I'm Not a Goddamn Cougar

Let's start with a few facts:

-I am 39 and so that makes me just about old enough to be a cougar. And if not a cougar than certainly a puma.

-I do indeed look fabulous for my age and get hit on by younger guys all the time.

-I saw the cougars episode of 30 Rock and the premiere of Cougartown. And for some masochistic reason I also read every silly cougar themed article I come across.

And you know what, I think it's all a big fraud being perpetrated by the media. I think they needed something spicy to write about, to entertain themselves and us. They wanted to balance out all of the sadness and catastrophe of the last few years.

And then some marketing genius saw a picture of Demi and Ashton in the paper and thought - EUREKA, COUGARS.

Now, I'm not doubting that there are some older women who date younger men, or that there are some perfectly happy cougar-cub (lord, I hate that phrase) couples. But there is no new cougar trend emerging in society.

Women, like me, who found younger men tiresome and immature 6 months ago haven't suddenly change their minds. We aren't sitting around and thinking, "Gee, I'd so much rather date a young guy who couldn't possibly relate to my life experiences like some man my own age." No offense to men in their early 20s. I adored them, when I was in my early 20s. Now, not so much.

If there is a slight uptick in women dater younger men it's only because so many of the men in their 40s aren't interested in dating women their own age. They leave us no choice.

So please, the next time you see a hot 40ish year-old woman, please please please don't call her a cougar. While there might be a few of us who like the word and throw it around in jest, the rest of it hate it and can't wait for the next fake trend to emerge. Cyberdating, perhaps?