs of Sexting?