Would You Ask Your Grandma About Sex, Porn and Masturbation?

Neither would we. But lucky for us, the ladies at The Frisky did.

We already know that your grandmother thinks Paris Hilton is a whore. But what does she think about watching porn during sex? Masturbation? (And what is with my fascination with what octogenarians think about sex? That one remains a mystery.)

However, I can tell you what dear old grammy thinks about anal and such. Well, not your grandmother. (I have no affiliation with the Psychic Friends Network.) Nor my own grandmothers. (They both passed away when I was still under the impression that oral sex only took place over the telephone--a notion I held steadfast until preteen-dom. Clearly, I was operating on some serious misinformation about the birds and the bees. Imagine my shock when I uncovered the truth.)

But, for those of us who wouldn't dare speak such dirty, dirty words in the presence of our dear old grandmothers, there is Simcha Whitehill, a blogger at Thesolarbiz.com/. Simcha has boldly gone where few granddaughters have dared to go before: She had "the talk" (and so much more) with her 85-year-old grandma.

For the last few months, Simcha has posted several revealing interviews with her grandmother, a Holocaust survivor who recently moved into her 94-year-old boyfriend's New York apartment until winter, when the couple hits up Boca Raton. If you have a few minutes, I certainly suggest giving the Ask Grandma videos a little looksy.

If not for the love and sex advice, which is so wondrously frank, for the moments that are so cringe-worthy, they hearken back to the days when, by some form of cosmic punishment, you first watched a movie sex scene with mom and dad in the family room.

As it turns out, Simcha's grams is pretty shrewd--and not the least bit shy about telling a guy what she wants in the sack. Sounds like my kind of lady. Cue the intro with granny arranging flowers, smearing on some sexy red lipstick, pouring a nice cold glass of Tanqueray and getting comfy for some hard-hitting Q&A.;

Should you trust your heart or your head? Your brain. Should you break up with a guy who is bad in bed? "If that's a question, break up because it's no good," she says. "You would know if it's good or not." Yes, dear grams. We would know, indeed. And we couldn't agree more.

But what if your man watches porn during sex--is that normal? Absolutely. "Watch with him and enjoy it," she says as she turns to her granddaughter. "Were you shocked when I said that?"

Now a foray into the history books: How did women masturbate before vibrators? "I don’t know, but nothing’s wrong with vibrators," she says as she turns to camera, smiles and shrugs. "So what's wrong with this masturbating? That’s an old one--since the world was discovered. Children do it. It’s part of life. Nothing to be ashamed of or feel guilty about. It’s part of nature."

Well, there you have it. Permission from grandma to masturbate sans guilt until the cows come home. If you've got a burning question that you wouldn't dare spring on your own grams, it seems that Simcha's grandma is still fielding questions. Just don't ask her about anal. This granny dodged the question. Every matriarch has to draw the line somewhere.